Divorce with kid, on H1b/H4 visa

Aug 31 38 Comments

I have a 9 year old. On H1b, wife on H4 visa with H4 EAD.
I have too many conflicts with my wife and want to divorce her. She is fine with it too, but there are two problems.

1) We both cannot imagine life without the kid. I am ok with some kind of an arrangement where we share the times we live with the kid.

2) She is on H4. Dependent on my status.

Is there any solution to this mess ?
I know of one solution, she starts studying on F1, her dependent status is gone, and then we can be together here in the US with the kid.

Any other solutions ? My wife refuses to meet a lawyer. I want to meet a collaborative lawyer who can think in the best interests of the kid.

Also looking to hear other similar experiences

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TOP 38 Comments
  • Facebook ⭕w⭕
    This is something you discuss with a lawyer, not on Blind.
    Aug 31 1
    • OP
      Looking for other experiences
      Aug 31
  • New dqPd85
    This might sound like a crazy idea but have you tried, I don’t know, fixing it??
    Aug 31 4
    • Google _fake_
      You poor soul... When reality hits you with a bag of bricks, I hope you can take it with this same attitude.
      Aug 31
    • New dqPd85
      I would, for the sake of my son’s happiness, I would
      Aug 31
    • Google _fake_
      And what if he is trapped in a bad marriage ? he sacrifice his happiness for his son.
      And in the end, no one is happy.
      Aug 31
    • New dqPd85
      And what if he is not and at least the son has a chance of being happy? Looks like I wouldn’t be the one to be hit with a bag of bricks called reality.
      Aug 31
  • Google _fake_
    One naive question from a person who has contemplated this a lot(even before getting married), why get a divorce and make it official ?

    Only upside I see is a chance to get remarried. But having burnt once, would you do that all over again ?
    (This is in context of a non-western culture/society.)
    Aug 31 6
    • Bose
      haITried

      Bose

      PRE
      Salesforce
      haITriedmore
      Can fuck other women. Op is probably not getting any sex from his wife
      Aug 31
    • OP
      It’s just too stressful (NOT for sexual reasons)
      Aug 31
    • Neurocrine h61cs9
      Why do so many women withdraw from sex after marriage?
      Aug 31
    • Oracle dksknx
      I’m curious to know the answer to above question
      Sep 5
    • Bose
      haITried

      Bose

      PRE
      Salesforce
      haITriedmore
      Women are emotional and tie x y z to sex. Men are not.
      Also women dont have the same urges if they are nursing children etc
      Sep 5
  • Bose
    haITried

    Bose

    PRE
    Salesforce
    haITriedmore
    Can u live separately and then when she finds a job divorce ? U will owe her a lot of alimony if she doesnt have a job
    Aug 31 6
    • Bose
      haITried

      Bose

      PRE
      Salesforce
      haITriedmore
      How abt both of u rent in same building if u r renting, separate flats
      Aug 31
    • OP
      But we need a schedule for the kid. It’s doable but if not formalized might lead to trouble
      Aug 31
    • OP
      How much alimony are we talking about ? Has to be within a percentage of my tc right ?
      Aug 31
    • Bose
      haITried

      Bose

      PRE
      Salesforce
      haITriedmore
      Can be 50% after child support for whatever time the judge feels is right .

      Lets say you make 10k a month pre tax
      2k child supoort
      2k tax
      Left 6k
      Judge can say give her 3k a month for 2 years until she graduates and once she finds a job u can appeal
      In short u r fucked
      Check with a lawyer for exact info
      Aug 31
    • OP
      That should be fine. What happens if I get a 20K job after that . Do the numbers change ?
      Aug 31
  • You sound hypocrite that you love your kid and can’t love your wife.
    Aug 31 1
    • LinkedIn / Eng igotb&
      😂 are you married with a kid?
      Aug 31
  • Oracle
    not_larry

    Oracle

    PRE
    Amazon
    not_larrymore
    What’s your TC? Wife’s?
    Aug 31 1
    • OP
      250K, wife’s is a much smaller fraction of it
      Aug 31
  • Amazon lo l l l
    If not Indian, get green card ASAP
    Aug 31 1
    • OP
      Indian , will not get it in a decade
      Aug 31
  • Verizon / Eng iSuck2
    During the court briefing, please continue to refer to your child as “the kid”
    Sep 2 0
  • Marvell / Eng
    zenbuddha

    Marvell Eng

    PRE
    AMD
    zenbuddhamore
    Did you work with a marriage counselor before you made this decision?
    Aug 31 4
    • OP
      No, but it’s been many years and we are at a point of no return
      Aug 31
    • Marvell / Eng
      zenbuddha

      Marvell Eng

      PRE
      AMD
      zenbuddhamore
      I feel you should try it once compatibility issues change over time If you have respect for each other you should try counseling
      Aug 31
    • OP
      Yes will try. Wife will be more open to it than to meeting a lawyer , so worth a try
      Aug 31
    • Marvell / Eng
      zenbuddha

      Marvell Eng

      PRE
      AMD
      zenbuddhamore
      Best wishes and dm me if you need any help
      Aug 31
  • Google _fake_
    Can you stay in same house as sort of flatmates ?
    Aug 31 2
    • OP
      In same or nearby apartment buildings, Yes. Of course not in the same house. Will not work
      Aug 31
    • Lockheed Martin / R&D Schz3
      Wise. Another solution is to maintain the same house , and each you get a small rental nearby. You take turns being at home with the child, and each of you can still have your own lives
      Aug 31
  • Groupon / Eng sleepy
    Stay separated inside the same house. Keep everything separate except probably the address and tax filing.
    Sep 2 0
  • Sorry, not hypocrite, but a super oxymoron
    Aug 31 0