My 4 year long distance indian girlfriend/fiance has suddenly become very abusive to my parents. She doesn't say anything to them directly but she blames everything on my parents. This started in 2019, I never noticed any signs of abuse before. We decided to get married in 2019 and now with wedding planning and stuff we had to move around certain things and change certain plans. She has called my father a show-off, a liar , fake , etc. Some context here - we are throwing separate receptions because she thinks our guests will spoil the aura of her reception. I recently grabbed an offer from Amazon and was not able to make it to Google and in another argument she said that I should leave preparing for Google as I am too old now and will probably be 50 years old when I get in. In another incident she went ahead and shared our private messages with her parents, which was shocking to me. We had to cancel our honeymoon plan because of changes in the planning as she wouldn't let us throw a single combined reception and the reason for cancellation was also blamed on my parents. In many fights she claims that I will never get a person like her. I think I am facing this abuse since the past three months and now I think The Stockholm syndrome is hitting me and I have starting to think that may be my parents are like that and I am sympathizing with her. I have become rude to my parents and I dont know when all this happened. She has also called me a coward multiple times for not standing up to my parents. I need some help here: we have been in a long distance relationship since 4 years now and she claims that she let go of many men just to wait for me to get settled. I was actually waiting for my visa to tie the knot. I feel like breaking up with her but saddled in the guilt that she waited for me all this while. There have been lot of times when she was very caring and understanding but I feel scared of her. To even propose a new idea to her freaks me out, the fear of her lashing her wrath on me again. Should I end things before the wedding and let go or is this normal and I suck it up and will things be fine, I have never been so scared, I feel pressured as she has already spread the word to everyone that she is going to get married to me? When we started dating I was unemployed so I dont think she cares about how much I earn, definitely not in it for money. I really want her to not abuse my parents like that or hurt me. All other things are fine I guess. Need help folks. TC 220 Edit: She also sends me messages like this but then the abuse starts again whenever things go a little out of the way.
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And still OP post his TC 😂😂
Leave its a complicated decision but you cannot lose your rest of the life..
Leave or this will be your daily life. Don't worry about the guilty, keep your sanity.
Never marry out of guilt. You are destroying many lives - not just yours. Better to walk away now if your primary reason to marry is guilt.
I’m not Indian but curious why you specifically mentioned “Indian girlfriend”?
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There’s a few options here: A) Dump her. B) The behavior changes and you live together happily ever after. C) You maintain the status quo for the rest of your life. Imagine dealing with abusive behavior for the next 40 years (shudder). That said, B) is possible, but only you will be able to make the decision of how to get there.
Leave.