I've worked with many aggressive men in IT over the years. They tend to rise to influence and get away with arguing and taking a hard stand. I learned from them to certain degree when it comes to disagreements. However, if I slightly show aggression, uncomfortable tone, or take a stance then I'm seen as a witch to others. So... Would I be seen as aggressive if I had a third leg? Seriously, I've seen only super calm and collective women make it to the top while unstable aggressive men rise even faster than said women. Is there a double standard for conduct?
Yes. A thousand times yes. I can only share my experience- i used to think matching aggression with aggression was the way to win. But thatโs not who I was. It was inauthentic. While my male counterparts were rewarded for mediocrity, it took time to recognize the strength in my femininity. I soon got that what mattered was the velocity with which my words turned to actions and my actions turned into results. Male, female, or other - power (in the absence of force) is undeniable.
Yes, but there's also a ceiling to aggressive people. At some point people only rise more if others like them, and being aggressive likely will hurt their chances.
Yes absolutely
U need a leg and two basketballs
Shopping for basketballs now...
Yes, in our society that is full of bias, aggressive women are perceived as insecure and thus not to be trusted. Aggressive men are perceived as confident leaders asserting their power. Not saying that itโs right, itโs just the way things are.
Argh. Bias sucks.
Iโm a man and learnt to be absolutely obedient. Doing otherwise seriously hurt my career in the past. When Iโve been very nice, I achieved things. All of the above on the Amazon job! If this can heppen at a wild and innovative place like Amazon, just imagine how that would be in traditional places. You can take hard stance when youโre the CEO.
Thanks, good advice.
Being aggressive is one way people engage each other. Depending on the dynamic, it can often show to be lacking substance if done arbitrarily. Too aggressive can also make enemies or be known as an ass. There is a confidence component that can be communicated in a variety of ways and assertiveness is just one of those ways. There are times to hold to your ideas, and insist on what is the right thing to do. If you generally hold back, then suddenly don't, this can get people's attention because people react to change. Say what they might, hold firm if your reason was solid, because backing down will be a way others will subtly control you.
Great advice. Gracias.
I wonder, if we swap the genders in OP post, what would SJW say, and would they be triggered?
SJW??
The female leaders Iโve seen are backstabbers.. nice to your face but will work behind the scenes to cut you down. Aggressive male leaders are just that; twats that yell and berate. Pick your poison
Ouch. I can't agree about female leaders. I think most of them make it to the top by being yes women and delivering without a problem for their manager.
So you can be aggressive but reasonable and constructive. I think the culture is changing and anyone with temper that they cannot control should lern new skills.
I agree with what you're saying. My point is more so are men given more allowances to be aggressive with a temper than women?
In some teams you are the only woman, so you are much more visible, in others - sexism, sometimes also ladies can make it personal and not about the project
Tech Industry
Yesterday
1188
RIP Lacework
Tech Industry
Yesterday
1399
Twitter has laid off 80% and is still functioning so well. What's the need for so many tech workers?
Tech Industry
Yesterday
587
Chances of meta clearing E5 with screwing up one coding one round and acing all other
Tech Industry
Yesterday
1686
So hard being a women in tech industry
Layoffs
2d
41487
Google CFO confirms 'large-scale' layoffs (Apr 17)
Third leg ๐
More like 11th toe for most guys.
Or 1253rd pub*c hair.