I just moved to the Bay Area. I heard that dating is tough here and Asian guys are usually unwanted. Any dating advice for Asian guys around here? Like what kind of girls, what kinds of activities, where we should look for girlfriends? Should we have any standards at all? Serious question so no jokes plz. This is more for Asian Americans not immigrants btw.
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- Download tinder. Swipe right. If you really need more help, pay for match or eharmony
- Statistics are your friend. If what you say is true, it won’t be 100% of girls. There will be asian girls and girls of all nationalities who have a ‘thing’ for asian guys. Some even smaller subset of those girls will also be chubby chasers (if you are a bit hefty). Just saying, there’s someone for everyone. Get some nice photos lined up and swipe right 1000 times and see what happens..
- You should go to a place called the Power Exchange. It’s a place for singles who are new to the city find love.
- Is dating here really that hard or it's just how people make excuses? What makes it so hard?
- I noticed that tech workers have low social status regardless of their salary so right there is a ding. Also I think Asian guys have a naturally harder time fitting America’s version of an appealing guy. I’ve been told that ABC guys should mostly consider first generation immigrants but first generation immigrants also look down on ABC guys because they know they couldnt find a girl among their own kind, it’s a double whammy
- The point I'm trying to make is that if there is a problem with flirting or making a woman laugh, this problem will persist anywhere. It's not specific to the bay area.
Somehow you need to step up in your game, like picking up interesting hobbies, being more social, taking improv classes, hitting a gym, changing a style or simply acting more confident. I'm pretty sure you know that already though.
Also, looking at girls differently might help. Many of my friends fall for perfect looking type while missing out on many great potential dates around them.
- Bro quit attributing everything to your ethnicity. I'm Asian and have had no problems, with girls of any ethnicity (more Asians than not, but that's pretty expected). My advice is to not overthink this. Focus on your work and your hobbies. When someone comes into your life then that'll be a nice surprise.
- I'll share my hobbies but I hope u don't use them to get girls. The whole point is to take your mind off it. Just do ur own thang man. I like hiking, making music, exploring new places, any kind of sport/gym. If u really want to know, I've dated girls I met at work, in the classroom, volunteering, orchestra, formal events, or just the girl next door. Ppl come into my life every few months or so, but mostly when I'm in a new situation where there are new ppl (new job, new travelling group, new classes, new tennis group, etc)
- New / Eng GolDRogermore1) Practice, practice, practice and if you have any social anxiety, work on squashing it. You will miss 100% of the passes you don't make. If you even have a 1% success rate, if you talk to 100 girls, you will get one of them to say yes. If your work has a toastmasters, the same skills that they teach are also helpful for talking to girls.
2) Get outside the tech bubble. The tech bubble is a sausage fest, no matter what your race, so women inside are (A) few in number, (B) justifiably on guard about how they're treated, and (C) if they're halfway attractive are going to get hit on a lot because of A and despite B. There are TONS of women in the Bay Area, and the gender balance isn't nearly as bad as it sounds because there are also tons of gay dudes and not nearly as many gay women.
2) Dress well for the type of girls you like, and keep in mind that different groups will have different preferences -- more about where they hang out and age and social class than race. This and keeping your hair up, and not having bad hygiene are the biggest things you can effect about your appearance, so make sure to keep them up. Also keep in mind you can meet girls anywhere so don't be like only thinking to dress well going out (except maybe at work, between the sausage fest that most tech companies are and #metoo and even there, you'd be amazed at how many like support staff and stuff there are at big companies, and a cute front desk lady is not going to be anywhere near your management chain as a techie.)
4) Learn to write well. You are already ahead given that your post comes across as literate, but seriously if you look at Match etc being able to write about yourself and not sound like an idiot will put you will be ahead of 90% of the guys on there in that respect. You may not look as good as many but how many girlfriends do you need?
5) Get some good photos taken. If you don't have a friend who is a photographer (and fuck, it's got to be like one of the top 5 hobbies around here, you probably do) just pay someone. If you have some female friends, ask which ones they like. If you don't have some female friends, find some. Seriously, they will be your best source in how to represent yourself while dating.
6) Try a bunch of online sites. Some are free, Match isn't too expensive, and just be prepare to work for a while. It's kind of a weird way to meet people, but it does work once you're used to it.
7) This one is very Bay Area specific, but be open to the geography. This is a seriously spread out area, and your dating prospects are a ton better if you aren't just like "you gotta be in 10 minutes of SoMa" or wherever you're living.
- Facebook ±8675309If you're straight Chinese male, you'll have more luck with Chinese women in settings where people speak Chinese. They're more traditional.