Told my manager I was leaving. In a moment of weakness, I also unloaded, I mean really vented to him about an extremely unpleasant co worker. It was a foolish move in hindsight. Now that co worker's manager (another employee, and that co-worker's close friend) has suddenly set up a meeting for "feedback" on that employee. Not sure what to tell him. I don't want this to become a thing and honestly just want to gtfo. I didn't realize it would go beyond my boss. Tc:250
And that's one of the reasons to not be honest when leaving. I would ignore the meeting. Maybe make it clear you won't ever meet with them, maybe just ghost them until you are gone, tough call.
Avoid the meeting if you can. Else, keep your cool in the meeting and if the manager asks anything about the coworker, say you would rather not talk about it. What you told your manager was between you and him and this shouldn’t have gone to the other manager.
Can't avoid the meeting, but yes I think this is the only way - by stating to him that I don't want to talk about it, and any perception of friction was standard project stuff and that I'm just looking to move on. That will cause the least damage from hereon I guess.
If they didn't care to ask you while you were there then it doesn't matter after you leave. You're basically giving free advice.... They should've figured this out months before you left or gave notice Don't burn bridges. Decline the meetings and move on
Why would complaining about a colleague burn the bridge?
Cuz it should have been done a long time ago not in a venting scenario. It shows low EQ on the OP. When bad things happen, nip it in the bud not after everything unravels.
I don’t think it was foolish if you were genuine in your criticism about the other person. You have no obligation to meet with the other manager. If you were comfortable sharing this information with your manager but uncomfortable sharing it with others, then state that to the other manager and politely decline to meet about it.
This!
Decline the meeting. Say you’re too busy “transitioning”. Go about your merry way.
“you’re” for “your”...that’s a first one 😁
Pleas the 5th. There’s a lot of that going around nowadays..
Are you a sheep to be scared? If you did something earlier, own it. Don't put your sentiments in it, but just have a fact based dialogue in this meeting. You can also say that this is less about complain, but more about an opportunity for coaching and help the target employee to improve so that he can grow as well as others around don't suffer like you did. Do the right thing, and right things will follow you!!!
Yes - one in a big city.
I'm really surprised with all the advice to not talk to the other manager. Do you have any useful feedback to offer or do you simply not like the coworker on a personal level? If you have any useful feedback then you should share it with the intent of hopefully helping the coworker become more effective, less of a jerk, etc. If you simply don't like the person because they have a super annoying laugh or whatever then just tell the manager that there's not really an issue. The coworker simply gets under your skin but it's just a clash of personalities and that other people seem to get along fine with him/her so you don't want to make a big deal out of it. My suspicion is that there are some valuable lessons in all the venting that you did so that's why your manager decided to tell the coworker's manager. You should use the opportunity of the other manager's interest in getting your feedback to try to help that coworker be more likable/effective. Since you're about to leave, you don't have to worry about things becoming awkward for more than a week so just frame the feedback in a constructive way and share it.
Agree with FB, take the meeting but frame it in a more constructive matter over being a hothead. You can can express that they could improve in specific areas.
Finally a reasonable answer on a human level and not like the other answers that try to find politics and process everywhere and only look in how they can benefit themselves.
I read you stating you can’t avoid the meeting, but I bet you can. You know, life happens and things do come up. Especially when one is transitioning. It’s also too bad if previous meetings would run late for some reason, such as important conversations that required catching up after the original slot.
Why would you care while leaving?
Small world. Reputations spread. Don't want to be that guy.
The world is bigger than you think