Any advice appreciated

The past six months have been really hard and I was hoping to get some advice. I'll be the first to say I'm not innocent and I'm not looking for sympathy. Any honest advice would be truly appreciated. I met the most perfect woman a couple years ago and started dating her. I was blown away and wanted to do all I could. I got a few job offers and we decided to move across the country and get married. I'll admit it wasn't smart, I had multiple offers and we hadn't planned to move but when I laid out the offers we decided that the extra money was too much to turn down (I was making about 100 and the local offer was 150 while the offer across the country was 200). Anyways things got bad really quickly and I always felt I couldn't do enough. We definitely married in the honeymoon phase. Anyways fast forward a year and a half and things had become absolutely awful. We both had super stressful jobs and I remember getting our tax return and seeing a number (270, I know it's not the most in tech but it's more than I ever thought I'd see) and I was living in motel 6's for three weeks. The reality that money isn't everything hit me hard, I had always thought it was and I've truly come to realize what is important and what isn't. I thought leaving the job would help as we could both take a cutback and focus on our marriage. However my wife saw it differently, she saw it as I lost a job she'd moved across the country for me for. Two weeks after leaving the job we got in a fight on the highway while I was driving and the cops got called. I got arrested for assault 4 dv. There was a no contact issued and I was lucky enough to find somewhere else to live. I'd later found out that she'd made a lot of false and untrue accusations although some where true. Then two weeks later my sister got a DUI and attempted suicide. A month and a half later my grandmother had a big stroke. I've always been a hard worker and so for the two months did all I could on the legal front (community service, mental health eval, character references from people like my ex and our couple's therapist, treatment, etc). I'll finally be done with the six month treatment in a month. After three months I was told my wife left the apartment and I was able to move back. She took everything we'd purchased together (through dating and marriage) but she did leave all my stuff from before the relationship, much to her credit. I then focused on getting a new job and was able to get four offers after two months of interviewing. I'll likely make more than I did before. I realize now though it doesn't matter at all. It's been six weeks and every day night I wake up with horrible dreams, crying, or worse just lie there. I miss my wife so much, my friends and family tell me I'm crazy and I probably am. They say I only remember the good and don't consider the negative and toxicity of the relationship rationally. The case still hasn't settled, should be soon, and (due to my wife hiring an attorney to tell the state off and the work I'd done) the outcome looks favorable. My sister is doing better and my grandmother is slowly recovering. My mother is with her and she was a nurse who retired last year so the timing worked out well. It's been the worst six months in the last 15 years since I was fifteen and lost my father and both his parents within a year. I thought I'd had my life planned out and thought I was hot shit. I thought money was everything. I realize how naive, narcissistic, and ignorant I was. I haven't heard from my wife and assume we'll be getting a divorce - reconciliation doesn't seem like something she's interested in and I can understand that. I get that I'm lucky as every week in my group I see someone break down having lost their house or not having seen their kids in years. We didn't have kids or property so things should be simple enough. Everyone around me tells me things are going to get better and that they already have but I literally feel the exact same. I don't care about the jobs, apartment, any of the crap. In any prior breakup I rebounded super quickly, I met and started dating my wife a month after my ex and I broke up, but this has been completely different. I have no interest in anyone else. I just want to fix my life and wish every time I saw a high porch I don't wanna have the urge to jump off it. I'm sure I'll get a lot of comments on here telling me what a piece of shit I am. I'm simply hoping to get anyone's advice who's been through something like this and would be willing to lend an ear and their experiences. I really appreciate it.