I have a co-worker, Indian, early 30s recently joined Microsoft. His profile isn’t that great infact its tier 2 terms of companies he has worked in past, college. But he constantly brags about offers he had from Facebook, Tesla and couple of other firms. How big his project was in his previous company , his new car, house etc. Everyone in the team knows this and avoids him over lunch etc, so far his work has been average too, so manager also believes he needs more experience at his level. The challenge is that he has been put onto the same project as mine and now even though I don’t want to talk to him but I have to talk to him for work and he comes across as know it all, he would hear a word and jump onto conversation as if he knows in & out. I have cross questioned him couple of times and his information seems incorrect. How do I deal with this person without sounding mean?
Why did u mention his nationality and age ?
I wanted to understand if there is any cultural aspect to it, I can’t grant this behavior as fresh out of college. I want to highlight that he is a mature adult.
Maturity is understanding culture has nothing to do with personality. You will see best and worst from all kinds of cultures
For a real answer; this behavior stems from insecurity. Make him feel valued on the team for the work he’s currently doing, and he’ll stop trying to validate himself from the past or unrelated work. Remember, you’re teammates. Help him.
divide your work and just ignore him when he brags.. happened to me where one apple contractor from Wipro was acting as if he was actually from Apple lol.
You should motivate him to brag more, so that you can laugh after office hours.
You know what I would do? I would pull him aside and be like “hey, do you realize that you’re bragging a lot? And that it’s making me feel uncomfortable? Can you brag less?”
Bragging is a sign of weakness, bragging helps him feel superior. He brags about new Car ,home etc to say he earns more than the rest. Bigger project , offer from FB to say he is technically the smartest cookie. Easiest way I've learn to deal with ppl like this is to , let them come and ask me explcitly when they need something or any help with anything. never willingly forthcoming with anything they would need. Always let my manager know about what help was lent. There were cases when , the person would turn back and say " I exactly had this in my mind thanks for confirming" , pissed me off to no end. So , make it amply clear you are helping them. My dealing with the rest of the folks in the team was so different, few of these braggers toned down, some started hating me, some bad-mouthed me. I genuinely helped going out of my way when the person truly wanted to learn and asked for help or very forthcoming with what they didn't know, I learnt a lot along with these folks. Unfortunately , some are smart and brag( I just tolerated them because that was their ego fix and they got the work done) but majority are just brag to hide their defeciences, never tolerate these omniscient gods. Very interesting story , we were discussing one of the important but complex of projects to be completed by a person call him xyz. a bragging team member ended up saying it was very easy and he had some similar assignments and gave some vague but wise sounding ideas to xyz on how to do it. I immediately changed assignments and told xyz to stand down and take all the work this bragger was doing and give him this new task, he had claimed 2 weeks was sufficient,I gave him 4 weeks. He finished it to my happiness eventually working his bottoms off but never again spoke out of turn in meetings. Another of the guy in the team who had the habit of bragging, who would always say to team members how he had so many offers from big guys etc , resigned. Released him within a couple of hours of him resigning. Never asked him where he was going or how could I retain him. Just shook hand and told him all the best for his new job at some really big company. Sure , he learned a lesson that day .
Wow look at you, teaching all those lessons. Good stuff.
Awesome reply!
Case of Napoleon syndrome.
Just start blaming anything that goes wrong on him. The problem would soon solve itself