Dating blues

Google Riter
Jun 22, 2018 15 Comments

I’m in my mid 20s and because of my personality I found dating world pretty challenging. This feels frustrating at times but I can’t complain bc I’ve been lucky to be good at many other things and it’s only fair that I’m not that good at this.

I also figured this skill is only relevant for a very brief period of our lives (until you find someone) and I was curious how people in their 30s or 40s reflect back on it. Do you feel like all the worrying was unwarranted?

Thanks

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 15 Comments
  • New / Eng
    chicks

    New Eng

    PRE
    Microsoft, Facebook
    chicksmore
    No, social skills are important throughout your life. Don’t try to find excuses for yourself. Go out and do something with it. Just as you practice leetcode to get a good job, you have to practice social interactions.

    Disclaimer: I’m on the shy side myself, but I am working hard to overcome this.
    Jun 22, 2018 5
    • Google Riter
      OP
      I see. I mean I have reasonable social skills I just don’t like the discomfort that happens during the early stages of dating
      Jun 22, 2018
    • New / Eng
      chicks

      New Eng

      PRE
      Microsoft, Facebook
      chicksmore
      Interesting. Do you have any problems with picking up girls or just interacting with them once you go on a first date?
      Jun 22, 2018
    • Google Riter
      OP
      I don’t think I’ve ever “picked up” a girl, but I’ve gone on dates with women I met online and I didn’t like the awkwardness.
      I once went out with a girl I knew as a friend first, it was a bit easier but still feels stressful. Basically I never have fun on dates, they feel like stressful job interviews
      Jun 22, 2018
    • Amazon GrTR71
      ^ That is what alcohol is for.
      Jun 27, 2018
    • New / Eng
      asslick

      New Eng

      PRE
      Microsoft, Facebook
      asslickmore
      Agreed. My biggest problem is to pick up girls
      Jun 27, 2018
  • New zakzak
    Whatever age you grow up to, dating skills are important if serious relationships, one night flings, and everything in between is important to you. There are enough people who suck at marriage because they feel that keeping the spark alive is only meant for kids. Put a small percentage of leetcoding time into other aspects of life and you'll feel more fulfilled in the long run.
    Jun 22, 2018 0
  • Amazon jshmoe
    I feel your pain man. It's not easy. Dating is about confidence and charisma. 2 books I've read that helped are 'The Game' and 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'.
    Jun 22, 2018 1
    • LinkedIn tendies
      Let me guess, you are white?
      Apr 27
  • HCL / Other jstwrkhere
    I feel you bro.
    Social skill doesn’t translate to dating skill. You can be outside have fun around your male friends all day long but if you don’t know how to talk to girls, you’re screwed.
    Know what to tell women and act around them is an entirely different battle.
    Actually, if you know what you’re doing you don even have to be outgoing.
    But it’s not easy for some type of people while some don’t need to do much.
    Also having gf is overrated
    Jun 22, 2018 1
    • New / Eng
      chicks

      New Eng

      PRE
      Microsoft, Facebook
      chicksmore
      LOL, yea I bet it is - if you never had one.
      Jun 23, 2018
  • Qualcomm fpga
    Damn if we could switch our lives at this point. Dating is super easy.

    Here's an advice: Fake it till you make it. Seem confident even if you're nervous inside. There's no need to be awkward. Be friends with your dates. You're at Google! Show off that X factor that Google interviewers keep trying to find. Apparently I didnt have that X factor and rejected. I'm not in SW though. Sucks :(

    Dating is easier if you're attractive. If you're not physically attractive you need other ways of being attractive. Like use your brains and charm them. Be more interesting. Be more social. Talk to random people, go to social meetups, get over your own awkwardness first then it will be a smooth ride from there on. Good luck.
    Jun 22, 2018 0
  • Kroger ECaz32
    What are "dating skills"
    Jun 22, 2018 0
  • Apple / Eng cho Chang
    Relax fam.. LTRs are overrated 😉
    Jun 22, 2018 0
  • Visa / Eng Suite E
    Worrying is unwarranted. Try finding and dating your counterpart. I.e. of your preferred sex who is also awkward just like you
    Jun 22, 2018 0

Join verified employees in our anonymous social network! Download the app!

close