Relationships

Continuing a conversation with a girl on a common topic on Tinder?

Amazon / Engneighbormo
5d

I met a girl in person (then a few weeks later matched on Tinder) who happens to work in a field I think is crazy fucking cool (HPC/computational genomics). The problem is I don’t know much about her other than this job that we first talked about and she basically has nothing in her bio or profile pics. How would you continue the convo? Should I ask about work again (which feels super dry)?

I’m the worst at conversations on these things without feeling awkward as fuck, help pls!

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  • Microsoft
    Tier 1

    Microsoft

    BIO
    #1 in Prestige
    Tier 1more
    Just ask to meet up irl
    5d11
    • Cisco / Designambiguous
      It’s Tinder...
      5d
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      I mean, yeah but I don’t even know what she likes to do.

      All of the questions I come up with seem like they’re too probing tbh (what keeps you busy outside of work...etc etc)
      5d
    • Microsoft / Eng
      MP3

      MicrosoftEng

      BIO
      Troll living under the I-5 overpass
      MP3more
      Dude... That’s the reason you meet. Go for coffee/drink on a Thursday at 8pm and see what she’s like in person, see if there is any chemistry between you, get to know her.

      Dating should be exciting, natural and fun, otherwise why would you bother doing it? Compared to that texting back and fourth information is boring af.
      5d
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      I mean we’ve met before (sat next to each other on a 2 hr train ride) and talked a bit then. I think she’s super cool (no idea if she thinks I am tho!). with that said I guess she didn’t have any real reason to match me back otherwise but still.

      I’d like to continue it a little bit more before I take the plunge.
      5d
    • Microsoft / Eng
      MP3

      MicrosoftEng

      BIO
      Troll living under the I-5 overpass
      MP3more
      🤦‍♂️. Dude you’ve met before, meet again. Why are you wasting time? Would you seriously rather finger a screen than be in her company having a good time at a jazz cafe or craft brewery or whatever? Mini golf bar?

      She giving you her time that means she is currently interested. For how long? Stop boring her to death and go play bowling and do something fun together. You’ll have your chance to nerd out. I swear to god I feel like my 13yo bro has more game than you.

      Watch “40-Year-Old Virgin” and reflect on life ASAP.
      5d
    • New / Consultant
      keef

      NewConsultant

      PRE
      Morningstar, Bloomberg
      keefmore
      Don't over think it OP. Yes maybe chat for a bit but don't be indecisive. If your worried she might say no, then what's the harm in asking her to just meetup
      5d
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      She ended up responding to my message a day later before I was about to restart the conversation. She does seem super cool, but I am afraid I’m not attractive enough for her to take seriously if I ask her out for coffee or whatever.
      4d
    • Microsoft kncc
      Ask anyway ! What have you got to lose ?!
      4d
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      Like I said we connected on LinkedIn so idk feels more awk than it should
      4d
    • Microsoft / Eng
      MP3

      MicrosoftEng

      BIO
      Troll living under the I-5 overpass
      MP3more
      It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.
      3d
  • Amazon / EngChad🕶
    Just give her your number and set up a date to grab drinks or go on a picnic or something. Girls love picnics. But man the fuck up. You've already met her in person and obviously messed up by not getting her number the first time around. Get the fuck off tinder and meet up with her in real life. Why waste your time shooting the breeze with her on tinder?
    5d9
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      I’m too beta to get a girls number after talking to her for ~40 minutes. I got her LinkedIn instead (she accepted an hour later)

      But you’re right point taken.
      5d
    • Evernote mjkx
      wtf... you got her linkedin?!
      5d
    • Evernote mjkx
      you ASKED for her linkedin?!
      5d
    • Adobe warabi
      Bahahah!! By asking for her LinkedIn, you've put yourself into a professional context instead of a personal one. That's the last thing you want to do. Good Lord. Just all whether she likes X, and then ask her if she'd like to go meet up for X. Done
      5d
    • Amazon what¿
      Tinder, train ride, linked in...

      OP 10 step plan is just warming up next is her Instagram, Facebook, and Whatsapp... and that is how he gets the number .

      She is interested already. If you take too long, you will bore her. Just meet up
      4d
    • Amazon / EngChad🕶
      By thinking you're too beta to ask a girl for her number, you've already lost. The fact that she was talking to you, and now based on the fact that she swiped right on you after talking to you in person, she obviously is interested in you and would love for you to ask her for her number and do something in person together. If you don't, she'll assume you're not interested in her and move on to another guy who was willing to ask her a simple question. So you better just fucking do it. It's guaranteed that she'll want to go on a date. She won't say no if you just ask. Even just going to an ice cream shop or anything simple like that is a great first date, assuming they like ice cream.
      4d
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      I mean, we were talking about our work so it was relevant.

      But yes, I’ll take your advice
      4d
    • Clover Health / Engdoenfh
      Please stop labelling yourself as a beta. It's a misnomer. You're just more shy than some.
      4d
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      I’m just being self deprecating. You’re right.
      4d
  • Uber
    🌴

    Uber

    PRE
    Uber
    🌴 more
    TC, ethnicity, height, and what’s your attractiveness on scale of 1-10? Answer will differ depending on this
    5d4
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      $150k, indian born near DC (same for her oddly), 5’8 (she’s like 5’1), 4-6/10 on a very good day. She’s closer to being an 8/10, she’s very cute and an athlete. The problem is she goes to a top school that’s male dominated so my competition is..rough.
      4d
    • Uber
      🌴

      Uber

      PRE
      Uber
      🌴 more
      That’s tough but not impossible, look up McLovin and do what he did
      4d
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      That was a movie
      3d
    • Uber
      🌴

      Uber

      PRE
      Uber
      🌴 more
      3d
  • Clover Health / Engdoenfh
    Ask her about hobbies, where she grew up, what her dreams and goals are in life. Follow up from there. Wait for her to ask about yours.

    Nothing makes me feel better than someone taking an interest in my thoughts and feelings.
    5d3
    • Microsoft / Engdeadpan
      Sage advice right here.

      OP, are you listening?
      4d
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      I don’t even know how to broach the topics of “dreams and goals” on tinder chat lmao
      4d
    • Clover Health / Engdoenfh
      I would save that for later in the conversations, and potentially a date. Start with the others.
      4d
  • Amazon / EngBoto
    Nerds
    5d1
  • Apple GlFP12
    What does she like to do when not working, what’s on her bucket list, does she like to travel? Does she have any trips planned? Where does she want to go? Why? Fav food? Then take her out! Go play bocce ball, Dave and busters, axe throwing, cooking class, go out to dinner (and you pay). If she doesn’t pay on 3rd date then move on
    5d4
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      Should I literally just ask “what are you up to when you’re not working?”
      5d
    • Cisco / Enghello12346
      I agree with dave and busters!
      5d
    • Microsoft / Engdeadpan
      "What do you do for fun?"
      4d
    • Apple GlFP12
      Literally ask her “what do you like to do when you’re not working” - don’t overthink
      4d
  • Tell her you enjoyed her company on the train, and ask if she wants to meet up.
    5d4
  • Pinger / Engcreate💻
    Do you like bread?
    5d2
  • Apple GtCI06
    You almost got me. But... “convo”....
    5d4
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      Convo?
      5d
    • Apple GtCI06
      Read you own post. It’s hilarious, believe me
      4d
    • Amazon / Engneighbormo
      OP
      I know but I’m a beta Indian male :(
      4d
    • Clover Health / Engdoenfh
      There's no such thing as an alpha, don't worry.
      4d

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