Comparing myself to others demotivates me how do I stop?

Amazon / Eng
Ghyxdahghh

Amazon Eng

PRE
IBM
Ghyxdahghhmore
Jun 15, 2018 27 Comments

Friend just passed Google HC and is doing team match for fall internship. I have been tryna grind leetcode for future interviews after I start amazon but I feel demotivated now.

What do I do? I’ve blocked my social media so I don’t see his gloating but I still remember how much of a failure I am for never getting HC.

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 27 Comments
  • Pinterest Impressed
    Whether you’re for real or a troll, this is a topic a lot of naturally competitive people can relate to (myself included). It’s truly humbling to see how much outward-facing “success” can be a result of chance (luck, right-place-right-time, network, etc.). I eventually figured out that the truly most impressive people I’ve worked with didn’t necessarily start at the highest pedigree places. But the one thing they all had in common is that they crushed it where they worked and everyone they knew who changed jobs, would love to take them along (and would go out on a limb as a reference). So that’s what I strive for - crushing it wherever I go (and I’ve been to quite a few places now) and continuing to see the invites and open doors. Everything else is always a little out of your control.
    Jun 15, 2018 3
    • Amazon / Eng
      Ghyxdahghh

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      IBM
      Ghyxdahghhmore
      OP
      For real.

      I feel like I’ve done that for the last 8 years though HS and undergrad. Still nothing came out of it :(
      Jun 15, 2018
    • Pinterest Impressed
      Same happened to me. 4.0 GPA from top undergrad school. Don’t worry, you’ll feel the compounding power of the work you put in. The strong resume you built in school will get coupled with the strong work experience and referrals, and you’ll beat the competition any day. After ~3 years in the workforce, I was able to get offers where I wanted. I’ve actually been able to find out that the brand names I was trying to reach didn’t matter as much as the people and opportunities. I’ve been working for ~8 years now and the hardest part is turning down opts from ex colleagues. Keep your head down and keep crushing it.
      Jun 15, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng
      Ghyxdahghh

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      IBM
      Ghyxdahghhmore
      OP
      You didn’t start at Pinterest? Where’d you start?
      Jun 15, 2018
  • If you define your happiness and success in life to a job or particular company you need to reevaluate your life. More important things than a job.
    Jun 15, 2018 1
    • Amazon / Eng
      Ghyxdahghh

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      IBM
      Ghyxdahghhmore
      OP
      I’ve lived in shame for too long. I can’t have anything nice :(
      Jun 15, 2018
  • Amazon / Eng
    Hooliganss

    Amazon Eng

    BIO
    AWS
    Hooliganssmore
    Bro, you’re in a top 10 company. Millions or even billions would kill to be where you are. Take a step back and breath. If you started off where you are now, you’ve already done better than 99% of people. You have your whole life to climb a handful of companies, if that’s truly how you define your happiness.
    Jun 15, 2018 3
    • Amazon / Eng
      Ghyxdahghh

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      IBM
      Ghyxdahghhmore
      OP
      Yeah but I’m now quantifiable worse than him and I can’t accept that after teaching him so much
      Jun 15, 2018
    • Lyft sunkcosts
      This is a life lesson for you.
      See what skills your friend has that pushes them forward. It doesn't have to be hard.
      For example I know someone from college who I am a much better engineer than, but he is very good at getting others to do his work and copying moved of other people.
      He's probably worth 5x me now. That is because his skills are genuinely 5x worth mine.
      Being smart and an engineer and a teacher etc. are overrated and fending for yourself in a complex world requires so much more
      Jun 15, 2018
    • Amazon / Eng
      Ghyxdahghh

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      IBM
      Ghyxdahghhmore
      OP
      I taught him some of those skills and they aren’t any multiple.
      Jun 15, 2018
  • Oath Karjsks
    You need to get out of your bubble and see just how good you really have it. Volunteer in a homeless shelter. Work with underprivileged or special needs kids. Travel to countries and regions where the economy is struggling. Talk with some people working minimum wage jobs, doing physical labor, or working three jobs to pay the bills. These folks would gladly switch places with you, but they don’t have the education and good fortune to be able to work at Amazon in an air conditioned office where you get paid to sit in a chair all day.
    Find a hobby, a non engineering hobby where you meet people that aren’t working at tech companies. There is a whole other world out there. Build relationships, get a pet, find a purpose
    Jun 15, 2018 2
    • Amazon / Eng
      Ghyxdahghh

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      IBM
      Ghyxdahghhmore
      OP
      This is irrelevant to my question about improving myself
      Jun 15, 2018
    • Atlassian rvGk43
      It’s about perspective. You feel like you’re less than your friend because your perspective is that you’re not good enough and you don’t have enough. Open your mind and perspective to the fact that you’re actually already crushing it at Amazon and that your friend may have the “better” job but is he crushing it?
      Jun 15, 2018
  • Pinterest Pboy
    If you are into this comparison thingy then you have to be the best, else you can never be happy. So start by comparing yourself to your CEO instead of your friend. In the end you will be in one of these three states: 1. Successful 2. Depressed - you think your life is shit 3. Realization that this is just a man made corporate ladder and there are lot of things to enjoy in this short life and be thankful with what you have.
    Jun 15, 2018 0
  • Amazon / Eng sde3
    5'6 Indian syndrome?
    Jun 15, 2018 0
  • Microsoft HaroldShum
    Step 1. Get off Blind immediately.
    Jun 15, 2018 2
    • Pinterest Pboy
      Why? People are suggesting good things right?
      Jun 15, 2018
    • Microsoft HaroldShum
      It’s the other threads I’m referring to. More than 1/2 this forum is people comparing themselves to others.
      Jun 15, 2018
  • Amazon / Mgmt good_bad
    "Nothing came of it" - dude. Dude. You work at Amazon. As an engineer. Meaning you make more money than 90% of Americans and 99% of the world. You are the 1% without realizing it. And you don't have to do manual labor or physically strenuous or dangerous work. Be self-aware and thank God for that every day. Then realize the world is bigger than you and be happy for the success of your friend too, it's his journey, congratulate him and wish him well, no need to benchmark against him.
    Jun 15, 2018 0
  • Microsoft Id729!&2
    Why would you compare yourself to others? They don’t have the same story as you do. They didn’t have the same interviewers as you did. They didn’t get asked the same questions. We all know great and stupid people working at FANG. You should only ever benchmark against yourself and make sure you are improving.

    Also don’t believe what you read on the internet.
    Jun 15, 2018 0
  • As others said it's about perspective instead of comparing yourself to your friend, volunteer and see what it's like to be really struggling and underprivileged in the US and then if that doesn't make you feel like you're not doing too bad then nothing will.
    Jun 15, 2018 2
    • Amazon / Eng
      Ghyxdahghh

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      IBM
      Ghyxdahghhmore
      OP
      Isn’t that still comparing?
      Jun 15, 2018
    • be thankful you're in a better place than 99% of people in world and yes it is comparing but your focus is off.
      Jun 16, 2018
  • Twitter Bit505
    Lol. Your friend is happy because he's in one of the biggest corporations in the world. Nothing special about Google, it's a job with lots of people thinking they're the shit. (And yes I've had offer from them in the past, never been rejected).
    Jun 15, 2018 1
    • Amazon / Eng
      Ghyxdahghh

      Amazon Eng

      PRE
      IBM
      Ghyxdahghhmore
      OP
      He doesn’t have it yet please read
      Jun 15, 2018
  • Veritas -_-_-
    You are stuck in the classic - If - then syndrome.Happiness doesn’t come from external factors like job,money or house ,it’s a state of being despite all those things.If you are clever enough to compete for a job at Google ,you would can perhaps work out how to live a happy life as a human being ? https://youtu.be/JyJC1sH3ODc
    Jun 16, 2018 0
  • Cry. Cry at your desk.
    Jun 15, 2018 0