Dating 101 Etiquette

New / Mgmt LOVE22
Aug 13, 2018 23 Comments

Alrighty, lovely Blind community - I ask, what is the proper etiquette in today's culture of dating to let the other person know if you are interested or not after the first date?

And if not interested, do you just not respond back or do you lend the courtesy in letting them know either way?

On a side note, I f'ing hate dating, draining. (rant over)

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TOP 23 Comments
  • If somebody took the trouble of letting me know, that person would earn my respect. My 2 cents.
    Aug 13, 2018 0
  • Google mfj
    iโ€™ve ghosted and been ghosted many times. seems to be the norm now
    Aug 13, 2018 1
    • New / Mgmt LOVE22
      OP
      Yeah, I hear ya.
      Aug 13, 2018
  • Axtria ๐Ÿ’—69
    I always let the other person know, after the first date, if I want to see him for a second date or not. In the latter case, I always tell him that I would be happy to stay friends (unless he was an ahole ofcourse which is rare).

    Just basic human courtesy. Not a good idea to let someone speculate what's going on in your mind.
    Aug 13, 2018 7
    • New / Mgmt LOVE22
      OP
      Thank you I thought the same and similar mindset as you.

      Was on a date yesterday w/this gal and just so odd that people don't have basic courtesy.
      Aug 13, 2018
    • Axtria ๐Ÿ’—69
      Yes, you should inform her. Never hurts to be kind.
      Aug 13, 2018
    • New / Mgmt LOVE22
      OP
      You mean she should inform me :)

      It's all good, I've done dumb/inconsiderate things in my younger years. Just expect more from people of similar age now.
      Aug 13, 2018
    • Aon Hewitt rundmc
      What's a nice way of saying it?
      Aug 14, 2018
    • Axtria ๐Ÿ’—69
      @Aon, I am not sure if it's is a good way, but this is how I say it:

      "Hey X, it was great to see you today. Thanks for taking the time to come and meet me. I didn't feel the connection I expected so I would pass a second date. But you are a great guy X and I will be happy to stay friends with you ๐Ÿ™‚."

      OR

      "Hey X, it was great to see you today. Thanks for taking the time to come and meet me. X, I really enjoyed talking to you and would like to know you more. Would you be willing to catch up for dinner this weekend? No pressure ๐Ÿ™‚"
      Aug 14, 2018
    • Uber / Eng
      meowimacat

      Uber Eng

      BIO
      Im a cat ๐Ÿˆ! Meowww...
      meowimacatmore
      In those situations where you pass, how often do the guys stay friends?
      Aug 14, 2018
    • Axtria ๐Ÿ’—69
      In my experience, about a third of the guys I refuse continue to stay friends with me and talk occasionally.
      Aug 14, 2018
  • Kronos / Other 76
    For some folks who have low emotional intelligence, anything but ghosting is an opportunity for negotiation. In some circumstances these individuals resort to immature behavior and then start making petty insults like "Well you were really too fat anyway so no big loss". Or demanding feedback about "what they can do better" only to have that feedback challenged on every point. Evenif that only happens 1 out 5 times, who wants to deal with that.
    Aug 13, 2018 1
  • Amazon 199991
    If things go well both of you will know itโ€™s heading to a second date
    Aug 13, 2018 1
  • Microsoft cOmC27
    It depends for guys it's quite easy to be honest but for girls it's always dicey as they might not want to have any interaction at times and being courtesy with many they might invite unnecessary trouble so one should be smart enough to read the signs
    Aug 13, 2018 0
  • Comcast OCsQ88
    Etiquette Scmeriquette! Just be yourself and donโ€™t be a dick... once youโ€™re in a relationship do you want to have to continue existing in some arbitrary template of behavior, or just continue being yourself? I think the latter is easier and obviously more genuine.
    Aug 18, 2018 0
  • Atlassian / Eng
    Luffy, M.D

    Atlassian Eng

    PRE
    Facebook
    BIO
    A prematurely grumpy somewhat old man
    Luffy, M.Dmore
    If you're interested, ask them out again. If you're not, don't, and if they ask you be frank that you're not interested.
    Aug 16, 2018 0
  • New / Mgmt LOVE22
    OP
    Various way to deliver this news. Point being, just communicate the best way possible especially if the other person attempts to contact you after the first date instead of 'ghosting'

    w/Peace & Love
    Aug 14, 2018 0
  • Microsoft ujrY04
    I just say that the Hiring Committee didnโ€™t think that it was a good fit.
    Aug 14, 2018 0
  • U.S. Department of Veterans Affa / Other SFnurse
    Insist to split the bill on the first date if you absolutely have no interest. If they message you, say you want to be friends. If you are actually interested, say something along the line of it was nice hanging out letโ€™s do it again sometimes in the future.
    Aug 14, 2018 0
  • Genentech tiRm45
    Omg date his co worker and move on. Let it be a death match.
    Aug 14, 2018 0
  • Amazon / Eng 6โ€™ !Indian
    In a perfect world, yes weโ€™d openly communicate, with no repercussions. Weโ€™d even have a post Morten to discuss how we each could improve for the future. But that isnโ€™t happening. Yes it would be nice if you โ€œgot closureโ€, people were polite, or showed courtesy. But I prefer to believe that no one owes you anything. Donโ€™t owe you a reason or a response. It should be pretty clear if there will be a second date. Move on.
    Aug 14, 2018 0

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