Now go to sleep and when you wake up in the morning you’ll realize how ridiculous this is.
My boyfriend of the past year came over to apartment to sleep over as he frequently does. We cuddled for a bit and then decided to go to sleep. After lying in bed for probably an hour my boyfriend wakes me up and tells me that his stomach is feeling upset, and that he wants to go back to his apt to go eat some prunes and drink water and then fall asleep on his own.
This made me very upset, I told him that we are couple, and that he can not just leave in middle of night. I suggested that I come with him, however he said that he wanted to browse internet for a bit before going to sleep, and he also did not want to get woken up at time I usually wake up, which is 8am.
Even after I told him I would have trouble falling asleep on my own, he still decided to leave me :(
What does this mean? Does he not really love me, and why is he not willing to compromise? I am very upset, is our relationship over?
- Airbnb SeeNovomYes it means that he really doesn’t love you and you’re going to die alone with 40 cats.
Now go to sleep and when you wake up in the morning you’ll realize how ridiculous this is.
- There are needy women. I've met one that demanded to respond to her messages right away. Next day after our first date she asked where I was. I was at the gym, and she asked me to send a selfie. After I told her I'm busy she started accusing me that I'm with someone else and lying to her. She had so many issues that even her yuuuge tits didn't offset all that crap.
- Google ReadMyNameWhat kind of situation have western women gotten themselves into.
Guy just comes to stay overnight when it pleases, “cuddles” and leaves whenever he wants with no obligations.
Girls , dating is for few months, engagement for few more, and then comes marriage.
If he is not that serious, he is not worth cuddling
- I know it’s small sample size but everyone I know who dated and were engaged for more than a year combined and then got married are still together... some of them for more than 10 years now. In my opinion if you have a permissive culture around divorce, then the non-married part of your relationship needs to last long enough to get past the “honeymoon stage” (not the actual honeymoon) after which both people begin to truly know the other person, recognize and accept their faults, and understand how to overcome differences. A lot of people who have been together for only 6 months total haven’t even had a big disagreement yet. If you get married to someone and then learn that their idea of handling adversity is a total meltdown with no compromise, you’re screwed.
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- You young pups... not just OP, but all y’all... when you’re married or seriously dating, you want the partner to help you through things. When my wife and I dated she suffered from SAD and I had to drag her from doctor to doctor until she got a diagnosis. I set up the UV lights and took care of her. When I had an episode of COPD, she cleaned my apartment, drove me to the doctor, and helped me in all other kinds of ways. We did “in sickness and in health” before marriage and were partners. My wife was also an early riser (6:30 am) and would wake me (my usual time was 10 am) so we could have a breakfast date together before the day started. So I woke up and was a bit sleepy, but she didn’t mind. And, to be fair she stayed up late with me (I go to bed around 12 am) so we could have more time together. Then she started getting droopy but I didn’t mind.
What I think OP wants is to face life as a couple. That means going out in public together, cuddling together, and “your problem is also my problem; how can I help?”
OP, don’t let these any of these iBozos tell you you’re crazy because a lot of good guys would want a woman who’d help them through things like that. And most of them are mature enough and ready for marriage.
What I would do is make an alternative suggestion like having him do web surfing in bed next to you using a tablet, and you can snuggle up to him while you sleep. Ask him if he’s still wanting to go home to sleep, to do so after you’re asleep and to be quiet on the way out. The secret is the art of compromise.
Source: I married a woman who is in most respects my opposite: personality, sleep habits, you name it. And though it’s taken work, we’ve been happily married for over 15 years now. Our recipe for success: communication, compromise, commitment, and deeply loving one another.
- I’m a type of person that sometimes just want or need to be alone. I might have something on my mind (completely unrelated to the girl) and I want to figure it out. Sometimes I just want to physically be alone.
When girls don’t accept that and get pushy about it - I push them away even further. There is no compromise in this. “I want to be alone.”, “Ok, I’ll come with you”, “🙃”!
When girls simply accept it “Ok, see you!”. I end up feeling so good that she respected my space and eventually I start feeling comfortable doing my thing with her around.
- Amazon EddieMoraHe just wants to be alone for some time, that’s totally normal and human. Give him space, don’t be clingy like that. There are no rules that tell you “couples should always sleep together” or any such thing. Couples should do whatever is working for them and is making their life better not worse.
- I am not a troll, this is serious. I have calmed down a bit from last night, ... but still this was very upsetting. Still have not talked to my boyfriend yet, and not sure when I will ...
- It’s not hard to understand but you missed the point.
What is important in a relationship is balancing one another’s needs. She wants him to stay. He is feeling queasy and wants to go home. Compromise: he stays until she falls asleep and leaves quietly without disturbing her.
It’s not that hard, people. It just takes thinking about someone other than yourself.Dec 1, 20182
- balancing yes, and agreed any other night that should have been the case but we don’t know what was going on that particular night. I am reading into it that he felt physically really bad (which may or may not have been the case) if I am about to shit myself I will put myself first and not care about whether my partner can’t fall asleep without me. Anyway, hope you two sort it out 🤞😊Dec 2, 20180
- Uber buzzbazzThis guy was just having bowel issues, hence his comment about prunes. You don't have anything to worry about.
- ServiceNow lilcheeto2Stop thinking like self centered control freak. Leave him alone and let him rest and feel better. Check up on him the following afternoon and ask how he is doing. If you can’t trust that he is telling you the truth about his own health, then why are you still with him? Please don’t get married. It will end up in divorce.
- Apple / Engc94087moreRelationships are about compromise. If he can’t leave periodically to be alone without you worrying so much it will not work long term.
You aren’t married and when you aren’t married there is no legal attachment (assuming you aren’t on an apt lease,etc). Basically he doesn’t owe you anything and you owe him nothing. Your relationship is “at will”. If you wish to keep things going I suggest you two talk about any concerns you both may have but please don’t always assume the worst. 🤓
- Dating is to marriage what childhood is to adulthood. It lets you play around with the concepts and duties of marriage before actually committing. It’s practice for later. That’s why they are both fairly easy to start and end (unlike marriages).
Couples who are dating should get to the point where they are treating one another *as if* they are married. If you get to that point, you’re ready and should head down to city hall or plan your dream wedding.
- it could simply be that he felt bad about having to fart at night with you next to him and he was actually trying to be respectful. Even after years of relationship it doesn’t mean that you have to go through everything (extreme fart smells) together. I wouldn’t overthink it. If it generally upsets you that he has his own place then maybe you should talk about moving in together and see what he thinks about it. But not now while you are upset.. take some time to calm down.
- Men people can be real dicks when people have real issues and want help. Men a different. I had
- Let me finish my thought. I had the same thing happen with my wife. I wanted to go home and take naps in Sunday’s and she wanted me to nap at her house. She took it personally but all I needed was some space. I can be a little introverted at times. Done become a clingy girl. Guys HATE clingy girls. I’m not saying not to make sure your needs are met but just don’t be annoying about. Nothing drives a man away like a clingy girl. IMHO.
- Symantec RGtp88I mean, the context of the other 364 evenings and morning are gone, so we’re literally only seeing this one transaction and offering feedback.
That said, by your description he appears to have tried to be respectful in his request and graceful exit... has this ever happened before? How old is he? You? Has he Ever cheated? Have you? Fight history? Etc etc etc. he’s still got his own place, so assuming you’re not sharing the house full time... so “going home” doesn’t seem off base at times.
In all likelihood, as others have said, he may just have had to poop and or felt ill and didn’t want to drop ass all night while cuddling or worse, shit the bed?
I wouldn’t read much into it without context that leads this to be something to worry about. Also, never let him see this post as it definitely screams stage 4 clinger.