Attracted to Muslim guy at work

Microsoft most glue
May 11 94 Comments

I am attracted to a Muslim guy at work, think he is from Pakistan. We are in the same larger group and he is little older and more senior than me, but we don’t work for same manager. I think he likes me too and is trying to spend more time with me at work. I am white and haven’t dated a Muslim guy before. I want to be careful because we are in the same group. Should I be worried and avoid this? Or make it easy for him to ask me out?

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TOP 94 Comments
  • Flagged by the community.

    • New bmmC14
      lol. Religion is something which is super important for Muslims as well as for Indians.
      May 11
    • F5 Networks buzz-word
      Not for me
      May 11
    • Sony q1w2e3r
      bmmC14 has a point that is still valid for a lot of people.
      May 11
    • Uber vgruvcc
      Many young indians don't give a tiny rats ass about religion.
      May 11
    • Microsoft mynameis1
      @bmmC14 Not important for most Indians in America at all.
      May 12
    • New bmmC14
      I have a ton of Indians friends. 95% of them had an arranged marriage and go to the temple. Coincidence.
      May 12
    • F5 Networks buzz-word
      You think Indians and Muslims are a disjoint set. Let me break it to you, Indians are a multicultural and multi religious society. Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, etc. all live in the subcontinent.
      May 12
    • VMware / Strategy
      acmf

      VMwareStrategy

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      acmfmore
      The question is not religion but culture. A Muslim in Pakistan won’t have the same values as one of Morocco or Syria. The same pattern applies for any religion (Christians, Hindus..). NOT all Muslims are the same: stop generalizing please. The important thing for her to know is how faith is practiced in the country he’s from, his family and environment
      May 12
    • New bmmC14
      Oh, cmon. Now somehow Syrian Muslims are worse than the ones in Pakistan.
      You’re all pretty much the same. Of course you can find more modern Muslims and it all depends on the family. But 99.9 of you will tell your future wife to convert to Islam and follow some medieval religious.
      She’s exactly stated that he’s fasting during Ramadan which means he’s in 99.9%.
      May 12
    • F5 Networks buzz-word
      BmmC14 - which religion isn’t medieval. Stop peddling hate
      May 12
  • Uber / Enghotboi
    You’re thinking too hard. Why are you even highlighting the difference of him being brown and your being white? It doesn’t matter here
    May 116
    • Microsoft most glue
      OP
      I don’t care about race. But I am nervous about religion. I hate that it worries me, but can’t help it. I am not sure he is conservative. He is fasting now for Ramadan so could he be conservative?
      May 11
    • Uber / Enghotboi
      You should ask him about it the next time you’re hanging out. Usually it’s pretty obvious if someone is super traditional.
      May 11
    • Amazon 22/7
      95% Pakistani has very strong religious foundation!
      He might be moderate at surface level but try to understand what’s in the depth of his core!
      May 11
    • Dropbox drl/
      Doesnt matter here?? Ahaha. Have you read some of the posts on this app. Racist as sh*t.
      May 11
    • VMware / Strategy
      acmf

      VMwareStrategy

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      acmfmore
      I don’t know about Pakistan but a lot of my friends are fasting Ramadan right now and they are everything but conservative (we met at Burning Man..) Definitely try to understand if his views on it, I wish you all the best !!
      May 12
    • Fasting =/= conservative
      May 12
  • Google / Eng
    GCoin

    GoogleEng

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    GCoinmore
    Depends. Among the various Muslim groups, you’ve got Pakistanis and Persians on opposite sides of the spectrum. Pakistanis typically follow Islam closely and are pretty religious whereas the Persians aren’t even sure why they are Muslim 😂
    In any case, if you want to “have a good time” with him, go for it. But if you’re thinking long term and marriage, get ready for a world of pain and frustration unless you decide to become a dedicated Muslim in which case good for you I guess.
    May 114
    • Oracle pzd
      They are not even dating, and you are talking about marriage 😆
      May 11
    • Microsoft most glue
      OP
      Right we are not dating and am not thinking about marriage. If he is traditional would he be open to something less serious .
      May 11
    • Amazon fml225
      OP - there's only one way to find out. What's the worst that's going to happen if you ask him out and he says no?

      Think about whether that would make your work interaction awkward or you don't work with him enough that it doesn't matter.
      May 12
    • Facebook / Other
      Janitorque

      FacebookOther

      BIO
      Data scientist
      Janitorquemore
      Yes, for a depressingly large number of Muslim males, tradition is upheld virtuously if you're a Muslim female, otherwise you're the other whose "honor" is not "worth preserving"
      May 12
  • Google WarrenBuff
    Stop trolling bro.

    White girl asking dating advise on blind from bunch of loser eng bros.
    Ain't happening.
    May 112
    • Uber gooberhoo
      How do we know op is a girl?
      May 11
    • Google WarrenBuff
      Good point.

      Could be gay white dude. Who wouldn't ask on blind either.
      May 11
  • Flagged by the community.

    • You’re right, I’ve met all 1.4B and can confirm
      May 11
    • Seagate toti420
      Idiot.
      May 11
    • Oracle / ITJackSparow
      Fucking bigot
      May 11
    • Microsoft mynameis1
      @Oracle Don't be politically correct. It is the truth.
      May 12
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Only reasonable answer
      May 11
    • Qualtrics ❄️IsComing
      Second that
      May 11
    • Walmart.com / Englore
      Curious - did anyone in your circle convert to Christianity, since you mentioned some converted to Islam?
      May 11
  • Symantec / Eng0xdeaf
    Op you a posting in a forum full of Indians, and Indians hate pakis. Yes I know it is a generic statement, but stereotypes exist for a reason. Of course the answers you will get are more towards no no.

    I will give you some statistics instead. Good or bad, you decide.

    I have many white women friends and many have tried to date and marry Indians. They all say the same thing, indian men will date you, but when it comes to marrying you they back off. Ask around, this is true. Indian and pakistanis are not very different in this regard.

    Again, as I say, if it has to work out it will, no matter your religion etc.

    It is ultimately between you and him. Get to know him more, you will soon know if it works for you two. He can be conservative, as long as he doesn't impose that on you, should be fine. And the only way to know this, is to know him.
    May 113
    • Lol, so true. I feel like any thread with either India or Pakistan in it quickly goes to shit with BJP trash
      May 11
    • Intel iSpyPi
      Exception: Indian guy who grew up in the US, and is atheist. Happily married to a white woman.
      May 11
    • Indians who grow up in the US are super cool and not racist at all.

      In fact it’s often amazing how different the mentalities often are between that generation and that of their parents
      May 11
  • Chase onlypjay
    Don't listen to Indians for Pakistnis, they just hate each other 😀 will never respond sensibly
    May 116
    • Microsoft / Admin❤️😛Yoni
      That's true but we are logical in our analysis too... Islam is not a religion you want to get into unless you were born into it.
      May 12
    • Chase onlypjay
      Well, all religions are stories and lot of bull, you can't isolate one in particular
      May 12
    • @Yoni I know several people at my company who converted to Islam, in fact it is the fastest growing religion (in terms of converts) in the USA.

      If you study it academically like in a university course you’ll see it’s quite different than what CNN or whatever says.
      May 12
    • Microsoft / Admin❤️😛Yoni
      I agree with you... It is the fastest growing religion and it would not be a problem if it was not for the fact that they believe that all non believers are infidels and need to be eliminated...
      May 12
    • They don’t believe that you silly goose, lol.

      If you don’t want to take a course, ask just about any practicing Muslim (I’m sure there’s a lot in your company), or look up YouTube videos by legitimate authentic Muslim scholars like Ismail Menk, Hamza Yusuf etc.
      May 12
    • Chase / Eng(o´・_・)っ
      @microsoft - no this isn't logical. You might be just hating pakistanis because of media influence.
      May 13
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Google WarrenBuff
      Fir ek bar, modi sarkar
      May 11
    • Seagate toti420
      Huh?
      May 11
    • Athenahealth xiang
      Bar bar modi sarkar!
      May 11
    • Oh boy, right-wing fundamentalist BJP circlejerk, hooray 😃 😄 😁
      May 11
    • Athenahealth xiang
      Isi baat pe ho jaye, Fir ek bar, Modi Sarkar
      May 11
    • New / Eng/ ÷
      Thanks buddy. We need moar ras!sm.
      May 11
    • Microsoft mynameis1
      Say anything but aayega toh modi hee
      May 12
  • Apple abilities
    Sorry you may get stoned to death in his country. Please stay away . I fear for your life.
    May 123
  • Microsoft / Admin❤️😛Yoni
    Run away and mark my words... You will lose all your freedom and pleasures if you stay
    May 111
    • Athenahealth xiang
      Like your username and advice !
      May 11
  • VMware / Eng
    tyxS31

    VMwareEng

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    tyxS31more
    Fasting Ramadan is not a conservative thing, it is more of a culture and tradition, communities usually get closer during the month and it's a good bonding experience, even non religious Muslims who maybe even drinking all year, will still fast in Ramadan.
    May 110
  • Oracle pzd
    Don't date work colleague.
    May 110
  • New / Engna206
    Don’t date people at the same job as you. Just don’t. There are plenty of people out there.
    May 111
    • Salesforce tensorchic
      Absolutely correct. It's just going to get so awkward esp in the off chance one of you get competitive.
      May 12
  • Chase onlypjay
    Not every Pakistani is religious, there are pretty cool Pakistani guys out there, and they take care of their women like crazy. Everyone is different individual, get to know him and hangout and see where it goes from there...
    May 114
    • You might want to add that that's the exception, not the norm (referring to everything except the 'taking care of their women' part)
      May 11
    • Chase onlypjay
      Yes many of them are stuck with religious mentality, but that doesn't make them bad people
      May 12
    • The question isn't about good or bad, but about whether someone like that would be compatible with OP, and vice versa. They may be perfectly 'good' as individuals but be disastrous when partnered with someone incompatible with their beliefs & culture..
      May 12
    • Chase onlypjay
      Yes 50% marriages fails anyways, so you never knows
      May 12
  • Intuit what!
    If you travel to Pakistan with him you will be flagged at immigration. 😀
    May 110
  • Symantec / Eng0xdeaf
    All you should be concerned about is the same group part, he from Pakistan, he being Muslim you being white these are all unnecessary details, ain't it?. Good luck.
    May 110
  • Microsoft jesus-
    Depends. If you want to be treated as his object and second citizen after him, go for it.
    May 114
    • Do you even English bro? Because you clearly have second logic.
      May 11
    • Microsoft jesus-
      I dont english but i know them
      May 11
    • Thanks, I always wondered about that, glad you interviewed 1.4B people and reported back your findings here on Blind
      May 11
    • Microsoft jesus-
      No problem cheers my mate
      May 11
  • Why r u highlighting the fact that he is Muslim ?
    May 121
    • Google / Eng
      GCoin

      GoogleEng

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      GCoinmore
      Because it makes a difference and this is true for any religion or lifestyle for that matter.
      May 12
  • Arthrex QeWE06
    Muslim guys are attached to family and culture a lot. Having fun yes they are great but if you want long term commitment, sorry move on.
    May 121
    • Google / Eng
      GCoin

      GoogleEng

      PRE
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      GCoinmore
      Islam != race
      Islam != culture
      May 12
  • Athenahealth xiang
    $1B advice, stay away or you will regret.
    May 111
    • Microsoft ISeeker
      I agree please stay away
      May 11
  • OP, I'm Pakistani and I married a white woman. When my Pakistani parents divorced each other, my Mom married a White-Latino Catholic and my Dad married a White Irish non-religious woman. Don't let the other commenters put all Pakistanis / Muslims in the same boat. If you like him and he likes you, go for it, just like you'd approach any other potential date.
    May 170
  • Chase / Eng(o´・_・)っ
    You people talk as if being Muslim is really bad!

    @bmmc14 - don't listen to some of them who clearly are going to the most -ve side. There hatred has clouded their judgement. A Muslim man can marry a Christian woman (if it ever were to go that far).

    It's fine to talk to that man and let him know how you feel. Hope he is mature enough to know how to handle a woman. Don't hesitate to talk about it. See if the man is good enough. Just because some other idiot didn't treated x or y not well, doesn't put everyone in the same boat. Don't stereotype.
    May 130
  • Nothing wrong with it but be prepared to convert into Islam if getting married .you cannot escape from that.
    May 164
    • VMware / Eng
      tyxS31

      VMwareEng

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      tyxS31more
      No, not necessarily, Muslims don't need to marry Muslims only.
      May 16
    • Oracle pzd
      Yep. Marrying Christians is allowed.
      May 17
    • I know that Muslims can marry anybody but most Muslim families ask the other person to convert into Islam . I know most people do that
      May 17
    • VMware / Eng
      tyxS31

      VMwareEng

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      tyxS31more
      And I know a lot of families that don't, it's a choice
      May 17
  • Chase / Eng(o´・_・)っ
    Copying what Oracle said. Yep. Marrying Christians is allowed.
    May 170
  • Cruise Automation OrsQ75
    ,a
    May 110

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