I'm a new grad but don't have the typical new grad life or responsibilities as I have a toddler at home. I thought I could do the whole parenting and working thing but it's harder than I ever imagined it would be. I struggle to think about my career projection because my brain is so occupied with worrying about my child . I complete tasks assigned to me but don't want the responsibility of having to devise my own projects or learning to do design work. At this point I'd be happy staying an SDE 1 forever because it keeps my stress level low. Is there any way I can regain my grit and ambition? Also, just cause I needed more stress in my life, we may need to pull my child out of his day care because he is a high needs child. If this happens I will need to quit and stay home with him for possibly a while. Is it possible to recover from having a 1 year gap if you're still a new grad? It feels like my career was DOA. Thanks
Wtf? Dude before I had a kid I was just playing videogames in all my spare time. Relax. Your career is fine. Just keep dividing your time sensibly between your family, work, and self. And yeah, a gap year is fine and employers are generally very supportive of that type of thing especially when there’s a kid involved. Here’s something to try: Learn something new about tech stuff every day. Read something off InfoQ, highscalability, Medium, whatever. Or listen to a tech talk on your way to work. Slow and steady wins the race. You’ll be fine.
Having a high needs child must be incredibly stressful and it sounds like the day care situation isn't helping. Is the day care legally allowed to discriminate against your child? There are some allowable exceptions but in general it's not legal to kick a child out just because they need some more attention. You may want to see if you have standing. It would be a shame to have to leave a job because a company is trying to illegally discriminate. https://www.ada.gov/childqanda.htm It's definitely possible to recover from a 1-year gap if it's family related. Is your partner also working?
Yes we both work, no family in the area. I'm not sure if ADA applies since it's not a public school.
Private businesses still have to comply with tile III because a day care is still a 'public accommodation', even if the business is just a home based day care. The major exception is if it is run by a religious organization. The doc has some detail about the exceptions. Best of luck, whatever you decide to do.
You’re ok! Ask your boss if you can work from home though knowing amazon’s culture maybe you can find a work remotely from home job later. And you’ll figure it out. You’re just new to dealing with the kid’s needs and that is ok! You’ll learn soon enough and them your brain will be able to relax again, and do what it wants again!
F$ck you! I reported this to the FBI.
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I am a new mom and I can hear what you are saying. You can do both, by that I mean that you can have your career and enjoy parenting. I’d recommend you to find a balance at work and at home. Can you work in a team/Product/company where things are moving at a slightly slower pace? Can you find may be a helper to take care of your toddler? Also, you have the rest of your life to think of your career. But you’ll kid will be a toddler only for a few years. Enjoy the ride. I have realized the value of my team and company because it allows me to give my best, both at work and to my baby. Enjoy this time and may be a slower team and s nanny might help.
Sending you cheers and support. It is going to get better through time, don’t panic! Kids are the best thing that has happened to me! No career no anything else is better! But you’ll be just fine at work, just stay cool. People usually sympathetic and understanding of situation like that. We were asked to leave our first day care because it did not go well. It was tough. We tried another daycare just 2 months later and my son has been there for 2 years already and everything is great. If you need to take a year off - take it. You’ll easily catch up, nothing changes that fast even in IT. Interviews are still gonna be Tree traversals on a board. Stay positive and enjoy your family time! Seeing how your kid progresses through life, learns, becomes an individual - is the best project of your life. It’s much more exciting than c++ or aws.
It is a blessing. Please treat your kid as the precious thing you have. I am taking care of my aging mom (65) while I am starting out my career at 25. Although it is hard but I love my mom to my deepest heart. The situation actually gave me a lot of perspectives that I probably never thought of if I have no responsibility. So enjoy life and be a role model for your kid;) !!
Better question: would not having a kid kill your career?
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You are blessed to have a child. If you were not ready for the kid then why you had him in the first place? Look around and ask ppl who don’t have kids. You are the reason of that kid to bring in this world and you have to manage it across work and life where family always come first. Arrange a nanny for him if that helps.
This low life who replied my comments without reading it completely was actually born as an accident and was ignored throughout his life. Op, don’t raise your kid like him. Op you have to find wlb and focus on raising your kid.
Cuper - you ducked up. Apologize and move on.