Divorce or not?
I'm in a strange relationship where i don't hate/dislike my wife and also don't enjoy being with her. I'm thinking of seeing a marriage counselor and make a decision. Any recommendations for a good counselor on the east side (Seattle area)? TC: 270k edit: Indian, 4 years of marriage, no kids reason i feel we don't enjoy being together: we lack intellectual compatibility and sexual chemistry
Do you enjoy your alone time? Are you depressed?
All the girls the same, keep your wife.
Nope summer tight and some Are lose some crazy some are annoying.
Girls before marriage != Girls after marriage Girls after marriage all the same.
Since relationship is usually two people, what do you do to bring more excitement into yours? Do look for a counselor as they will help to see things you don't notice, but also do some homework and try answering the above. Can be as simple as going on a walk or cooking together. After first few dates, love is build on shared experiences. And you gotta participate here, not just sit and observe if you still like that human next to you or not.
We do travel a lot, and also spend quit a bit of time together at home. There is no problem with either of us however I feel like we are not compatible intellectually and our sexual chemistry is very poor
Intellectual is harder to fix. Start with the sex part then. Have you tried bringing up something new and experiment more? Just bring up your ideas in a form that she'll accept. Like you're already considering divorce, why not give this a try. Get some adult toys or something kinky that you think both of you will like. There are of course exceptions and corner cases, bit in general everyone needs a healthy sex life.
Many marriage ended up somewhere like this and you aren't along. Try to bring some excitement into your life together and things will improve. I would be worried about marrying someone who easily gets bored at marriage and divorce. So if you are still thinking of another marriage in the future, at least try hard now.
I like the part "if you are still thinking of another marriage in the future, at least try hard now". Yes, I'm thinking a relationship where both of us truly enjoy each other's company, have kids, live happily.. not necessarily a marriage though
Why did you marry her in the first place? Have you had a deeper conversation with her about your issues? And what has she said?
It was an arranged marriage and I agree I was so stupid to marry someone out of the blue! I tried speaking with her few times, it either ends up in an argument or no result
That’s the worst. No communication but fights. I guess try and have an amicable divorce. You only have one life. Why be with someone that you don’t love at all.
The happy couples you see are not that happy in reality. All couples have baggage and issues and relationships are work no matter how perfect they are. What you're looking for exists only in movies and imaginations or in the first few months / years. After the novelty wears off, it all regresses to a median and you've to find opportunities to differentiate things where little things matter more as a sum. I've been in many relationships including several serious ones and this is what I've found to be true. Good luck with whatever you decide, won't be easy either way.
In our case.. as a couple we were never happy (or sad) even in the first few months
Relationships take work. Marriage is an active choice. There will be many times you love your partner, but don’t like them. You choose to stay married even when you don’t like them. There will be times that things are easy and effortless too. This isn’t a job. You don’t just get sick of it and interview for a new one. It ebbs and flows, grows and regresses, as do people. The point is to find someone that you want to ebb and flow with.
Where are you from originally?
Lol. I bet you already have a country in mind, don’t you? We know what you’re thinking :-P
Isn’t that obvious? Why ask?