Always Poor

Palo Alto Networks 💩😷🤦‍♂️🙃🤓
May 12 50 Comments

Always poor in my whole life. Have to support 7 people and single income. I’ve been working my ass off for the past 10 years, still my bank balance is $10K. Some stupid stocks worth 30K.

Feels like a loser sometimes, nothing at all otherwise. No light or signs of getting rich in future. Was thinking to buy a iphone for past 8 years, couldn’t. Feels it’s way expensive.

TC: $150K

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TOP 50 Comments
  • Oracle randomdood
    You can buy one off craigslist cheap :). You’re also helping 7 people. Good for you. Life is expensive though. Sucks
    May 12 7
    • Palo Alto Networks 💩😷🤦‍♂️🙃🤓
      OP
      Given an example of iphone. There are a lot of things i want to buy for myself and I couldn’t, just because i feel im poor, not worth that etc
      May 12
    • Apple shdhdhdj
      Don’t think! Just buy it bro. How come you have to support many for 10 years
      May 12
    • Palo Alto Networks 💩😷🤦‍♂️🙃🤓
      OP
      I wish i could. But all other my family members spend as if i was a millionaire. Mom was asking for another good house.
      May 12
    • Uber / Eng rqDs70
      Why on Earth would you buy an iPhone?
      May 12
    • Apple shdhdhdj
      @uber: cuz it’s the best phone.
      I can understand you Palo Alto. I actually was in a similar situation. You may have to be a little strategic. They may take it for granted and get lazy which is not good for both you and them. Remember: Hardship makes people stronger and better. Luxury destroys both the body and the soul. So no worry giving them a little hardship. It’s good for you both.
      May 12
    • Paychex ReKz02
      So you're working your ass off and they're spending it? Time to stop that shit. Put em on a budget. Let me guess, they say they raised you so now you owe them?
      May 12
    • Uber / Eng rqDs70
      Best phone is highly debatable, always freeze, doesn't receive half of the small, etc, but that's not the question, if you're saving are 10k, why would you even consider spending 10% of it in luxury product?
      May 12
  • Amazon / Eng Troll Food
    Wealth in life is not always about dollar sign. If you are supporting family that wealth too.
    May 12 0
  • Salesforce rcno01
    You're an hero. Keep it up, you're gonna find a way to make it happen
    May 12 0
  • Google Mmkaay
    I am not Indian but my culture has similarities to Indian culture.
    Family expectations were too high from me. Oh he lives in America and works for Google! Everyone wants something from me, especially cash.

    Best way is to set their expectations right. Send them only enough to live frugally and save the rest for yourself. Tell them that all your friends bought houses and saved for retirement and you need to take care of yourself.

    Last time my brother sent me a message asking for ‘a loan’ to fix his house. Just ignored the message altogether. They will think twice before asking again.
    May 12 7
    • Microsoft ImAwesome
      But you do work for google so have a lot of $.....
      May 12
    • Amazon / Eng togiwiw
      Yeah, it's nice to do things for the family but you have to be careful not to enable their bad habits.
      May 12
    • Google Mmkaay
      Yes, I helped a lot, around $30k over a few years. But when my mother asks me to pay for my brother’s plans to get a master’s degree in the US (~$70k) the answer is NO. Period.
      May 12
    • Amazon / Eng togiwiw
      I actually paid for my brother's masters (as a loan) but he went to a cheap state school lol. As long as everyone understands their boundaries, going beyond expectations feels nice and fulfilling.

      I've found the important thing is to be able to be open and say no. I've flat out said I don't have the money at times because I didn't (aside from my personal investing and savings goals) and my parents understand. My brother also doesn't think of me as free meal ticket so lives extremely frugally till he graduates and gets a job.
      May 12
    • Google Mmkaay
      That is great. To continue my story, once I said ‘no’ money started to show up in the family to help him with that. And my mother had some unexpected inheritance money as her brother died. Still not enough but now I am more open to give him a $15k loan to help him out, but definitely can’t take responsibility for $70k costs.

      How much did it cost for your brother?
      May 12
    • Amazon / Eng togiwiw
      Yeah that's strange. My family is extremely open about our finances so I know exactly how much my parents have.

      It'll probably end up costing around 30-35k once everything is done.
      May 12
    • Google Mmkaay
      Including living costs? What school is that? And what Major? Computer Science?
      May 12
  • Symantec / Eng 0xdeaf
    I bow to you. You are a hero.

    But you are also an idiot. That is because you posted your pain here, in a forum that is known to be emotionally retrdd, full of trolls, full of people who claim they are poor because they Earn only 300k a year and are just 20 something. People who never had to wait for the father to bring the bread home before any one could eat anything.

    Showing war wounds in such places will only bring you grief.
    May 12 2
    • Palo Alto Networks 💩😷🤦‍♂️🙃🤓
      OP
      Just wanted to let it go anonymously
      May 12
    • Symantec / Eng 0xdeaf
      Sure, do it, as long as you are able to accept the hurt ppl are gonna give u. I have no respect for this forum. I have seen posts where someone is contemplating suicide and ppl are mocking him/her. I have seen posts where someone is sharing how their mother died and the us insurance didn't help, and ppl have mocked them and made fun.
      May 12
  • Microsoft ImAwesome
    7 people?
    May 12 2
    • New bmmC14
      He is an Indian. It’s common when an oldest brother supports everyone in the family.
      May 12
    • Amazon jtGV66
      That’s BS
      May 12
  • Bay Area? You should be making a lot more than 150k if you want to support 7 people.

    Or, tell some of those people that you can’t support them anymore. Are they taking advantage of you, thinking you’re some kind of Silicon Valley tech millionaire? If they genuinely care about you, they will understand if you can’t support them anymore.
    May 12 2
    • Palo Alto Networks 💩😷🤦‍♂️🙃🤓
      OP
      On H1. When i ask for more TC i got nothing more than rejections.
      May 12
    • H1 shouldn’t affect TC so much. Try changing companies if you can.
      May 12
  • New gravos
    You are doing a great thing by supporting your family. BUT, you are a human being with rights too. Do not allow your kindness and sense of duty to be exploited.

    Are the family members you are supporting living as frugally as you are? If not, you should reevaluate how much support you are providing.

    For example, for many years I paid paid for my brother's cell phone bill because he was a student with a lot of debt and minimal income. But last year I noticed he started traveling a lot and going to expensive restaurants and posting it on social media. I decided if he could afford these luxuries, then he shouldn't need me to subsidize his expenses.
    May 12 3
    • Symantec / Eng 0xdeaf
      How did u manage to say 'no'. Please teach us that. It scares me to know that saying 'no' might spoil the relationship
      May 12
    • Amazon damned
      It's easy to say no to someone taking advantage of you.
      May 12
    • New gravos
      The first step is to look inward. What were the reasons that caused you to initially start supporting the people in your life. Were they good reasons in the past? Are they good reasons in the present? How far into the future will they be good reasons? Is this support sustainable?

      Next look to your relationship with those you are supporting: Has their financial situation improved? Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of? Do they feel entitled to your contribution or do they appreciate your voluntary sacrifice (this isn't to be confused with having an ego, but rather that you are not being taken advantage of)

      There are many variables and people's relationships are complex, but if after thinking about this and coming to the conclusion that you should end or reduce your aid you need to begin thinking about your approach.

      Taking into consideration your aid, there should be a sense of mutual respect between the two parties. You take the answers from the previous questions and form them into a clear but respectful statement. It's important not to speak disrespectfully, but help them understand that your aid is not sustainable and that you would like to reduce or end it in the future. If necessary, try to help them come up with a plan to become self sustaining. This could be a combination of cutting out expenses and increasing income.

      For example, after my mom lost her job and my step father's freelance income was greatly reduced they could no longer afford their mortgage. I paid for their mortgage for 1 year, after that I saw they were not making any changes to solve this problem. I went through their finances with them and helped them understand that they simply could not afford to live in such a large house without additional income. I helped them to come up with a plan to sell their house and move into a modest home that they could afford without financial stress. Even now after 2.5 years, I am still paying for their mortgage but they finally have a buyer for their home and it should sell in the next month. I've continued to support them during this time because I love and care for them. But ultimately I had to be the adult and tell them that their lifestyle was unsustainable and suggested a solution.
      May 12
  • Juniper jDGN45
    More respect to you... Some people leave their parents to die.. be proud of it ....
    May 12 0
  • Microsoft bigsixhero
    OP you need a to go get some help from r/personalfinance. Supporting 7 people is also unrealistic and you need to set boundaries and a clear budget. Place a hard emphasis on retirement fund and savings and downgrade everyone’s lifestyle to support your goals. Don’t cave into pressure, its your money and your life.
    May 12 0
  • Microsoft eu73-$7
    condoms are great
    May 12 1
    • Symantec / Eng 0xdeaf
      Op, this proves my point
      May 12
  • Google wdyt
    are you at least able to save some towards retirement?
    May 12 2
    • Palo Alto Networks 💩😷🤦‍♂️🙃🤓
      OP
      Yea. 30K. But no hopes getting that money. Cause todays life expectancies are very low. If you are lucky you will cross 60
      May 12
    • Google wdyt
      that’s a bit of a grim outlook. maybe you could talk to someone. like a therapist. I even see a therapist.
      May 12
  • Minted choloman
    Quit Blind, it's seriously affecting your happiness. Ask yourself this question, where else do you see so many people want to retire at 35 and where else do you see so many people comparing net worth and W2s like it's the only thing that matters?

    On a separate topic, you are doing great by supporting 7 people and keeping up with your life situation. You are already 100% better than those W2 comparing, rat racing fake retirees.
    May 15 0
  • New / Other
    DuQvV7y

    New Other

    BIO
    Did stuff. Hustled hard. Retired
    DuQvV7ymore
    Your sacrifice is for the greater good.

    It will not be appreciated.

    But duty rarely needs applause.
    May 13 0
  • Google Mqaz12
    If you have a lot of non-earners in your household you should probably move to a cheaper area.
    May 12 0
  • Facebook public2
    Why so many kids? They must be awesome at least to have 7?
    May 12 5
    • Microsoft iMid86
      I don't think he meant kids. Probably parents and sisters + kids
      May 12
    • Microsoft
      Tier 1

      Microsoft

      BIO
      #1 in Prestige
      Tier 1more
      Um there’s no reason to be supporting other adults
      May 12
    • @tier 1 Huh. That's mean.
      May 12
    • Facebook public2
      Not always the case. OP my have disabled parents and social security does not provide enough monthly income to cover all expenses etc.
      May 12
    • Minted choloman
      tier1 is probably either too young too dumb, or privileged and never worried about money before, or simply not having enough empathy towards other people.
      May 15
  • Apple py1
    I know a few people who had to fix poor financial decisions by family members. It’s par the course in some cultures. It can be frustrating but do you have a plan for breaking the vicious cycle. With some planning and seeking good advice, a number of situations can be hacked. I wish you energy.
    May 12 0
  • Microsoft no-sql
    Looks like a troll
    May 12 0
  • Stripe OBaQ55
    ^maybe in India but in most developed countries it’s in the low 80s. You’re not gonna live that long though if you’re always this pessimistic
    May 12 0

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