Dating advice

Google mPuV41
Jan 3, 2018 44 Comments

Mid-twenties female. Never dated before.

Turned down everyone before because the idea of dating never came to mind.

Thinking that I should try out dating now. Any advice?

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TOP 44 Comments
  • Microsoft Happy
    Wow. You must have been seriously focused on your career to have never dated before.

    Dating oftentimes takes up enormous amounts of time, especially if you find someone you really like. You might also find that you don't care as much about anything else if you get smitten.

    Don't get physical too fast because it will likely cloud your judgement about the true attributes of the guy you're with. In addition, some jerks will lose interest as soon as they have their "conquest" with you.

    Any guy worth having a long term relationship with you will be respectful of whatever pace you're comfortable with so don't rush into physical intimacy. A short kiss should be sufficient to let them know you do like them more than friends.

    Good luck! You'll need lots of it because a lot of people will put on their best behavior for the first few dates at least and it may take months to really get to know anyone for who they really are.

    All that said, dating can also be really exciting... like a rollercoaster: sometimes scary, sometimes fun, and sometimes makes you want to puke.
    Jan 3, 2018 7
    • Google mPuV4D
      Great advice! Thanks
      Jan 3, 2018
    • Microsoft 🔪 k
      1. Who said she is looking long term relationship.
      2. I personally stop any communication with a girl if there's no sex by third date.
      Jan 3, 2018
    • Microsoft Happy
      I'm assuming she wants to date to get practice for a long term relationship. She hasn't had sufficient interest in dating before this point so I doubt she just wants to bang a bunch of dudes to add notches to her belt.

      If you stop communicating with a woman after 3 dates with no sex then you're probably not long term dating material at this stage in your life so if I'm right about her wanting a long term relationship then you wouldn't be a good fit for her.

      Of course, I could totally be wrong about why she wants to date.
      Jan 3, 2018
    • New UTzr53
      I my experience any long term dating without physical interaction is abusing one side of the relationship.
      Jan 3, 2018
    • Airbnb FOOMO
      For me... if a girl refuses a makeout on the first date there’s no second date.
      Jan 3, 2018
    • Microsoft Happy
      I'm not saying withhold physical intimacy indefinitely. I'm just warning that once you have sex your body is going to experience a new level of chemical attraction that can easily cloud your judgement of how good of a match that other person really is.

      Hold hands and kiss but hold off sex if you can a bit longer. If the other person really likes you then they can wait more than 3 dates for sex.
      Jan 3, 2018
    • Microsoft 🔪 k
      I only had LTR relationships. 3rd date rule is to avoid women who use sex as a manipulation. If two people attracted to each other they want sex. Third date should be enough to make a decision whether you want to commit or stop interaction.

      It's like interviewing, when you have screening + full loop. Any other BS like homework assignment or too many rounds should be refused.
      Jan 4, 2018
  • Google ocSN81
    What’s your level and TC?
    Jan 3, 2018 3
    • Google mPuV4D
      How is that relevant
      Jan 3, 2018
    • Google ocSN81
      I mean that’s some data to gather right
      Jan 3, 2018
    • Google mPuV4D
      I am on swe ladder. Believe that my Tc is above the 50 percentile
      Jan 3, 2018
  • Intel / Eng pleb
    Nope. Too late. Start acquiring cats.
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • Zillow Group hYtJ18
    It's a trap.
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • Microsoft / Eng pplks
    a trap
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • Airbnb FOOMO
    “Never came to mind” are you asexual?
    Jan 3, 2018 4
    • Google mPuV41
      OP
      No. I am pretty sure I am heterosexual. I just thought I wanted to focus on my life instead of dating
      Jan 3, 2018
    • Flagged by the community.

    • Google mPuV4D
      I like handsome guys in Korean drama
      Jan 3, 2018
    • VMware / Eng nonamehere
      Stop being creepy foomo
      Jan 3, 2018
  • Microsoft vishnu
    Bullshit
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • New UTzr53
    Are you a virgin? Serious question.
    Jan 3, 2018 3
    • Microsoft / Eng Charmie
      There are young Chinese guys on my team I believe to be virgins. I don't know for sure (just suspicion) but they are from China and very quiet nice guys. The type that are always willing to help out.
      Jan 3, 2018
    • New UTzr53
      Yeah but op is a female with a low sex drive. She hasn’t bothered dating cos of work. Which means that she doesn’t want to have sex yet wants to go dating so I’m wondering how she imagines dating someone will be.

      That’s my current assumption about op. Her sex drive is low but she wants to try dating now. Something just doesn’t add up.
      Jan 3, 2018
    • Google mPuV4D
      Yes. I am. I didn't know what to expect in a relationship anyways.
      Jan 3, 2018
  • CoreLogic / Product
    Asiandude

    CoreLogic Product

    BIO
    Product Manager
    Asiandudemore
    Nopenopenope
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • Microsoft Duxe82
    Your ethnicity please. It matters. Indian, Asian, white or others?
    Jan 3, 2018 2
    • Google mPuV41
      OP
      Asian
      Jan 3, 2018
    • Amazon 123raj
      @mPuV41 you got good SMV then
      Jan 4, 2018
  • Apple StYE24
    I would suggest using a dating app, I would suggest coffee meets Baguls. You could also try tinder or bumble but they seem to be more about hook ups.

    The nice thing about dating apps is that it is very clear you are on a date. Go slow and take your time. Message me if you want more direct advice
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • Amazon Canadian
    Here's a serious piece - dating is only as good as the person on the other end. Be extremely vary about people and pick only people you are comfortable around(don't base everything on looks or how people talk) - guy who's made many many dating mistakes
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • SurveyMonkey / Eng Aytyijhddr
    Start looking now. IMO you should be with someone for a good few years before taking next steps like marriage and kids so the earlier you start the better. Don’t wanna be having kids too late yeeerdamean?
    Jan 3, 2018 1
    • VMware / Eng nonamehere
      If she even wants kids?
      Jan 3, 2018
  • Akamai Technologies / Other Gigi🧜🏼‍♀
    Don’t do it! It only leads to heartache.
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • SAP le - a
    DM me 😉
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • New / Product
    zeekerton

    New Product

    PRE
    Amazon
    BIO
    Hi!
    zeekertonmore
    Hey OP I was in a similar position. Focused heavily on my career instead. In retrospect, I did have some regret. If you want to eventually get married and have a family, you should consider starting to date. Doesn’t mean you have to use tinder - you can try bumble, coffee meets bagel, or even ask your friends to set you up. It may be a little awkward for you at first but the only way to improve and learn what you want out of a partner and ultimately your life is to learn by trial and error. Get out there! If it’s confidence you’re lacking, there are plenty of ways to overcome. It’s really nice to have a significant other, and unless you give it a shot you’ll never know whether it’s something you want. Good luck!
    Jan 3, 2018 1
    • Amazon DabOfRanch
      I'm in the same boat but I'm brown, a dude, ugly, and work at Amazon
      Jan 3, 2018
  • Google zxpq#🎃
    It's a good idea if you find good people :) good luck
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • Amazon / Eng
    Sherlocck

    Amazon Eng

    BIO
    Lol
    Sherlocckmore
    Not worth it
    Jan 3, 2018 0
  • SAP Cushion
    Trap.. still mPuB41 will be bombarded with PMs 😂😂
    Jan 3, 2018 1
    • Google mPuV4D
      It's not a trap. And that didn't happen
      Jan 4, 2018
  • Amazon / Other crossdrs
    Lol
    Jan 15, 2018 0
  • Microsoft NoodleZ
    Troll
    Jan 4, 2018 0
  • Starbucks rockstar99
    If you’re at all interested in having your friends find you someone instead of looking for yourself, try http://meddle.co
    Jan 3, 2018 0

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