Is it common in bay area that people delay planning kids while focusing on career or I am the only one.
Female : 32
If you are in same boat, write your age in comments.
- Google / EngBluthsDon’t plan to have kids. But mostly because I don’t want to waste the best 18 years of my life on someone else.
- Adobe ZxcvbasdfgStarted trying at 36, delivered my first a few days shy of my 38th birthday. Wanted to have two but having one ended up a handful and feeling very overwhelmed.
Last month, we decided to have only one due to my age and I have a sinking feeling that we simply can’t manage working full time with 2 kids and 2 senior dogs (that I treat like my family).
Have to admit, it stings a bit and I cried a bit when I gave away the baby clothes/stuff that I save for my 2nd. I always thought that I will have at least 2 and my son will have a sister to grow up with.
Did I regret having my son so late in my 30s? I am not sure. I wasn’t that mature when I was in my early 30s and I wanted different things back then.
- I'm delaying kids, marriage, responsibilities, adulthood and any other grown up shit. 30 is the new 20.
- For a girl, 35 is too late to start worrying.. at that age, it's almost time to resign.
- Lots of women are procreating in droves in their 30s. 40s is rare.
A child is the most important thing I'll do in my life and raising one well is among the best contributions every parent makes to society. So, would rather wait till I find the partner that one wants to procreate or Co parent with.
- First kid at 35 is very common in East Asian countries like Korea and Taiwan. When culture shifts from arrangement to dating based marriage plus all women getting a job after college, it leaves out many people without spouse until very late age (or never) which is the case for these countries.
Have 2 kids and happy that I didn't move to Bay area before having them, otherwise I would have delayed or stopped at one
- 32 and I keep moving it to the next year. Just don’t feel ready for the responsibilities and the whole process feels so unfair towards the women.
- It is very hard to generalize. So if you don’t seek for answers from specific group of yours, the answers in the comments will not reflect the bubble you re in.
For example, Russians and Eastern Europeans marry and have kids in very early ages. Most of those groups of people come to US after they get their degrees in European countries. Hence, they already have kids.
East Asians such as Koreans and Taiwanese tend to have their first kid very late. Most of college educated folks from these countries often have their first in early to late 30s.
Majority of Bay area is from Indian and its neighboring countries. This group of people seem like mostly marrying via family arrangement so that could mean kids immediately after marriage in most of couples I guess. I see lots of older Indian
men having young kids though. I think they were married late. I have Indian friends who did PhD in US and they didn’t have the kids immediately. But they are a bit different from other typical Indians who came without studying in US.
- Autodesk / MktgziYA54I'm 32, have had two kids and run a department. It is a big balancing act. But in today's day and age, esp. in tech companies, having kids shouldn't stand in your way. Maternity leaves are [slowly and in certain industries] getting better and more expected. I took 4 months off with my first and 6 with my second. My husband took 4 weeks with our first and 8 weeks with our second. (We both had different policies by the time our second was born, only 1.5 years after our first).
If you're ready for kids, go for it. If you're company doesn't support you properly, its time for a new job!
- Cisco / EngzGcY8533, delaying till I can buy a house because I refuse to be that family in a 1-bedroom or 2-bedroom apartment with a newborn screaming its head off annoying the neighbors.
Might be a bit still since I’m currently single. Dating scene out here kinda sucks for long term marriage + kids goals, most women I meet seem to just want to have fun and focus on their career too. Which is all well and good, but...yeah. Seems to be majority are either that or they’re divorced with 2 kids and got some major baggage from getting screwed over or whatever the case may be.