If you are a native English speaker would you ever date (for the purposes of a long term relationship) a non native speaker? Even if they are fluent, they are unlikely to understand every nuance that comes to people who grew up with the language.
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- Facebook dodantFrom my experience, the willingness to communicate and empathy are more important to the language barrier itself. I’ve dated many people who speak my mother tongue but didn’t understand the subtleties due to their lack of empathy and incompatibilities and vice versa.
- Depends on the culture of the non-native English speaker.
English speaking cultures are usually pretty open to dating non-English cultures. This is why you see a lot of Americans, Australians, and British dating or married to non-native English speakers (eg. British married to French/Spanish/Polish, Australian married to Indonesian/French/Chinese, American married to Russian/Mexican/Filipino).
So the key element here is actually the culture of the non-native English speaker. The more traditional cultures may make it a bit more difficult for dating people outside their culture because their traditions dictate they can only marry someone within their own culture.
So native English speakers usually don’t care about language. It is the culture of the non-native English speaker that actually matters.
- Oracle tamatarLanguage nuances aren't a problem with people who have had solid education and exposure. What you may find missing may be pop-culture references from childhood and teens spent elsewhere. You won't find anyone who gets 'Seinfeld' references equally well as the ''Spaced' references.
- If you are male/female with overall high sexual market value (masculinity and earning capacity for guys, beauty for girls), it does not matter how good is your English. But if your SMV is low, better English won’t help you much. When I just moved here my English was pretty bad but there were always women who wanted me and they didn’t care about my English. If you are a man - be a man that all women want. If you are a woman - be beautiful and kind.
- Dell / Eng//////moreIn my experience many non native speakers actually communicate more thoughtfully and they get the subtleties just fine if they grew up with American television ..
- I speak a few other languages and have had relationships with people that don’t speak English fluently. I find that, even if I can have a fluent conversation with them in their own language, it’s hard for me to feel as strong of a connection.
But there’s no difference between dating a native vs non native speaker if they’re fluent. The bigger difference there is in the cultural differences.
- It also depends on your cultural and language background / upbringing. I have been dating for 1 1/2 years, my Thai g/f who speaks Thai (native), but she is also fluent in Korean, knows Japanese and we communicate together in English. Even though English is my native language, I also speak two dialects of Chinese. I am learning Thai and have a deeper understanding of the Thai culture.
Is it harder to communicate and are there nuances that make it harder for the relationship? Of course. But sometimes it isn’t the actual words, but the thought and feeling that you are trying to communicate that is most important.
It does make it harder, when you want to lean on your partner and vica-versa, that it isn’t as easy to communicate about the situation. It depends on what you need from your partner.
If your preferred language is “words of affirmation” (The Five Love Languages), a recommendation would be to also inform your partner, how you want to be communicated to, about certain topics. It is a 2-way street, so be sure be open with your own feelings, preferences, and communication styles. Your partner is taking the extra effort to date you, and it is their second language.
- Microsoft / EngsudоNot a native English speaker, but I do find it easier to feel a connection with someone, whose first language is the same as mine.
Was it ever a barrier to date a guy? Nah. Language skills is a very basic requirement, and is easy to pass. As long as we can understand each other, talk about topics we both find interesting, then it's not an issue anymore. Language is only a tiny part of a successful communication.
- Splunk Oloc61Seriously?! this is what you’re concerned about? Which rock you have been living under for the past 30 or so years., especially in the Bay Area?! Jeez
- Pinterest pinheadIt can be frustrating, especially if you are verbally fluent yourself. You will find yourself limiting your vocabulary and avoiding cultural references to minimize having to explain what you mean.
It makes communication very effortful and you will never communicate as smoothly as you could with a native from your own culture. If you’re the type who likes witty banter, don’t expect the other person to engage or get it.
This all varies in degree of course, by the individual. Some non-native speakers have trouble enunciating, while others just aren’t up to speed on cultural references or are not used to sarcasm.
I would steer clear unless the person the person has a lot to offer otherwise, and is genuinely motivated to acculturate and improve their English.
- Google googler78For what it's worth, non-native fluent speakers tend to have a richer understanding of English (especially grammar). I've yet to meet an American speaking in a non-simple tense (outside of present perfect).
What nuances are people missing out on? Are you talking about Michael Scott references?