Friend just passed Google HC and is doing team match for fall internship. I have been tryna grind leetcode for future interviews after I start amazon but I feel demotivated now. What do I do? I’ve blocked my social media so I don’t see his gloating but I still remember how much of a failure I am for never getting HC.
Whether you’re for real or a troll, this is a topic a lot of naturally competitive people can relate to (myself included). It’s truly humbling to see how much outward-facing “success” can be a result of chance (luck, right-place-right-time, network, etc.). I eventually figured out that the truly most impressive people I’ve worked with didn’t necessarily start at the highest pedigree places. But the one thing they all had in common is that they crushed it where they worked and everyone they knew who changed jobs, would love to take them along (and would go out on a limb as a reference). So that’s what I strive for - crushing it wherever I go (and I’ve been to quite a few places now) and continuing to see the invites and open doors. Everything else is always a little out of your control.
For real. I feel like I’ve done that for the last 8 years though HS and undergrad. Still nothing came out of it :(
Same happened to me. 4.0 GPA from top undergrad school. Don’t worry, you’ll feel the compounding power of the work you put in. The strong resume you built in school will get coupled with the strong work experience and referrals, and you’ll beat the competition any day. After ~3 years in the workforce, I was able to get offers where I wanted. I’ve actually been able to find out that the brand names I was trying to reach didn’t matter as much as the people and opportunities. I’ve been working for ~8 years now and the hardest part is turning down opts from ex colleagues. Keep your head down and keep crushing it.
Cry. Cry at your desk.
5'6 Indian syndrome?
You need to get out of your bubble and see just how good you really have it. Volunteer in a homeless shelter. Work with underprivileged or special needs kids. Travel to countries and regions where the economy is struggling. Talk with some people working minimum wage jobs, doing physical labor, or working three jobs to pay the bills. These folks would gladly switch places with you, but they don’t have the education and good fortune to be able to work at Amazon in an air conditioned office where you get paid to sit in a chair all day. Find a hobby, a non engineering hobby where you meet people that aren’t working at tech companies. There is a whole other world out there. Build relationships, get a pet, find a purpose
This is irrelevant to my question about improving myself
It’s about perspective. You feel like you’re less than your friend because your perspective is that you’re not good enough and you don’t have enough. Open your mind and perspective to the fact that you’re actually already crushing it at Amazon and that your friend may have the “better” job but is he crushing it?
Bro, you’re in a top 10 company. Millions or even billions would kill to be where you are. Take a step back and breath. If you started off where you are now, you’ve already done better than 99% of people. You have your whole life to climb a handful of companies, if that’s truly how you define your happiness.
Yeah but I’m now quantifiable worse than him and I can’t accept that after teaching him so much
This is a life lesson for you. See what skills your friend has that pushes them forward. It doesn't have to be hard. For example I know someone from college who I am a much better engineer than, but he is very good at getting others to do his work and copying moved of other people. He's probably worth 5x me now. That is because his skills are genuinely 5x worth mine. Being smart and an engineer and a teacher etc. are overrated and fending for yourself in a complex world requires so much more
If you are into this comparison thingy then you have to be the best, else you can never be happy. So start by comparing yourself to your CEO instead of your friend. In the end you will be in one of these three states: 1. Successful 2. Depressed - you think your life is shit 3. Realization that this is just a man made corporate ladder and there are lot of things to enjoy in this short life and be thankful with what you have.
"Nothing came of it" - dude. Dude. You work at Amazon. As an engineer. Meaning you make more money than 90% of Americans and 99% of the world. You are the 1% without realizing it. And you don't have to do manual labor or physically strenuous or dangerous work. Be self-aware and thank God for that every day. Then realize the world is bigger than you and be happy for the success of your friend too, it's his journey, congratulate him and wish him well, no need to benchmark against him.
Step 1. Get off Blind immediately.
Why would you compare yourself to others? They don’t have the same story as you do. They didn’t have the same interviewers as you did. They didn’t get asked the same questions. We all know great and stupid people working at FANG. You should only ever benchmark against yourself and make sure you are improving. Also don’t believe what you read on the internet.
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If you define your happiness and success in life to a job or particular company you need to reevaluate your life. More important things than a job.
I’ve lived in shame for too long. I can’t have anything nice :(