Dating and possibly marrying Aupair
Been dating a Chinese aupair for a year now, really sweet and ambitious. Planning to marry her around may next year when her J1 visa expires, I am on h1b so she will be h4 later on Wanted to know if anybody went through similar life situation and want to share/give any advice. Future-wise she may not be working in tech world, i am fine too even if she doesn’t work and take care of family. But she is a hustler will find something decent on h4 ead ...as she says always. I plan to retire in late forties/early fifties, 52 max. I see us spending half and half of our retirement life in Shanghai and Mumbai. Her parents are very helpful and has given word for possible helping hand as she is their only child. Planning to buy 1M town home soon in bay area, I have enough down payment in savings. I am buying thinking of only single income. I don’t see myself getting green card here, queues are too long for India..unless regulations change. Sincere advices please, for trolls 247tc in Aapl, not at yahoo anymore.
If you marry her your eb green card shortens as the priority date is with hers
I am kinda in a similar situation rn, just way younger than you; I guess. Based on my experiences dating a Chinese,(not sure if it applies to applies to all Chinese), 1)she might get a bit too possessive. That mean s limited interaction with your female friends on social media, in real life. This was kinda new to me. 2)you are expected to foot majority of the expense. Tread very carefully here, as Chinese girls especially from big cities like Shanghai, Beijing, Guangzhou have expensive/finer tastes. 3)you need to step up your clothing/dressing game. 4) you need to be clean and keep the house clean. Nothing pisses a Chinese girl more than a dirty home. 5) her family won't accept you readily. The older generation are not very welcoming of foreigners (exception being white). 6) you need to spend a lot of quality time with her, which might affect your other aspirations. 7) they usually want babies before 28-30 age. This would vary according to the person though I guess. So be ready for that. 8) they fight hard. Really hard. 9) they show a lot of affection, make sure to reciprocate it equally if not more. 10) Congrats for your marriage decision, let me know how it goes/ if you have any advie lol. 11) Consider yourself lucky. Most Chinese girls hate indians; absolutely detest them. You must have something which attracts her so much to overcome this prejudice. set a good example of us indians in front of her. We need to change their perception of us being creepy slowly one person at a time with our own example.
6 is a bummer. If you don't want to spend quality time with your fiance you are not ready for marriage
Thanks for detailed reply I shared screenshot and she is like none of these are applicable to her 😂 For point 2, she always want to pay for dinner dates but I never allow her as her pay is low
Does she do house work, considering she's shanghainese? Not advice. I'm just curious.
She is not supposed to do any household chores unrelated to the baby.
She won't pay and she won't do housework. So why do you want her? Aren't men and women equal? Are you going to do the chores then? No offense. If any advice, think about what you are getting out of this marriage.
Congratulations on upcoming life changes. It is unclear what advice you are looking for.
Advice from people who are aware of encounters like mine. How did it work out? Am I putting myself up for too much wrt single income in bay area? Is it advisable to be only dependent on one job security which can go awry in next recession that may come in 1,3,5,7,10,15 years?
1)Also how old are you? 2) Retiring in Shanghai is kinda hard, it's fucking expensive, equal to New York, if not more.
I m 27, she is 23 She has a condo nearby Shanghai Not planning to stay there full time after retirement, 8months ..4 months split. Just a plan atm
Congrats !I don’t see any issues here .My best friend in grad school Was from China.Outside India I think I have found most in common with Chinese women but have never dated any . Don’t know what advice you want but I think she must really like you .Its not like she couldn’t marry any Chinese/American dude
there is some gotcha with J-1 visa when it comes to green card application iirc
OP: congrats! How did you meet her?
OkCupid Fact that you can send one msg without match is your key 🔑 Choose you opening wisely
Thanks bud! , i see people would ask what aupair is.
Is that like a job? How did such a job get j1 Visa? Isn't it for scholars?