There's a saying, "love fades with love". The next person you'll decide to have a relationship with, hopefully after you've learned your lessons from the mistakes of your previous relationship(s), will make you see and better understand all the reasons you were unhappy with your now ex. Learning is a journey in and of itself. It won't be easy but there will be better days. Try and stay positive.
No, I never stopped loving my ex. It's been years since we broke up, I dated a few other people in the meantime. But my first long term relationship still remains special to me.
Sure, there were ups and downs. There are arguments and good times. There were differences. But I never found something like that again where there was genuine care, love, respect, empathy, and acceptance, where we understood more than we said.
I genuinely wish my ex all the happiness and success.
People tend to be more open when it comes to first relationships (significant others, friends, bosses, colleagues, etc.). Once we‘ve learned how others can hurt us, lie to us, manipulate us, we tend to give little less chances to the ones that follow.
This protects us from others to hurt us but also prevents others from truly entering into our lives.
That’s why we remember our first loves with such passion, because we also miss how good it felt to blindly trust without thinking that much in the “what would happen”
Yes, I agree with you 100% @Paypal. I think that's exactly the reason that relationship is, and will be, special to me because it was my ex's first relationship as well. So we both gave our 100%, became a part of each other, and loved unconditionally. But after the breakup (and a few others), I have become very cautious about who enters my life, how much details I share about myself, and how much time/importance I give.
True love exists, but it’s neither singular nor constant. You should separate your memories of your ex from the person. Unless your actively involved with your ex now, your “love” is actually nostalgia of the past.
You will always love your ex. True love isn't supposed to be with one and only one person. You are capable of loving many many people. Marriage isn't only about love. It's also about sharing goals, family, future, obligations. Sometimes people's lives don't align. It's no one's fault. With time you'll understand this.
I was still in love with an ex while I dated other people. I never forgot but I did get over it. Breakups require exponential backoff for time to heal them. If you encounter the same kind of heartbreak from someone else, it all comes roaring back, so be careful that you don’t repeat mistakes.
As for moving forward, aim for unconditional love not “true love.” Someone who you find attractive, finds you attractive and will love you unconditionally, flaws and all—that’s the dream.
Don’t ever try to date to purge your ex from your mind. You’ll end up hurting an innocent victim trying to save yourself from your past. You need to be single and grow as an individual. After this you can pursue love when you have the capacity to accept your partner as themselves and give them the love they deserve. Otherwise the ghost of your previous relationship takes over.
Love is a state of mind that can change any time ... even if it was your first experience, it will stay special but it can be replaced if you are in a relationship that satisfies you more than your ex.
Agree. Accepting that it didn't work out between you two and wishing them best is better than keeping grudges or hating them for things they did to you. Everyone has their own reasons for why they behave a certain way or do certain things to you. You may or may not understand those reasons.
I haven’t been in any long term relationships but I still think about the girls that have rejected me in the past, and the ones I sorta rejected by not calling them anymore. It’s strange that the human brain is wired this way. But probably the best thing to do is to focus on the present and move forward.