Women in Tech

Being the only woman in team

Amazon / Eng
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Intel
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Nov 1

My site used to be a startup that was recently acquired by Amzn. Before the acquisition they had no technical women. After the acquisition there was some extra considerations about diversity, and under that background I was hired.

Having only one technical woman, the team is very careful around me, for example they swear a lot in meetings, but when they realize I’m in the room they apologize right away. So I can see that they don’t feel comfortable around me. They go out to lunch or hang out after work for drinks and never invite me, which is understandable. However, a lot of work related discussions happen at these occasions. Decisions are made without me, and I’m only informed of changes in project direction after the fact, this even with things I proposed. Another frustration is that I think men do not want to be challenged by women in technical areas. Or, perhaps partly because men think differently, when I disagree they all seem to band together to defend each other, so my ideas never come through. I was only expected to take direction from the men and do the grunt work, even though I have just as many yoe as them.

It’s been frustrating. Does anyone have similar experience?

Previously I was at a slow moving legacy tech company where they pursued diversity aggressively. And as a result there were many women. But the guys blamed the slowness of the company on having all the women.

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  • Facebook FbT
    “Previously I was at a slow moving legacy tech company where they pursued diversity aggressively. And as a result there were many women. But the guys blamed the slowness of the company on having all the women.”
    Let me guess: Intel? 😁
    Nov 16
    • Athenahealth UrFriend
      Intel did really lower hiring bars for women . I interviewed , rejected several candidates for being dumb as fuck and they got hired . Several smart male candidates I recommended got denied .
      Nov 1
    • Facebook FbT
      I know - Intel is the example that warns others on the dangers of letting SJWs go out of control.
      Nov 1
    • Collective Health / EngObamavoter
      SJWs never learn though. What happens at intel will be swept under the rug.
      Nov 1
    • Flagged by the community.

    • Facebook FbT
      ^ not exactly. Did you know SJWs are lobbying to legalize 72 different genders?
      Nov 1
    • Intel / EngOliv
      As far as I know, Intel has increased % of women only during last ~3 years ( and only now reached the parity with market availability). Moreover, the key decision makers, MCM and certainly CEOs have been man. So.....your logic does not hold water. If Intel is moving slower then 30-40 years ago, it is not because of women, but because of mediocre men that are at all levels at Intel. You seem to be one of those mediocre men. And you are certainly a despicable chauvinist!
      Nov 11
  • Oracle / EngFigment
    “They go out to lunch or hang out after work for drinks and never invite me” - smart guys; in today’s world you never know what can get someone in trouble.
    Nov 17
    • Microsoft qpQS52
      Lol @men who just can't tell the difference between friendliness and harassment
      Nov 1
    • Oracle / EngFigment
      Its not about difference but about interpretation
      Nov 1
    • Microsoft / EngWhatsupp
      Agree, when things can turn against you and what signals you intentionally or unintentionally give, one can't control. Better to be safe then sorry. Is this what I am hearing?
      Nov 1
    • Microsoft qpQS52
      "hey we're going out to lunch, want to join?" Only a manchild incel would be afraid of how that's interpreted. Excluding someone from the team is going to be interpreted a certain way too. It will be correctly interpreted that you aren't respecting your colleague.
      Nov 1
    • Microsoft qpQS52
      Totally baffled that people think this is difficult. Like, don't take your pants off at lunch.
      Nov 1
    • Samsung cynt
      I agree with figment. I saw similar things happening in our org. People are afraid of metoo every where
      Nov 1
    • Be alone in a room with another woman. Get blackmailed for life because its her word vs yours. #metoo
      Nov 11
  • Amazon Redmondy
    In today’s episode of Blind: mediocre tech bros blaming women for their mediocrity
    Nov 14
    • Facebook FbT
      In today’s second episode: libturd @Redmondy assumes without evidence that folks on this thread are mediocre. Then ironically criticizes them for analyzing the mediocrity of diversity hires.
      Nov 1
    • Intel babubhatt
      @Redmondy must be a rerun, I think I’ve seen this one before
      Nov 1
    • Facebook FbT
      Numerous NPC reruns actually.
      Nov 1
    • Amazon Redmondy
      Wow sick burn, FbT. That was a great comeback 👍
      Nov 2
  • Workday Kpoplove
    It’s not enough to aim for a diverse team unless you also make it inclusive. Sounds like they have a ways to go. Sorry you have to deal with that :(
    Nov 10
  • New oh1
    Since this blind I will give you the truth. Because of the metoo movement, I will also exclude my female colleagues from all non essential activities.

    No offense but women brought it on themselves. Guys will be increasingly unwilling to interaction with women.
    Nov 13
    • Intel Pointless4
      “Guys will be increasingly unwilling to interaction with women”— well there goes the human race 🤣
      Nov 1
    • New oh1
      In a professional setting....
      Nov 1
    • Intel babubhatt
      So you’re saying that women - by speaking up against assault and harassment - are to blame for being excluded at work?

      Wow.
      Nov 1
  • Intel Pointless4
    I was an intern at a start up, and was told to never wear makeup or be alone in a room with anyone since I was the only woman in a company of 20. They had other interns that were guys, but made me clean the office and bathrooms in addition to tech work. Since I was an intern, I didn’t have much say to begin with so I can’t comment on them listening or not listening to my ideas.

    I’m sorry your situation is terrible :( I would look for another job, as I’m assuming HR won’t be much help ha
    Nov 15
    • Facebook FbT
      Aha! Finally someone from Intel here! That place is infested with SJWs and incompetent women hired and promoted aggressively to maintain diversity numbers.
      Nov 1
    • Intel Pointless4
      Your part of the problem. I have results that are better than every effin guy on my team, and yet because I’m a woman I’m labeled as incompetent. This is why so many women quit the tech industry as it’s so much harder to make your voice heard and have the same respect as a guy when we walk into a room.
      Nov 1
    • Intel Ia64
      I'm at Intel and male. I do see the recent uptick in hiring of women at Intel. Apparently almost all of the diversity hires for the past 2 years have been women. Now that they have met their quota, they are going after other areas of minority. So, far I'm only stating facts and no opinions of mine have been expressed.

      Now regarding the quality of the hires. As everyone who was ever in a position to hire someone is faced with multiple constraints such as how quickly the req needs to be closed, what level of work is expected from the candidate etc. Intel isn't like Amazon where there is an overarching leadership principle hiring guideline and bar raiser to ensure compatibility across orgs. Every hiring manager makes independent decisions. So, hiring managers sometimes have to make compromises based on the talent pool that is available at that moment. And most of the candidates in qualified and are some of the best available. But given the diversity push at Intel, it is possible that some sub-par candidates may have gotten in but overall I believe above average talent has been recruited. It is easy to disparage others and generalize but the reality is never that simple. SJW beliefs have no relevance to job performance IMO. Ability to work well with others is the fundamental trait. So, I'm agnostic with respect to any gender or social issues anyone sees, I only care about the individuals ability to perform in the role.
      Nov 1
    • Intel Ia64
      @Pointless4 , you can never really convince the fbTs out there of your value. If you are kicking butt, let your manager be aware of it. Set expectations clearly and define what success means to him/her and execute as per plan. Feel free to DM if you need any guidance on navigating Intel.
      Nov 1
    • Facebook FbT
      The problem is, people like @Pointless4 WOULDN’T NEED TO convince others if there wasn’t an identity-politics driven diversity push. Whether you like it or not, it’ll only get worse.
      Nov 1
  • New Hayran
    They are scared of “me too”, don’t want you to misinterpret their actions incorrectly.
    Nov 13
    • Collective Health / EngObamavoter
      Yep. Blame liberalism for that
      Nov 1
    • Intel babubhatt
      Regardless, it’s worth asking to join a few times. Plan a team happy hour yourself and invite them.
      Nov 1
    • Intel babubhatt
      Also, obamavoter (which I kind of doubt you were): liberalism didn’t cause metoo.
      Pervasive assault and harassment did.
      Nov 1
  • Intel singlecell
    You can talk with your manager directly and openly about your concerns.

    Meanwhile, pay less attention to those aspects and build your technical credibility by Showing your strength with solid work. Think through your proposals and defend them technically. You’ll earn their respect.
    Nov 10
  • This is unfortunate. I probably don’t have ideas you haven’t thought of already.. but I’ll say this; If you do find a way, you’ll be changing the work culture by whatever magnitude for all women who will work there in the time to come.

    I would also suggest reading biographies of successful women in male dominated industries for practical ideas and inspiration.

    And disregard all the numb nuts above who have blinders on.

    It’s tough, but so are you!
    Nov 10
  • Intel Magnetic
    My best friend at work is a man. Coworkers are very polite to me. We go out to lunch a few times a week.
    Nov 10
  • Intel Magnetic
    Dont worry. Maybe change company as thise guys are like high schoolers!
    Nov 10
  • Cadence WYSIWYG_
    I think it’s because they see you are different than them. It’s not necessarily because you are female. Find commonalities with your team members so they can relate to you. They drink. Do you? Do they talk about sports? Stocks? Do they play ping pong/pool? Go to gym? Jog together? Are you likeable? Are you interesting? Do you have talents outside of work? Can you provide worldly advice to them? Find ways to make them see you as one of them. Perhaps they like to play poker. Host a poker night. Then insert your technical ideas in these social events while they are busy drinking. If they disagree with your technical opinions, at least win the poker games and clear the table.
    Nov 12
    • IMO your ideas are terrible but in the right direction.

      @OP: find out what people are passionate about and if you have something in common, it’s easier to connect.
      Nov 1
    • Facebook ColinP
      The ideas are perfectly fine. Don’t impose sexist stereotypes on what women can’t do.
      Nov 11
  • You think your special because you are female. Your not. Same happens to guys that may not fit in, maybe they are fat or socially awkward. Get over the I’m female entitlement and work on general social skills.
    Nov 11
    • Intel babubhatt
      There’s special irony in this lovely post telling other people to work on THEIR social skills.
      Nov 1
  • Prosper
    Dadahound

    Prosper

    BIO
    Tall white dude
    Dadahoundmore
    Bring it up in those words at your one on ones with your manager
    Nov 110
  • Rubrik blindedog
    More importantly are you underpaid? TC or GTFO.
    Nov 10
  • Microsoft Blkman
    Find a new team
    Nov 10
  • Microsoft Uayevi
    Would your manager be open to a conversation about this? If yes, would recommend talking to him about how you can better assimilate and be an active part of decision making. It may be as much about you being new as much as it is about you being a woman. While the cause is inclusion, try focusing the conversation on outcomes (ex: business impact) as not all managers know how to effectively deal with diversity/inclusion (even the mention of it throws them into defensive mode, as you can see from comments on the thread!)
    Nov 10
  • Lending Club LcHot
    File a discrimination case and make loads of money
    Nov 10
  • Athenahealth UrFriend
    It sounds like your team has work to do to be more inclusive . Don’t hesitate to offer feedback . To your last point - I was in a company that made a big diversity push and it seemed that anyone female and an engineering degree got hired , and talent was disregarded so the quality of work suffered immensely . There’s only so many women in tech so when upper management decides to bump up the ratio of women , it can sacrifice quality .
    Nov 10
  • Microsoft Seek!
    I recently moved to a team in MS with no other women too. I have never experienced this in MS until now, but I’m going through exactly what you are. 90% of them are Chinese men and the few left are a mix. They go out for drinks but they invite me and I don’t drink and have to pick up my kids so can’t stay. They talk over me so much, and take up all the good work themselves. I feel left out most of the time. I’m looking for a new job, there is no other way out. Hope you find a better place.
    Nov 13
    • Salesforce / Eng-f
      Come to Salesforce. We are in Bellevue and from what I've seen women are treated fairly.
      Nov 1
    • Microsoft / EngWhatsupp
      @seek if you are looking for a job and a software engineer, pm me.
      Nov 1
    • Nextdoor hLoz28
      Also happy to chat if you'd be interested in Nextdoor!
      Nov 10
  • Nextdoor hLoz28
    If you're ever looking around for a new job, we'd love to have you come join us at Nextdoor!
    Nov 100

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