Anyone find it difficult to talk to people who aren’t in tech?

Uber / Eng
GYPR45

Uber Eng

PRE
Apple
GYPR45more
May 31, 2018 62 Comments

Being more specific: people struggling to meet rent or support their families, people who don’t enjoy their jobs, people who have lived in the same small town since they were born.

I’m not trying to bash or say I’m any better than anyone who matches these descriptions because of where I work. I just find it extremely hard to talk to these people without seeming like I’m bragging.

I visit my hometown and see extended family and old friends, and they always talk about how great my life must be, and how smart I must be (lol) to be in my position, and how much better California must be compared to where they are. They treat me like some God with a perfect life.

How do I respond to these things? And when they talk about money or work troubles, how am I supposed to relate? I will admit here that yes, I likely have a greater amount of security and satisfaction with my work than the majority of them, but I would never say anything like this out loud. (Again, I’m not better than them, I see myself as simply being very lucky.)

In these situations I always feel super awkward and afraid to say anything because it might make me seem like an entitled prick.

The same principle here can be applied to talking to the cleaning lady in my building, talking to my Uber driver, etc.

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TOP 62 Comments
  • Symantec Snoop Dawg
    Tell them - You are rich because you are someone's Bitch.
    May 31, 2018 7
    • Symantec Snoop Dawg
      ^this
      May 31, 2018
    • Uber lLjv00
      Were all bezos's bitch now get the fuck on amazon and buy something!
      May 31, 2018
    • Google / Eng 🍑☁️
      Try to convince them your life is hard too? Lmao they're just gonna think you're out of touch
      May 31, 2018
    • Uber lLjv00
      Yea it would be akin to trying to convince a woman that you got your job through a lot of hard work and not due to being a white male... In other words impossible
      May 31, 2018
    • PeerStreet / Other MnoGark162
      Just acquire fuck you money and you won’t be anyone’s bitch
      May 31, 2018
  • Microsoft ShippedIt
    I am waaay more comfortable talking to these people than I am taking to tech people. Maybe it's because I grew up in a poor, undereducated family / community. Tech has too many judgemental and "smarter than you" people.
    May 31, 2018 5
    • Uber / Eng
      GYPR45

      Uber Eng

      PRE
      Apple
      GYPR45more
      OP
      I think my problem is trying to avoid being the “smarter than you” person by accident.
      May 31, 2018
    • CrowdStrike WWzj13
      Limit responses to one to three words.
      May 31, 2018
    • Tinder / Eng
      meowimacat

      Tinder Eng

      PRE
      Microsoft
      BIO
      Im a cat! Meow 🐈
      meowimacatmore
      I think this response is meant to subtly judge OP...
      May 31, 2018
    • New DuQvV7
      OP is so afraid of her brilliance she can’t deign to talk to the proletariat without their dense heads exploding.

      Yup. Makes sense.

      /r/iamverysmart
      May 31, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng Am A Bot
      Honestly I like non technical people more as friends; even married one. It means that I don’t ever talk about tech trends, programming languages, leetcode or any of that stuff with them. Oh and the best part: most of them put their phones away when we hang out.
      Jun 1, 2018
  • Nordstrom / Eng
    BillSavag

    Nordstrom Eng

    PRE
    Amazon, Intel, Getty Images
    BillSavagmore
    Tc or gtfo
    May 31, 2018 1
    • Microsoft naaam
      ☝️👏
      May 31, 2018
  • New / Eng
    16a

    New Eng

    BIO
    Software engineer and college student
    16amore
    People in the service industry arent really there for small talk so I'm just polite to them, don't have to make small talk

    I agree about talking in friends and family not in the tech industry though. The thing is you don't have to find solutions for them, just try to support them emotionally
    May 31, 2018 0
  • eBay ottoman
    I find it difficult to talk to people IN tech. Just a bunch of highly compensated losers
    May 31, 2018 1
    • UBS / Eng Izdq546
      TC or GTFO
      May 31, 2018
  • Microsoft / Eng
    Wellness

    Microsoft Eng

    BIO
    Hate coding quizzes but studying hard for better future!
    Wellnessmore
    Show this Blind post to them so they know these tech people cannot even answer to original question and babble about something that is not even funny. Tell them you work with these kind of people. They will understand your hardship. Spending 8-12 hours a day in front of computer and only a few minutes of talk with these robot like people can scare them easily.
    May 31, 2018 0
  • Microsoft UMbR31
    No wonder Blind is so popular :)
    May 31, 2018 0
  • VMware / Eng
    Technique

    VMware Eng

    PRE
    Amazon
    Techniquemore
    lol yeah, and especially the ones that ask how much I make...I literally don't know how to respond to that. Either I don't tell them and they feel like I'm being a prick or I tell them and they feel bad (and that I'm bragging)
    May 31, 2018 5
    • Symantec Snoop Dawg
      lie?
      May 31, 2018
    • New YungB
      If I must, I just say six figures and let them assume the rest
      May 31, 2018
    • New DuQvV7
      If your salary is coming up in random conversation, then you know the wrong people. Or are just making shit up.

      I’ve never once been asked what I make in 22 years.
      May 31, 2018
    • New YungB
      I don’t agree. Some ask cause they are nosy assholes, others are just curious and it’s not that huge a secret between close enough friends
      May 31, 2018
    • VMware / Eng
      Technique

      VMware Eng

      PRE
      Amazon
      Techniquemore
      When you don't think relatives, friends, or acquaintances ask, I seriously question the size of your social circle.

      And yes, I lied to impress you @Snoop Dawg.
      Jun 1, 2018
  • Amazon / Eng
    Djahdhsjs

    Amazon Eng

    PRE
    IBM, Cisco
    Djahdhsjsmore
    Yeah you are better than them. There’s a hierarchy and you’re nearer to the top.

    Someday I’ll get there.
    May 31, 2018 0
  • Amazon / Eng QVHz54
    You don't have to talk about things that make you uncomfortable, especially at times when doing so would be insensitive. You can be a good friend, be empathetic towards the things they talk about, etc. without displaying how little you can relate.

    I have friends who struggle financially, have family lives they say are not satisfying, etc. I can listen to them talk about their struggles and offer support without ever bringing up my own situation. They know I don't have the same struggles and they celebrate my achievements when I share them because they care about me, the same way I care about them. They also recognize that I have struggles they don't, and they support me the way I support them - not relate, just support. You don't need to be like someone in order to like them.

    Also, by making the effort to care for people different from me, I've learned about what others value. A lot of people don't care about a job, family, house, etc. the way I do. It's fascinating to see what makes other people happy. You can learn a lot by talking to people different from you.
    May 31, 2018 0
  • Visa shaolin
    Due to the very serious nature of this topic, and deep discussion, this post is exempt from our TCYOE protocol.
    May 31, 2018 0
  • Facebook public
    Just don't be a jerk and you will be fine. You will also find many of those people are plenty happy in life with jobs you would find remedial.
    May 31, 2018 7
    • Mutual of Omaha / Eng
      NothingEsc

      Mutual of Omaha Eng

      PRE
      PayPal
      BIO
      I use blockchains to tie up Machine Learning AI’s. But only if I can 10x the synergy that I leverage via the Cloud. *First person to finish Leetcode*
      NothingEscmore
      I usually let it slide, but the word that was used doesn’t fit the sentence in any way. I was guessing the writer thought ‘menial’ in their head, but wrote ‘remedial’. Or maybe they were dictating, and Siri was being her usual mostly-deaf self...
      May 31, 2018
    • CrowdStrike WWzj13
      You’re not even right. Try urban dictionary instead of m-w.com
      May 31, 2018
    • Mutual of Omaha / Eng
      NothingEsc

      Mutual of Omaha Eng

      PRE
      PayPal
      BIO
      I use blockchains to tie up Machine Learning AI’s. But only if I can 10x the synergy that I leverage via the Cloud. *First person to finish Leetcode*
      NothingEscmore
      Given the punctuation and grammatical errors in your two (brief) posts, I’m not worried about your personal interpretation of the English language... Also, said lack of English skills leads me to believe that there’s a 100% chance that you’re 5’6”.
      May 31, 2018
    • CrowdStrike WWzj13
      I knew this place would go to shit when they added the web interface. TC or stfu.
      May 31, 2018
    • Facebook public
      Lol
      May 31, 2018
  • Google / Eng Fakir
    Just try to be genuine. When they ask about money, tell them about costs as well along with money.
    When they ask about daily problems, tell them about having to live far away, along with the facilities you get.
    In nutshell, just be genuine about pros and cons of living in CA vs at your native place.
    May 31, 2018 1
    • Facebook / Data
      YCHk03

      Facebook Data

      PRE
      Nunya Business Inc
      YCHk03more
      ^^just have some empathy.

      I’ve talked food pantry logistics w friends from back home who didn’t have enough groceries to make the next paycheck. They know I get free food at work. It doesn’t mean I’ve completely forgotten what it’s like to live there, or grow up there.
      May 31, 2018
  • Cornerstone yNAq35
    I’m also in this boat. Find myself just being quiet...and still getting asked for money.
    May 31, 2018 1
    • Glassdoor clownzie
      If you're in a boat you're not one of us. You mean a Yacht right ?
      May 31, 2018
  • Apple AriG
    Just be humble and smile
    May 31, 2018 0
  • Microsoft / Sales
    Slsjunkie

    Microsoft Sales

    PRE
    Dell
    Slsjunkiemore
    No wonder Hillary lost...
    May 31, 2018 0
  • Google / Eng Fakebook
    - what do you do?

    - I'm a chef at Google
    May 31, 2018 3
    • Novetta Solutions / Ops
      heyegsc

      Novetta Solutions Ops

      PRE
      Google
      heyegscmore
      TC or GTFO
      May 31, 2018
    • Google / Eng Fakebook
      🎄 fiddy
      May 31, 2018
    • Novetta Solutions / Ops
      heyegsc

      Novetta Solutions Ops

      PRE
      Google
      heyegscmore
      Over 9000
      May 31, 2018
  • Facebook Wokitlykei
    Lol people do the same thing here. I’ve lived in the bay my entire life, and I still get people asking me what it’s like to work at FB, as if it’s some sort of theme park. I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t even like bringing it up, because of people’s assumptions
    May 31, 2018 1
    • Facebook / Eng
      mpkfa

      Facebook Eng

      PRE
      Google, Microsoft
      mpkfamore
      To be fair, classic campus does look a bit like Disneyland.
      May 31, 2018
  • Salesforce tc400
    I’m lucky that people in my hometown think highly of the US. They think that US companies will do everything to keep their employees, including buying house and even finding a girl for me 😂 I don’t disclose my salary there because they will think it’s subpar
    May 31, 2018 1
  • Twitter / Eng
    Allinity

    Twitter Eng

    PRE
    Oracle, Facebook
    Allinitymore
    Tell them to TC or GTFO - great conversation starter
    May 31, 2018 0