Am I a hypocrite?
TLDR: Do you need to not do a certain thing before you are allowed to ask other people not to do it without being a hypocrite? Or is it enough to hold yourself to the same standard even if you fail sometimes, because we're all human? My partner and I both have habits that annoy each other. Both of us often snap at the other one when they do something annoying. I've requested that she try to remind me next time I annoy her instead of just snapping at me, and I'll apologise. At the same time, I hold myself to the same standard because I actually feel bad when I snap at her. She never seems to feel bad for snapping at me because she thinks it's deserved if I do anything to upset her (we were brought up differently). She accuses me of being a hypocrite. Her reason is I ask her to calmly tell me instead of snapping at me when I annoy her, but I sometimes snap at her myself when she annoys me. TC - 200k going on 400k for me, 0 for her
so annoying Tldr
Stop snapping at her first before asking her to do stop it. BTW what are your TCs?
My TC is 200k for the past year+, but going to become 400k from next month. Her TC has been 0 for years and staying 0 for at least another year.
Is that annoying?
Nobody is, just different. Try changing what bothers her and tell her it bothers you when she snaps and you don't think you deserve that. But who knows, this shit is more complicated than job offers
Surprised how many ‘you’re both hypocrites’ you got. She sounds crazy. Seemed like a level-headed ask on your part that she could use for you both to begin mending your relationship. Why would she snap even at that. Snapping back ain’t the answer but you gotta tell her being snapped at isn’t ok by you anymore
I mean at least if she doesn’t want to use your fix, let her come up with s different fix. Where the snapping at you doesn’t happen any longer...lol
My problem is I didn't set my boundaries properly at the start of the relationship, and as I'm getting older and seeing how other couples interact, I start to realise things are messed up.
“How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.” - L 6:42
I don’t understand how such little problems like this can erupt into much larger problems.
We’re humans, we can be hypocrites at times, no need to be hard on one’s self. Try to have a discipline to never snap again. Once you are able to do that, ask that she does the same and don’t accept otherwise. If you can’t stop, then just accept it and live with it and build up your tolerance or google some tips on how to deescalate when someone snaps at you, not ideal but not that bad either.
Is it not reasonable to expect both parties to work at it together? I'm quite surprised by the poll results to be honest.
You’re annoying me with this post.
Then don't vote or read it?
Hypocrite.