Am I wrong to not want my girlfriend to party?

SAP floozer
May 5 73 Comments

She moved to a new city and is meeting new people. She is an engineer so most of her friend circle is males. She often goes with them to the beach, to parties etc and although I hate to admit it, it makes me insecure especially because she is so far now. Is it normal to feel insecure? At the same time I don’t want to tell her to spend her weekends alone without friends

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TOP 73 Comments
  • Veritas bigpoppa3
    Chad thundercock over in sales has already piped her, its too late.
    May 5 0
  • SpaceX ________
    Spoof your GPS stream to her location
    Keep left swiping until you encounter her profile
    May 5 3
    • Microsoft ccmbrwater
      Now that's insecurity
      May 5
    • Xilinx LWkj71
      ROFL. That is smart. I did that once and found the b*tch in Chicago that I was dating was on bumble.
      May 5
    • SpaceX ________
      No new science man, LTR is not for me(n)
      May 5
  • Google xrfn74
    Where did she move because this doesn’t sound like the Bay Area
    May 5 3
    • Uber GrwTrs
      LA? Tel Aviv?
      May 5
    • SAP floozer
      OP
      Italy
      May 5
    • Uber / Eng
      ABT5

      Uber Eng

      PRE
      Uber
      ABT5more
      Italy is super chill and hardly any work gets done. No wonder she is out partying all the time. Good Luck OP!!!
      May 5
  • Amazon partygal
    I'm glad I found this post today. OP, being the exact same girl, I can tell you one thing. My boyfriend and I have been in long distance for 4 of the 8 years we have been together. He's finally come to Seattle now :) I love partying and all my friends are guys . I even have partied alone and got drunk and told him stories on the phone. The sweet person that he is, he never said anything about how I told that I was blacked out, don't know how I got home etc . But I'll tell you one thing, I wish he told me and expressed that he won't like me to go. Often before leaving , I would try to gauge his reactions..I'm a very empowered woman, but I don't think it's unempowering for me to adjust to my boyfriend's insecurities ( actually let me not use that word. It is completely normal for him to feel a bit out of the loop). But yea..not saying I would have heard him 10/10 times. but most of the times . It's a bit sexy to be concerned sometimes . Just tell her your feelings irrespective of what Blind is telling you . Surprise her. If you really love her, and you have the slightest Inkling that she loves you, don't hold back your feelings :) hope you tell her. Let us know how it goes
    May 5 9
    • Google -Knight~
      Yep I had same thought . Why you putting your self in risky situations . You may be loyal but guys around may not care and try to seduce you . We all know how drinks impaire our judgements
      May 5
    • Verizon Media
      plkjgg

      Verizon Media

      PRE
      Verizon Media
      plkjggmore
      Ever seen any bf partying or getting passed out around random girl(s)? Girls often put themselves & their relationships in risky situations.
      May 5
    • Amazon partygal
      I'm glad I don't have any of you as friends :D I only have had guys as friends for as long as I can remember. No one is trying to seduce me ..also regarding risky situations .the guys are usually more drunk than I am..
      May 5
    • Google -Knight~
      Feeling is mutual
      May 5
    • Amazon etsT03
      Wow! Black out and not sure how u got home is dangerous nomatter if u r a guy or girl. If your BF does not care about that then may be he does not care that much about you.
      May 7
  • Microsoft MSFTBRO
    Oh yea it’s over
    May 5 7
    • Microsoft ccmbrwater
      I mean, his handle is MSFTBRO...
      May 5
    • Microsoft / Product
      Brazuka

      Microsoft Product

      PRE
      Bain & Company
      Brazukamore
      Hhahahahha Microsoft is a pretty great place to work actually.
      May 5
    • Verizon Media
      plkjgg

      Verizon Media

      PRE
      Verizon Media
      plkjggmore
      Microsoft people are toxic on blind. The most toxic employees on all the posts.
      May 5
    • Microsoft / Product
      Brazuka

      Microsoft Product

      PRE
      Bain & Company
      Brazukamore
      Mate, microsoft has the largest presence BY FAR on Blind. Of course you will see whatever you want to see
      May 5
    • I see a ton of toxicity from every popular company here. Mainly because angry people post the most and the popular companies have the most people...
      May 6
  • Honeywell that1guy
    This answer will tell you everything you need to know:

    Do you trust her?
    May 5 2
    • Facebook
      Mds

      Facebook

      BIO
      _
      Mdsmore
      What does this even mean? You have no idea....
      May 5
    • Verizon Media
      plkjgg

      Verizon Media

      PRE
      Verizon Media
      plkjggmore
      Honeywell guy honey coating a critical discussion that ruined the relationships of most humans.
      May 5
  • Google tormun_d
    Emded nano gyroscopic sensors to her thongs and panties and monitor readings for unusual activities.
    May 5 1
  • Amazon / Eng
    HveP82

    Amazon Eng

    PRE
    Amazon
    HveP82more
    Man up, the fu*** medieval times are long gone.
    May 5 0
  • Microsoft / Eng sonofa🍑
    Is it normal to feel insecure? ==> It's natural, given you most likely care about your relationship and worry you'll lose her.
    To tell her to spend weekends alone ==> this is the first thing that comes to mind, but don't go for the naive approach. Offer solutions on how you can spend time together, don't just prohibit things without replacing them with a better alternative.
    May 5 6
    • Microsoft / Eng sonofa🍑
      +1
      Cook together, play, create opportunities for both of you to laugh and enjoy "your time".
      Perhaps let her know, you feel this way, so she knows you care, but don't over do it. Trust is always the key for both sides, and it means a lot to know someone fully trusts you.
      May 5
    • Microsoft ccmbrwater
      +1 this is good avice. Positive attitude and showing care makes her more honest so even if she is drifting away you'd notice sooner and she won't hide it because of your insecurity
      May 5
    • 🍑, are you a gal? I like you. Let's chat.
      May 10
    • Microsoft / Eng sunofa🍑
      @udmd, I'm more of an awkward Blind dude.
      May 10
    • It's ok, I never refuse to have a new friend. I like your way of thinking, you seem to be a very kind person.
      May 10
  • Intel Who.Dis
    Just a quick FYI, if you let that insecurity drive you to control whether or not she has friends - your long distance relationship will crash quicker than a 737 Max
    May 6 0
  • Facebook public2
    She's obviously going to break up with you, wouldn't you prefer sooner rather than later?
    May 5 2
    • Verizon Media
      plkjgg

      Verizon Media

      PRE
      Verizon Media
      plkjggmore
      One possible outcome, if the "long distance" is too long.
      May 5
    • Facebook public2
      The only possible outcome.
      May 5
  • New Suits
    Long distance is difficult and trusting is even more painful. it's okay to feel insecure but what you can do is keep yourself aware. Like does she talk to you normally, does she ignore your calls? Has her behavior changed at all? And yes, you don't have to worry if it's a group of guys, I'd worry if there was just one guy she's hanging out with. 😉
    May 5 1
    • Verizon Media
      plkjgg

      Verizon Media

      PRE
      Verizon Media
      plkjggmore
      So true.
      May 5
  • Amazon wassup!
    I'm that girl. I won't cheat on you. Calm the fuck down bro !
    May 5 3
    • Google -Knight~
      Even when surrounded by hot Italians ?
      May 5
    • Verizon Media
      plkjgg

      Verizon Media

      PRE
      Verizon Media
      plkjggmore
      Lol.
      May 5
    • Amazon curetaker
      Yeah right!
      May 19
  • Microsoft U_U
    Trust her. Know that she'll come back to you after the day. If she moves on, it's her life, bad luck for you i'm sorry. You should not control her, it's her life after all. What you should do indeed is make decisions and communicate your thoughts clearly.
    May 5 2
    • New / Eng |l|l||l|l|
      If she sleeps around then comes back to OP is that fine? I think OPs concerns are valid
      May 5
    • Microsoft U_U
      It's about trust. If op doesn't trust her to not sleep around, there's no future together anyway
      May 5
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Microsoft ccmbrwater
      It's not a good idea to share your insecurity in a long distance relationship. You're already walking on glass you don't jump up and down to test it's breaking point.
      May 5
  • Verizon Media
    plkjgg

    Verizon Media

    PRE
    Verizon Media
    plkjggmore
    Start looking out. Look for a long term date locally. Do this until your "long distance" is over, gf relocates with you and the date ends with time, ...or the relationship ends and the date becomes a gf. I learned this from girls only.

    As we know from the past, majority of the girls always have a boyfriend and a male friend (~ long term date).
    May 5 0
  • Microsoft ccmbrwater
    Nothing good would come out of trying to control her but if you really worry and don't fully trust her then check on her. Usually people give subtle hints if they are upto something. Long distance is super high maintenence but if she is worth it then do the maintenance and prepare for the worst emotionally. Also, visit in person at least once every three months. That's an absolute necessity.
    May 5 0
  • Facebook / Other
    Janitorque

    Facebook Other

    BIO
    Data scientist
    Janitorquemore
    It's okay, sharing is caring.
    May 5 2
    • Nvidia bdei51
      You watch too much porn bro
      May 5
    • Facebook / Other
      Janitorque

      Facebook Other

      BIO
      Data scientist
      Janitorquemore
      Only at work. Keep my home pure.
      May 5
  • If you don’t trust her, that is a problem that you need to address ASAP.

    And if you’re thinking about telling her not to hang out with coworkers then you probably should just cut bait and save everyone future heartache.
    May 5 0
  • Oracle / IT
    l00tb0x

    Oracle IT

    PRE
    Ericsson, National Instruments
    l00tb0xmore
    1) it's normal 2) it's already done, move on.
    She left you, just didn't tell you.
    May 5 0