A close relative has late stage cancer, and I carry that with me in the back of my mind most days. Before this happened I was happy in life and thriving at work but as time goes on and things aren’t looking up for my family member’s health, I’m feeling more weight and stress on myself and a new quiet feeling of despair that I can’t really do anything to help them. This hasn’t really impacted my work output, but this stress plus work is taking a toll on my body. I am on 24/7 at work, come home, mentally unplug and just crash on the couch just for a breather most days. Then research therapies and trials and call doctors and stuff in my spare time. Never feel like I have enough sleep. I have young kids so this adds to the challenge, although they bring more joy into my life than most anything else. It’s still.... a lot. I wish I could be stronger for my family member and I don’t share these thoughts with them, but I feel sad and in over my head these days. I don’t know how to help make this even a little bit easier for them. I’d like to know, for those of you having gone through cancer in your close family or other tough personal situation, how did you deal with it while having a stressful job? I like my job and company, but lately I just don’t feel like dealing with other people’s bullshit. Normally I wouldn’t let it get to me but my tolerance levels are unusually low and I’m just tired. Yet, I worry that if I continue feeling this way my career will stagnate. Cancer sucks. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest, Blindmates. TC: 310k
Sorry about that.. i hope we find the cure to this disastrous disease😔
I feel like we already have but some lobbyists are preventing it from getting leaked so they can sell their expensive medicines.
Hang in there buddy. Maybe take some time off from manager. Be candid with your manager and tell what’s going with your life. Focus on what you think you will carry with you when you are old.. family relations or work success.
You seem to be a brave soul and ur reaction is natural...hang in there...power to u...hope ur relative feels better soon.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I went through this in the past. There's nothing you can do directly to save them from dying, so just accept the person is going to decline and die. You may choose to also visit the person while he/she is alive, or talk to in the phone. I personally regretted not talking more regularly with my aunt when she was dying. Also, support those closer to the person. Just a phone call, or even better, a real letter or postcards. Plan for when the person dies too. You'll release worry that way.
I’ve experienced this too. Taking time off of work to rest and take care of myself was helpful then being with that person while I was off. Therapy helps too. Cancer sucks.
First comment on blind because I went thru similar experience. Joined tech, moved away from family, when we found out we are expecting our daughter, also found out that my family member got diagnosed w stage 4 cancer. We eventually lost her after a long battle, when my kid was one. One yr later, my dad also got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, he passed away after 4 months. Life is tough and when it rains it pours. However look at your kid growing up, try to let go and accept for things thats out of your control. Some might say life goes on, but after losing two most precious family members esp. by cancer, its never the same. The lesson I learned is that you can not stop the big flow, we still can't save lives from stage 4 cancer, your time is more valuable than money. Take some PTO and visit your family, show them you love him/her. Samsung/yoe 14/way less TC than you/working mom designer
This happened to me last year. News of my moms advanced cancer took my breath away. I cried all night long. I could not function for days. I did the same as you, kept working but my emotional health suffered. I decided to spend as much time as I could with her and I also called her every day to tell her I was thinking of her and just to hear her voice. I sent her text messages too so she’d know she is loved and still needed. Now she is doing better and I think all the focus in just being there helped us both to manage the stress and is helping her find a reason to live. Don’t pretend to be strong. Show your true feelings. Call or visit often. Send texts. You’ll only regret not having done these things. You will feel better with every call and every visit. Do it often!
Sorry to hear that. Given how competitive is Facebook it must be really hard to keep up at work with problems in personal life. Hopefully you have enough cushion to take some break from work otherwise be strong, everything in life is transient, time will put things into places ;)
This happens to me. My grandma, my dad and mom are diagnosed with cancer in 2014, 2015 and 2018, and I lost my grandma and dad. It really hit me hard that I almost depressed for a while. There are days I was just doing nothing. I feel my life was doomed that all these bad luck fell on me, no matter how hard I try. Being a cancer patient's family, I saw them turn from normal people to not able to run to not able to walk to not able to stand to not able to sit to not able to talk. It happens so fast. It is a real torture for the patient and the family. When my dad died, it is a weird feeling that although I hope this day never come, I actually feel relieved because I dont want to see him suffer any more. Luckily, I am blessed with a newly born baby at that time. He really bring joy to the family in the darkest time. I dont know if I could survive that without my kid. Now I really appreciate the moments I spend with my family. I will go for vacations, amusement parks, or just have small parties. Those things that will create good memories. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, life is fragile. Be with your family when you still can.
I’m so sorry you’d to go thru that. Stay strong, bro/sis.
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