Am I thinking too much?

Facebook blahtihs
May 3 18 Comments

I brought up a question today (both before the meeting and during the meeting)

In the meeting, I asked the question, my manager and teammate were like "we can just do this this this and it is not a big deal".

Five minutes later, the another engineer (more senior) brought up the same question, basically repeating what I just said, and everyone is addressing that question quite seriously.

Should I do something?

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TOP 18 Comments
  • Uber
    ✅📝

    Uber

    PRE
    Facebook
    ✅📝more
    Build your reputation first. You have to increase your credibility. It takes time.
    May 3 0
  • Zillow Group Sr. Troll
    Yes grow a pair
    May 3 0
  • New / Eng
    errfileno

    New Eng

    PRE
    Microsoft
    BIO
    Senior Software Engineer. 15yoe. Seattle. ~$400k TC
    errfilenomore
    This exact thing is known to happen widely to people from underrepresented groups; you are not alone at all in this, and while people will gladly tell you what to do differently, it is not your fault.

    For those of us who DON'T often experience this behaviour targeted at them, we have the opportunity to help mitigate it if we pay attention and are willing to spend a little privilege to bring the focus back to the person who is being ignored, e.g., "that's exactly what [name] just brought up a minute ago, maybe she would like a chance to expound on it."
    May 3 0
  • New bzRF81
    Some people do it very rarely without realizing, that's ok. But once in a while there is a shitfucker that takes others' ideas and takes a few mins to understand and once he understands the idea will immediately assume he came up with it. The number is probably far lower in the FAANGS of the world than no-names. But if your team has one just be alert and as someone else here said be strategic about it (these people also tend to be far more affable than the person who actually comes up with the idea), don't lose your cool but stand up for yourself.

    Sometimes I start with a paradoxical idea and give out just the first part of it and when the fucktard repeats that I counter with the second leg of the paradox ("won't we end up with this problem if we go with that design") so people like that stay at a distance and alert. (You can also try giving away the first part offline, say, just before a meeting).
    May 3 0
  • Microsoft FromMars
    I know what OP is saying. I got that a lot. Basically it is not you. Some People don’t recognize certain type of people. Their voice will not be heard in other groups. Unless someone is conscious about this or had been educated to be conscious about it, they will make this mistake constantly. It is just that people didn’t register you much in the brain. It will get better once they recognize your contributions.
    May 3 0
  • Northrop Grumman / Eng the_curio
    Once I said we should do it like X and everyone stared at me like I was idiot. Two weeks later, someone else says he did it like X because it’s better and everyone agreed and congratulated him.
    May 3 0
  • Facebook dgcP73
    Wow I think you should say something to your manager. Be strategic about it, but I think that is bs and should be called out.
    May 3 1
    • Facebook blahtihs
      OP
      Talked with manager right after this post. I think it went well, in the sense that we addressed this bias in a good conversation.
      May 3
  • Amazon broke&dumb
    Lol that's just how the world works. Get used to it. Why do you think there are serial killers in this world? Nobody is born a serial killer. They're not monsters, they're just ahead of the curve.
    May 3 2
  • Collective Health alticcne
    Do not complain. Learn to be more confident and to support your ideas with strong evidence.
    May 3 0
  • New / Mgmt
    Trisis

    New Mgmt

    PRE
    Palo Alto Networks, FireEye
    BIO
    Cybersecurity
    Trisismore
    I don't know how anyone is answering your question with any sort of confidence. Bluntly, if the way you asked your question here is any indication of how you proposed your idea/question to the manager and team that isn't good. Details needed.

    Also, some of the responses automatically assuming fault are telling of the mindset of our society right now so eager to assume discrimination or prejudice has occurred. And in no way am I assuming there hasn't been. But there are other factors in play. Are you a new employee with not much of a track record yet? Do you have a track record of good ideas? Bad ideas? While we should all be welcoming of new ideas from anyone, the fact is in the workplace, it takes time to build a reputation of someone who is bringing something to the table. And as mentioned, is able to articulate their ideas with facts and reason.

    Bottom line, prejudice and discrimination exist. But we shouldn't all assume that those are the underlining reasons. Work takes work, and as a leader I absolutely will give weight heavily the ideas of someone who has proven themselves in the past. And frankly, I don't want someone on the team who isn't willing to compete and let their performance speak for itself. Not saying this is the case with the OP,, but again .. more details are needed.
    May 4 1
    • Oracle uu554ee
      well said. I have learnt it the hard way.
      May 9
  • Amazon silver_fox
    You’ll see this in every walk in life. Build up some rep. Don’t feel entitled to respect. Earn it.
    May 3 0
  • Intel babubhatt
    If it happens once or twice, no big deal. If it keeps happening, politely ask a clarifying question to understand how the other person’s idea is different than what you suggested.
    May 3 0
  • Pandora scrolllock
    I would complain. There are many facets to the situation, but fact is, the concerns were dismissed at first.
    May 3 0
  • Salesforce Z00FORCE
    Maybe the other engineer was more concise on the matter?
    May 3 0