Relationships

Boyfriend Left Me At Night

Google Sadgirl833
Nov 30

My boyfriend of the past year came over to apartment to sleep over as he frequently does. We cuddled for a bit and then decided to go to sleep. After lying in bed for probably an hour my boyfriend wakes me up and tells me that his stomach is feeling upset, and that he wants to go back to his apt to go eat some prunes and drink water and then fall asleep on his own.

This made me very upset, I told him that we are couple, and that he can not just leave in middle of night. I suggested that I come with him, however he said that he wanted to browse internet for a bit before going to sleep, and he also did not want to get woken up at time I usually wake up, which is 8am.

Even after I told him I would have trouble falling asleep on my own, he still decided to leave me :(

What does this mean? Does he not really love me, and why is he not willing to compromise? I am very upset, is our relationship over?

comments

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  • Airbnb SeeNovom
    Yes it means that he really doesn’t love you and you’re going to die alone with 40 cats.

    Now go to sleep and when you wake up in the morning you’ll realize how ridiculous this is.
    Nov 3013
    • Amazon Jеff Bezоs
      Yes. There’s always the risk he may leave because his stomach gets upset. Maybe he farts very loudly during sleep or he was afraid he may shit the bed.
      Nov 30
    • Amazon MBQq74
      Surely this must be a joke. Women are not this pathetic.
      Nov 30
    • New ftom
      This is a pathetic Google troll. Next time handcuff your bf to your bed. Prob solved!!!
      Nov 30
    • Microsoft / Engmkay🔪
      There are needy women. I've met one that demanded to respond to her messages right away. Next day after our first date she asked where I was. I was at the gym, and she asked me to send a selfie. After I told her I'm busy she started accusing me that I'm with someone else and lying to her. She had so many issues that even her yuuuge tits didn't offset all that crap.
      Nov 30
    • Microsoft AvTC33
      Never let titties go away man
      Nov 30
    • Microsoft / Engmkay🔪
      I'm sure she had BPD. Not worth it.

      I've had another girl some time ago, she became angry that I broke up with her. When I was at work she threw raw eggs at my entrance door.
      Nov 30
    • Microsoft
      Sup007

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Live lover. Living a good life. Nature. Travel. Food. Fitness.
      Sup007more
      What’s BPD?
      5d
    • Microsoft / Engmkay🔪
      Open Google and type three letters there, first few results are what it is.
      5d
    • Microsoft
      Sup007

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Live lover. Living a good life. Nature. Travel. Food. Fitness.
      Sup007more
      What’s Google?
      5d
    • Microsoft / Engmkay🔪
      You need to go deeper. Ask Bing.
      5d
  • EY / Consultant
    stevieG

    EYConsultant

    PRE
    Mu Sigma, dunnhumby
    stevieGmore
    Dumbest thing I’ve read on internet today
    Nov 300
  • Google ReadMyName
    What kind of situation have western women gotten themselves into.
    Guy just comes to stay overnight when it pleases, “cuddles” and leaves whenever he wants with no obligations.

    Girls , dating is for few months, engagement for few more, and then comes marriage.
    If he is not that serious, he is not worth cuddling
    Nov 309
    • Airbnb SeeNovom
      Indian? I’m not aware of anywhere else that considers a few months sufficient time for dating
      Nov 30
    • Google TmplDoom
      Southerner
      Nov 30
    • Sirius XM Debwh1
      Every couple is different but I think in US culture if both people were raised here doing things that fast more frequently leads to divorce because divorce is viewed as more acceptable here. I know 5 couples who went about that fast and none of them are together now.
      Nov 30
    • Google TmplDoom
      In US, the divorce rate is anyways high. When most go through prolonged courtships.
      You also need to include couples who stayed way too long and broke up wasting precious fertile years of the woman.
      Nov 30
    • Sirius XM Debwh1
      I know it’s small sample size but everyone I know who dated and were engaged for more than a year combined and then got married are still together... some of them for more than 10 years now. In my opinion if you have a permissive culture around divorce, then the non-married part of your relationship needs to last long enough to get past the “honeymoon stage” (not the actual honeymoon) after which both people begin to truly know the other person, recognize and accept their faults, and understand how to overcome differences. A lot of people who have been together for only 6 months total haven’t even had a big disagreement yet. If you get married to someone and then learn that their idea of handling adversity is a total meltdown with no compromise, you’re screwed.
      Nov 30
    • Flagged by the community.

    • Facebook Rdfrt
      Agree. Terrible stories. A few months of "cuddling" is enough to get married. No wonder all the young assholes are always complaining about dating. They have truly made it into a game even in their 20s!
      Nov 30
    • Facebook cnnnews
      Indian?
      Nov 30
    • Facebook Rdfrt
      Nope just old fashioned.
      Nov 30
  • Amazon / EngAm A Bot
    You young pups... not just OP, but all y’all... when you’re married or seriously dating, you want the partner to help you through things. When my wife and I dated she suffered from SAD and I had to drag her from doctor to doctor until she got a diagnosis. I set up the UV lights and took care of her. When I had an episode of COPD, she cleaned my apartment, drove me to the doctor, and helped me in all other kinds of ways. We did “in sickness and in health” before marriage and were partners. My wife was also an early riser (6:30 am) and would wake me (my usual time was 10 am) so we could have a breakfast date together before the day started. So I woke up and was a bit sleepy, but she didn’t mind. And, to be fair she stayed up late with me (I go to bed around 12 am) so we could have more time together. Then she started getting droopy but I didn’t mind.

    What I think OP wants is to face life as a couple. That means going out in public together, cuddling together, and “your problem is also my problem; how can I help?”

    OP, don’t let these any of these iBozos tell you you’re crazy because a lot of good guys would want a woman who’d help them through things like that. And most of them are mature enough and ready for marriage.

    What I would do is make an alternative suggestion like having him do web surfing in bed next to you using a tablet, and you can snuggle up to him while you sleep. Ask him if he’s still wanting to go home to sleep, to do so after you’re asleep and to be quiet on the way out. The secret is the art of compromise.

    Source: I married a woman who is in most respects my opposite: personality, sleep habits, you name it. And though it’s taken work, we’ve been happily married for over 15 years now. Our recipe for success: communication, compromise, commitment, and deeply loving one another.

    Good luck.
    Nov 304
    • New / EngTTNT
      Not all relationships need to lead to marriage.

      And I’d be creeped out as hell if some girl I dated for 1-2 months started acting like she is goin to take care of me as if I was her life partner.
      Nov 30
    • Amazon / EngAm A Bot
      She said “boyfriend of the past year”. Given where we are in the year, that means around or over the 1 year mark. I know many couples who got more serious after 1 year and this would be perfectly appropriate.
      Nov 30
    • New / EngTTNT
      Ah, well then I’d agree with everything you wrote! It’s good advice!
      Nov 30
    • Amazon / EngTinyRobot
      I completely agree with your views and advice, Am A Bot.
      Nov 30
  • Google / Eng
    qEGt36

    GoogleEng

    PRE
    Bloomberg
    qEGt36more
    What? He just wants to poop alone? Why are you overthinking.
    Nov 301
    • Google Sadgirl833
      OP
      I wouldn't mind if he pooped when he is together with me. I was willing to stay up while he browsed computer at his place, I am fine to compromise. He just said no, and just left me .... :(
      Nov 30
  • Microsoft / Engtwiddling
    If you are going to troll, put a little more effort into it
    Nov 300
  • PeerStreet / Other
    KnqJ7ah

    PeerStreetOther

    PRE
    Amazon
    KnqJ7ahmore
    OP are you indian?
    Nov 306
    • Google Sadgirl833
      OP
      No I am not Indian.
      Nov 30
    • Microsoft AvTC33
      So sure are
      Nov 30
    • Amazon Jеff Bezоs
      She’s Chinese and I know the boyfriend. He suffers from IBS.
      Nov 30
    • Microsoft AvTC33
      Get a white dude
      Nov 30
    • Microsoft Ranveer
      I love that question. Every single post has it.
      Nov 30
    • Microsoft
      Sup007

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Live lover. Living a good life. Nature. Travel. Food. Fitness.
      Sup007more
      What’s IBS?
      5d
  • New / EngTTNT
    I’m a type of person that sometimes just want or need to be alone. I might have something on my mind (completely unrelated to the girl) and I want to figure it out. Sometimes I just want to physically be alone.

    When girls don’t accept that and get pushy about it - I push them away even further. There is no compromise in this. “I want to be alone.”, “Ok, I’ll come with you”, “🙃”!

    When girls simply accept it “Ok, see you!”. I end up feeling so good that she respected my space and eventually I start feeling comfortable doing my thing with her around.
    Nov 301
    • Microsoft / Eng
      LiftMore

      MicrosoftEng

      BIO
      Christian. Love Microsoft. High aspirations, low expectations.
      LiftMoremore
      Exactly. This is just a communication issue. You're both at fault. Neither is expressing their true feelings. Does he just want some alone time? Do you really care where he poops or just want reassurance he won't leave you in the future?
      Nov 30
  • AMD / EngKidology
    No, he has diarrhea and want to poop alone. He does not feel comfortable pooping all night long when you are with him.
    Nov 300
  • Amazon Dinoo
    No. He just needs some space. You are fine. Don’t overthink
    Nov 300
  • Salesforce OooLl
    This is why I don’t date girls who work at Google
    Nov 300
  • OP if this post is serious, please seek help for borderline personality disorder.
    Nov 300
  • Amazon EddieMora
    He just wants to be alone for some time, that’s totally normal and human. Give him space, don’t be clingy like that. There are no rules that tell you “couples should always sleep together” or any such thing. Couples should do whatever is working for them and is making their life better not worse.
    Nov 300
  • Amazon Nsgdbp
    He came for a booty call and left when he only got cuddles. Dump him and grow up
    Nov 300
  • Google
    JimGordon

    Google

    PRE
    Amazon
    JimGordonmore
    Is this your 20% project? Posting shit on blind, on Fridays.

    Go work.
    Nov 300
  • IBM
    84u74u4i

    IBM

    PRE
    Blue Origin
    84u74u4imore
    Have you tried pegging it could help you in this situation.
    Nov 300
  • Google Sadgirl833
    OP
    I am not a troll, this is serious. I have calmed down a bit from last night, ... but still this was very upsetting. Still have not talked to my boyfriend yet, and not sure when I will ...
    Nov 3011
    • Google Sadgirl833
      OP
      I am 30
      Nov 30
    • Google / Eng
      qEGt36

      GoogleEng

      PRE
      Bloomberg
      qEGt36more
      Not that hard to imagine now.
      Nov 30
    • Amazon / EngAm A Bot
      It’s not a maturity thing. It’s a “I thought we’re at a different stage in our relationship” thing. They need to get on the same page. Fast.
      Nov 30
    • AMD
      5nm

      AMD

      PRE
      Intel
      5nmmore
      How long have you been together?
      Nov 30
    • Google Sadgirl833
      OP
      Amd try reading first sentience of post, not just title
      Nov 30
    • Yahoo qstpf
      Most people need space sometimes. Is it that hard to understand?
      Nov 30
    • Amazon / EngAm A Bot
      It’s not hard to understand but you missed the point.

      What is important in a relationship is balancing one another’s needs. She wants him to stay. He is feeling queasy and wants to go home. Compromise: he stays until she falls asleep and leaves quietly without disturbing her.

      It’s not that hard, people. It just takes thinking about someone other than yourself.
      Dec 1
    • New / EngTTNT
      I hope Am A Bot starts a dating channel some day... He has some good and mature advice ☺️☺️
      Dec 1
    • AMD
      5nm

      AMD

      PRE
      Intel
      5nmmore
      @OP, generally speaking “of the past year” could mean any length of time in the year 2018.
      Dec 1
    • InVision Rkn56
      balancing yes, and agreed any other night that should have been the case but we don’t know what was going on that particular night. I am reading into it that he felt physically really bad (which may or may not have been the case) if I am about to shit myself I will put myself first and not care about whether my partner can’t fall asleep without me. Anyway, hope you two sort it out 🤞😊
      Dec 2
  • Uber buzzbazz
    This guy was just having bowel issues, hence his comment about prunes. You don't have anything to worry about.
    Nov 303
    • New ftom
      Do prunes help with diarrhea?
      Nov 30
    • AMD / EngKidology
      It gives more. Perhaps he has constipation and was full of intestinal gases and really needed to fart a lot. He was being respectful to her.
      Nov 30
    • Amazon / Eng6’ !Indian
      Dude wanted to grease the runway with you not being there to hear/smell it.

      Relax.
      Nov 30
  • Amazon qazwsxedc1
    TC ?
    Nov 300
  • The New York Times moony
    Aw hon don't come to Blind for relationship advice ever ever ever ever ever. Get some sleep!
    Nov 300
  • ServiceNow lilcheeto2
    Stop thinking like self centered control freak. Leave him alone and let him rest and feel better. Check up on him the following afternoon and ask how he is doing. If you can’t trust that he is telling you the truth about his own health, then why are you still with him? Please don’t get married. It will end up in divorce.
    Dec 10
  • Facebook public2
    Breakup forthcoming lol
    Nov 300
  • Verizon ⛺️pitcher
    He needed to go drop some mad bombs in the toilet and might have wanted to watch some beeg as well.
    Nov 300
  • Facebook Orwell1984
    He’s not trying to subject you to disgusting diarrhea. It’s a good sign.
    Nov 300
  • Salesforce gsjshsjsu
    Stock up on pepto-bismol
    Nov 300
  • Salesforce Nohana4
    He needed to go home to see his wife. Leave him be.
    Nov 300
  • Apple / Eng
    c94087

    AppleEng

    BIO
    Strong and built like an Ox
    c94087more
    Relationships are about compromise. If he can’t leave periodically to be alone without you worrying so much it will not work long term.

    You aren’t married and when you aren’t married there is no legal attachment (assuming you aren’t on an apt lease,etc). Basically he doesn’t owe you anything and you owe him nothing. Your relationship is “at will”. If you wish to keep things going I suggest you two talk about any concerns you both may have but please don’t always assume the worst. 🤓
    Dec 11
    • Amazon / EngAm A Bot
      Dating is to marriage what childhood is to adulthood. It lets you play around with the concepts and duties of marriage before actually committing. It’s practice for later. That’s why they are both fairly easy to start and end (unlike marriages).

      Couples who are dating should get to the point where they are treating one another *as if* they are married. If you get to that point, you’re ready and should head down to city hall or plan your dream wedding.
      Dec 1
  • Intuit Merc77
    Alpha Widow, look it up guys. She might be one.
    Nov 301
    • Microsoft / Engmkay🔪
      She's not alpha widow, she is just needy.
      Nov 30
  • You are reading a little too much into what he said. Regardless of reason, he needed some alone time. You should be a secure enough adult to be okay with that. Being with your boyfriend, spouse or partner should be effortless for both of you.
    Nov 300
  • New
    nfs

    New

    PRE
    Booking.com
    nfsmore
    A big part of a relationship (and especially in marriage) is to learn when your spouse needs some space. It could be recharging from work, from you, from life.... It doesn't matter, the important part is to allow each other to recharge in whatever way they feel like.
    Nov 300
  • Google );$gd$
    People here are being too cruel. It means he didn’t want to spend the night with you. It could be nothing or it could be a warning sign. Unfortunately we and you have no way of knowing at this time.
    Nov 300
  • NAVEX Global HollaBackG
    He may have IBS and wanted to take care of it in his own bathroom. I don’t think this means anything negative in your relationship.
    Nov 300
  • Northrop Grumman / Eng(Ω,A,μ)
    Who the fuck eats prunes?

    Don't think about it too much, you're finding signal in the noise here. It sounds like he's a little bit strange, I'd dump his ass and find someone cooler anyways.
    Nov 300
  • InVision Rkn56
    it could simply be that he felt bad about having to fart at night with you next to him and he was actually trying to be respectful. Even after years of relationship it doesn’t mean that you have to go through everything (extreme fart smells) together. I wouldn’t overthink it. If it generally upsets you that he has his own place then maybe you should talk about moving in together and see what he thinks about it. But not now while you are upset.. take some time to calm down.
    Nov 300
  • Google StringerB
    How old are you? Is this your first serious relationship?
    Nov 300
  • Procore / EngLovemyson
    Men people can be real dicks when people have real issues and want help. Men a different. I had
    Nov 302
    • Procore / EngLovemyson
      Let me finish my thought. I had the same thing happen with my wife. I wanted to go home and take naps in Sunday’s and she wanted me to nap at her house. She took it personally but all I needed was some space. I can be a little introverted at times. Done become a clingy girl. Guys HATE clingy girls. I’m not saying not to make sure your needs are met but just don’t be annoying about. Nothing drives a man away like a clingy girl. IMHO.
      Nov 30
    • Amazon / EngAm A Bot
      Intent matters here. Is her intent to spend every waking (and non waking moment with him) which is clingy? Or that he was uncomfortable, wanted to deal with it himself, and she wanted to help—but was rebuffed?
      Nov 30
  • Salesforce willforce
    Are you sure you are not wife already ?
    15h0
  • New gazm40
    You are obvi thinking about something else. Why do you think he left?
    Nov 300
  • OSIsoft exWV57
    Hopefully, this is a troll post. If not, OP has either Borderline Personality Disorder, or, Entitled Princess Disorder.
    Nov 300
  • AMD
    5nm

    AMD

    PRE
    Intel
    5nmmore
    It means that your bf felt more comfortable dealing with stomach issues at his own house. I don’t blame him I would too. It means he cares about your opinion of him and wants your respect.
    Nov 300
  • New cTqz82
    Were you on your periods ?
    Nov 300
  • Veracode / Engutaexe
    This mean you’re fake
    Nov 300
  • Symantec RGtp88
    I mean, the context of the other 364 evenings and morning are gone, so we’re literally only seeing this one transaction and offering feedback.

    That said, by your description he appears to have tried to be respectful in his request and graceful exit... has this ever happened before? How old is he? You? Has he Ever cheated? Have you? Fight history? Etc etc etc. he’s still got his own place, so assuming you’re not sharing the house full time... so “going home” doesn’t seem off base at times.

    In all likelihood, as others have said, he may just have had to poop and or felt ill and didn’t want to drop ass all night while cuddling or worse, shit the bed?

    I wouldn’t read much into it without context that leads this to be something to worry about. Also, never let him see this post as it definitely screams stage 4 clinger.
    Nov 300

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