Yo, so, was a Dev, top uni, struggled in uni too, cuz my class of 300 had 4 females. I developed a freaky attitude after uni,, where I get depressed, hopeless and give-up, ... Anyways I survived all undergrad, got into top startups in SF, Amazon, etc. But I was told I asked too many questions, and instead of mentoring me, they made me feel incompetent. So much that I'm scared to apply for a Dev job. I had to "Taylor" my job exp to cater design and finally switched into being a ux designer. Only to realize that design is widely disrespected compared to engineering. It's not as intellectually challenging for me. I don't even know what like anymore. Actually with depression, I lost all passion. Use to love singing and arts. But now I have stress& depression related body illnesses: ulcer, vasivogal synpse, hair loss, slight insomnia, huge lack of motivation for anything, (I'm 25, female) frequently questioning if I want to die. Don't worry, I care to much about my parents to die. I'm finding it hard to see the purpose in life. I see other people's motivation, I understand it, but it doesn't motivate me.
Edit: yes I have gone to therapists, not helpful at all.
Edit: don't comment anymore. I'm considering deleting this post.
- Facebook 👨🏻💻👨🏻💻I’ve been here. Before you can figure out what you want to do professionally, you want to make sure you’re healthy and in a good mental state. Have you tried going to the doctor (in case this is a hormonal disorder? My sister has depression brought on by one and it caused sucidial ideation too)? Or a therapist? It’s hard to be motivated, work hard, etc while depressed. Damn near impossible sometimes. I’d start there. You’re very young and have lots of time to try new things and figure out a career (I worked in two completely different industries before landing in tech and in my 30s am still discovering what will ultimately make me happy to do). Don’t feel pressured to figure it all out right this moment. Also: never stop asking questions - that’s how you learn. The places that want to mute you are not the places you want to work for.
- Roku ❄️❄️❄️❄️Don’t let anyone bully you. Do what you like and don’t ever change your profession to escape anyone or any situation. I can’t seem to figure out what could be the possible problem, but feel free to DM me if you need a mentor.
- Microsoft / EngsudоI've read your post multiple times trying to understand where is the promised discrimination.
Me: the only female in a team of 14 devs. Similar picture during my school years, but that's a supply problem, not discrimination. Been a front end dev initially after school, didn't like it much and switched to back end now.
From your post, it seems like you care too much about what people say to you. You ask too many questions, so what? Continue asking them. Well, be reasonable with those, but don't take such comments as a personal offence.
If you don't like design because it's disrespected - you've got it wrong. If you're good at it, you'll gain all the respect you deserve. If you really feel it's no fun, then pick up something new. Try small things, so you can feel what brings you joy. Not too many people know exactly from the start what they like the most. Neither it's always built on a pure passion. Six days a week I love my job, but there is often one day when I just wish I had a shotgun to fix all the pilled up problems.
Of course all of the above after you get your 8hrs of sleep, healthy diet and exercise.
- Twitch yusernameCareer advice: If ppl don't like you asking questions, then don't ask. Ask questions to Google. Google will never mind.
I have seen that ppl might get annoyed by someone asking basic level questions. I would say ask basic questions to Google and then ask more advance level questions to your colleagues. In that case they would feel that you have done your homework.
About none career related advice: I am not the right person to talk about that.
- Well... If it's how to use a tool then Google is your friend. If it is applications related then get the info from your team, so that means research existing, check data and then ask questions. Could get OP skipped to asking questions and I don't like it when someone tries that on me because it means they don't want to learn - they want to be given an assignment like in school.Mar 41
- I think you are simply in the wrong job/position. Look for a different job where the pace is slower and you can get yourself grounded better. Once you get some work experience and confidence you can try again with the current employer. Right now, focus on doing your best while looking for a new job.
Alternatively, find a mentor at the current company asap.
- Abbott techtaktoemoreDitto on above - Exercise, Rest, Meditate, Check w Experts.
That said, might I add consider volunteer work in whatever field or area that catches your fancy. Ideally something that takes you far away from the same type of people you meet at work, ie coding for jobless or kids, art or singing groups, etc.
This sometimes helps to "reboot" me when I'm in a slippery slope downhill... All the best.