Co-worker who constantly brags

Microsoft Monetary
Sep 22 28 Comments

I have a co-worker, Indian, early 30s recently joined Microsoft. His profile isn’t that great infact its tier 2 terms of companies he has worked in past, college. But he constantly brags about offers he had from Facebook, Tesla and couple of other firms. How big his project was in his previous company , his new car, house etc. Everyone in the team knows this and avoids him over lunch etc, so far his work has been average too, so manager also believes he needs more experience at his level.

The challenge is that he has been put onto the same project as mine and now even though I don’t want to talk to him but I have to talk to him for work and he comes across as know it all, he would hear a word and jump onto conversation as if he knows in & out. I have cross questioned him couple of times and his information seems incorrect. How do I deal with this person without sounding mean?

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 28 Comments
  • Amazon not done !
    Why did u mention his nationality and age ?
    Sep 22 14
    • Amazon bcif84ju7u
      “culture has nothing to do with personality" - have you seen chinese tourists?
      Sep 22
    • Microsoft / Eng
      I'mIronMan

      Microsoft Eng

      PRE
      Facebook
      I'mIronManmore
      I know of one arrogant and rude Chinese guy, is that a reflection of Chinese culture?
      Sep 22
    • Actually Indians are also taught to some extent to let work speak for itself.. probably less than Chinese where I have seen them to be more silent but Indians will fall somewhere between American and Chinese. It all boils down to schooling in my opinion. Western education gives lots of importance to individuality and selling oneself where as eastern education is more head down and let result speak for itself. I am not advocating either but just style each one as adopted based on socio economic needs. Now as far as India is concerned north and south India are very different in terms of conduct and style. North Indians are very enterprising and quite outgoing. As you move toward south the more subtle personality traits get. Btw I am from central part of India which is a mix of both.
      Sep 22
    • Having said that I do want to mention to op I have seen bragging outrageous and absolutely impossible to work with personalities in every nationality and ohh yes Chinese too. In fact some Chinese co workers I worked with were outright rude. But I have also worked with wonderful people from all nationalities including Chinese who have a lot of common things with Indians. So calling out nationality in my opinion is somewhat unnecessary and just creates unwanted tension.
      Sep 22
    • Cadence / Eng
      pretzle

      Cadence Eng

      PRE
      Intel Corporation
      pretzlemore
      Your colleague suffers from Napoleon Syndrome. Can happen to any anyone - regardless of race, age, gender.

      It's funny, had OP not added the race, it's eventually bound to come up.
      Sep 23
  • Google kpdI0
    For a real answer; this behavior stems from insecurity. Make him feel valued on the team for the work he’s currently doing, and he’ll stop trying to validate himself from the past or unrelated work. Remember, you’re teammates. Help him.
    Sep 22 4
    • LinkedIn bvdvsajgsd
      What if OP doesn't want to put effort into "being the better person", and just wants the asshat out of his way?
      Sep 22
    • Microsoft Monetary
      OP
      That’s indeed very true this behavior comes from insecurity.
      Sep 22
    • Airbnb / R&D lli1ilii
      You seem to be a great teammate. Even better if you are a manager.
      Sep 22
    • Microsoft wtfdudes
      Great attitude and suggestions. In addition to ops potential reluctance to be the mature person, there is also the possibility that the persons insecurity is quite deep rooted (at 30 talking about minor things doesn’t exactly sound well adjusted) and not easily assuaged.

      Still id say having this awareness, and discounting such behavior (growing a thicker skin) if not directly supporting the person in feeling better adjusted, is definitely the way to go.
      Sep 22
  • LinkedIn bvdvsajgsd
    Just start blaming anything that goes wrong on him. The problem would soon solve itself
    Sep 22 0
  • Walmart
    jhim

    Walmart

    PRE
    Google
    jhimmore
    Bragging is a sign of weakness, bragging helps him feel superior. He brags about new Car ,home etc to say he earns more than the rest. Bigger project , offer from FB to say he is technically the smartest cookie.

    Easiest way I've learn to deal with ppl like this is to , let them come and ask me explcitly when they need something or any help with anything. never willingly forthcoming with anything they would need. Always let my manager know about what help was lent.

    There were cases when , the person would turn back and say " I exactly had this in my mind thanks for confirming" , pissed me off to no end. So , make it amply clear you are helping them. My dealing with the rest of the folks in the team was so different, few of these braggers toned down, some started hating me, some bad-mouthed me. I genuinely helped going out of my way when the person truly wanted to learn and asked for help or very forthcoming with what they didn't know, I learnt a lot along with these folks. Unfortunately , some are smart and brag( I just tolerated them because that was their ego fix and they got the work done) but majority are just brag to hide their defeciences, never tolerate these omniscient gods.

    Very interesting story , we were discussing one of the important but complex of projects to be completed by a person call him xyz. a bragging team member ended up saying it was very easy and he had some similar assignments and gave some vague but wise sounding ideas to xyz on how to do it. I immediately changed assignments and told xyz to stand down and take all the work this bragger was doing and give him this new task, he had claimed 2 weeks was sufficient,I gave him 4 weeks. He finished it to my happiness eventually working his bottoms off but never again spoke out of turn in meetings.

    Another of the guy in the team who had the habit of bragging, who would always say to team members how he had so many offers from big guys etc , resigned. Released him within a couple of hours of him resigning. Never asked him where he was going or how could I retain him. Just shook hand and told him all the best for his new job at some really big company. Sure , he learned a lesson that day .
    Sep 22 2
    • Netflix Ryanboss
      Wow look at you, teaching all those lessons. Good stuff.
      Sep 22
    • The Krazy Coupon Lady / Eng ${user.id}
      Awesome reply!
      Sep 23
  • Davey leetRabbit
    divide your work and just ignore him when he brags.. happened to me where one apple contractor from Wipro was acting as if he was actually from Apple lol.
    Sep 22 0
  • New Tempter
    You should motivate him to brag more, so that you can laugh after office hours.
    Sep 22 0
  • Apple
    TWB-gold

    Apple

    BIO
    Software engineer
    TWB-goldmore
    You know what I would do? I would pull him aside and be like “hey, do you realize that you’re bragging a lot? And that it’s making me feel uncomfortable? Can you brag less?”
    Sep 22 0
  • Cadence / Eng
    pretzle

    Cadence Eng

    PRE
    Intel Corporation
    pretzlemore
    Case of Napoleon syndrome.
    Sep 23 0

Salary
Comparison

    Real time salary information from verified employees