Do you believe in the concept of marriage?

Axtria AtinIay🙄
Oct 19 61 Comments

Do you believe in it as a concept - living together, sharing your finances/happiness/success/failure, being committed to one another, not having any other affairs for the rest of your life, helping one another in almost everything, sharing household chores, having kids and raising them together, taking vacations together almost all the time, possibly giving up on career prospects to stay in the same city etc?

For those who don't believe in it, please comment what your reasons are:
1. Divorce is a taboo
2. Legal complications and alimony
3. Want to keep my sexual freedom
4. Want to keep the freedom to do things my way
5. Don't want kids
6. Others?

254 VOTES SELECT ONLY ONE ANSWER
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TOP 61 Comments
  • Oracle Sockets
    Do you believe in magic in a young girl's heart?
    Oct 19 1
  • Amazon KRONjob
    Marriage was conceived by beta males. They realized early on that alpha males are getting all the mates. If they kill off the alpha male, the group crumbles, (eg group loses a capable male and is weaker thus increasing the likelihood of getting slaughtered by other groups).

    So to avoid this scenario, betas introduced female slut shaming and marriage.
    Oct 19 6
    • Amazon KRONjob
      Yeah but that never happens. They introduced slut shaming to reduce the alpha male's sex funnel.
      Oct 19
    • Cisco unit-test
      Found the incel -_-
      Oct 19
    • Amazon KRONjob
      Oh I'm not bitter at all. I completely respect the game and I'm playing it well. I just have a much better understanding of relationships with women. I lived in Vegas for while before Amazon.
      Oct 19
    • Good troll game Amazon. You have my respect.

      “I understand the game, I am highly sexually active with many women, who are in fact females of the opposite gender than me, who is a male. With a penis that is not nonfunctional at all.”
      Oct 19
    • Amazon KRONjob
      ^Are you aware of The Game by Neil Strauss? Read it if you have time. Best of luck.
      Oct 19
  • Microsoft presci
    I prefer a companion without the sexual part of it. It’s just my way of living.
    Oct 19 10
    • Adobe PlJs12
      same!
      Oct 19
    • Cisco unit-test
      You are not alone
      Oct 19
    • Amazon Nsgdbp
      Just curious, do you masturbate or even that is something weird for you? Sorry if it is too personal.
      Oct 19
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      @presci dmed you
      Oct 20
    • Cadence / Eng
      pretzle

      Cadence Eng

      PRE
      Intel Corporation
      pretzlemore
      Wow so many of your kind? I barely know men turns out
      Oct 24
  • I see great value in marriage at this point in my life. I've been married for 3 years now to someone with a similar cultural background.

    In my 20s, i was someone who questioned the utility of marriage, was horrified by the idea of arranged marriage (which was the way to go for many members of my family) and screwed around a lot. I had my fun. Black, White, Latino, Asian. Black-haired, Blonde-haired, Brunettes, Redheads. One-night stands, short-term flings, long-term fuck buddy arrangements, committed relationships. I used to follow bloggers who wrote about the game and espoused their theories and ways of life.

    I then moved away from the first-world life and into a less individualistic society. I started to realize that a lot of my single life behavior was just posturing. Without realizing it, i had created all sorts of defense-mechanisms and defensive behaviors to not get hurt through the inevitable ups and downs of the single life. I also realized that many of the game theorists' theories were also based on fear and avoiding getting hurt.

    Marriage is an 8,000 year old institution. Its persisted through a ton of generations. There must be some wisdom in it if 1) its survived this long 2) its sprung up across multiple cultures and groups of people that were living independently
    Oct 20 6
    • Very understandable questions and good ones

      1. a) Shared experience with one person which provides a sense of belonging (something i have struggled for) b) Greater understanding of oneself (because a spouse who you repeatedly interact with will reflect your qualities back to you)
      2. Freedom is an illusion. Happiness comes from being useful to others and from having responsibilities. After a while this "freedom" becomes a burden.
      3. You can argue to yourself that you applied the optimal stopping problem to finding your partner. Basically you feel less regret for not having banged more randoms.
      Oct 20
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      Thanks, this is helpful. I always thought so, that I would probably feel a greater sense of happiness by developing shared connections and memories with one person. And it would make me feel more "liberated". I haven't been banging randoms but everyone around me is, which makes me question if that is what I should also do, because there is clearly no one believing in the philosophies which I do.

      I was looking for different perspectives. Thanks for sharing yours :)
      Oct 20
    • There's this 'game' theorist called roosh (rooshv.com). He's had an unbelievable transformation. His entire life and identity was about banging randoms and helping other dudes bang hotter and hotter randoms. After many years of not checking his blog, i pulled it up again earlier this year and was shocked to see his transformation. He has abandoned his old theories and done a complete 180 and now advocates more stable relationships.

      Following his transformation may provide even more wisdom and show you what's to come beyond the current phase you and your brethren seem to be in.
      Oct 20
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      Thanks, I'll check it out. Just out of curiosity, did you get arranged married?
      Oct 20
    • I didn't. But my sibling did
      Oct 20
  • Fast Enterprises / Eng nskcjx4
    I believe in marriage only when the other persons TC is higher than mine
    Oct 19 1
    • FactSet
      uchiha_

      FactSet

      PRE
      PayPal
      uchiha_more
      Lol
      Oct 19
  • American Airlines duuuude55
    Make/Female ratio here seems about right.
    Oct 19 1
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      Only until men start posing as women
      Oct 19
  • Adobe amigo 3
    Interesting poll I would like to see how does the married but don’t believe in it category looks at the end
    Oct 19 5
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      I personally know a few married people who don't believe in it, so was curious to know what most people here think about it
      Oct 19
    • Adobe amigo 3
      Won’t they separate if they don’t believe, what’s making them stay together
      Oct 19
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      Many reasons:
      1. Not being happy doesn't mean being miserable. People separate when they are miserable.
      2. They may be get along well in certain aspects but not in others, which may make them not believe in marriage. But those other aspects may be too good to leave.
      3. Kids
      4. Legal troubles and alimony
      5. Fear of not being able to find another partner
      6. In some cultures, separation is a taboo
      7. Staying because your partner doesn't want to separate
      Oct 19
    • Adobe amigo 3
      Of all the reasons listed kids and legal troubles & fear of finding partner reasonable.I don’t think any culture in the world stops you, separation seems common
      Oct 19
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      You certainly don't understand how cultures work. Go out and explore more, talk to people.
      Oct 19
  • Billups goohmba
    Hm... not sure how to answer here; I want to be as honest as possible.

    I’m male and married, so that narrows it down (for my employer too, I guess). And I love and love spending time with my wife and offspring; no acrimonious feelings there.

    But I’m not sure we’d be married if not for all the State-controlled financial structures around marriage, e.g. health insurance, tax filing status. I know there are alternative methods to file for those things, but they give the same amount of information and control over to the State as marriage does, so it’s almost the same thing in that regard.

    We’re not religious, so the ceremonies were just excuses to hang out with our families and do stuff that would make our families happy before we started planning kids.

    I guess I don’t actively “believe in” marriage; if we could somehow abolish the whole concept overnight I don’t think I’d shed a tear. I’d just be faithful to my partner and share all my stuff with her anyway.
    Oct 20 4
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      Thank you for sharing. So can I say that you do believe in marriage but just not the legal aspects of it?

      My post mentions a lot of things apart from the legal aspects (tax sharing, hassle around divorce etc), which are the things that form a strong marriage (or a relationship). You seem to believe in them and have all that with your partner. If not for the state laws and the institution of marriage, you would have probably stayed together and be in a relationship in the same way that you currently are. Is my understanding correct?
      Oct 21
    • Billups goohmba
      Yes, that is all correct. Thank you for clarifying; I will register this as my answer. :)
      Oct 21
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      Great, this is good to know. Thanks again for sharing. Wish you a lifetime of happy married life :)

      Out of curiosity, what do you think are the most essential pillars of a happy and strong marriage/relationship?
      Oct 21
    • Adobe amigo 3
      There’s lots of other countries with very little laws around marriage and people still stay married.
      When you ask a question essential pillars of happy marriage ?
      It totally depends on what is happiness is defined for each person. Happiness is defined by you. Every person happiness comes from different things and marriage definitely involves lots of trust and little/ big adjustments
      Oct 24
  • T-Mobile / Finance tk3m6w
    Good poll
    Oct 19 1
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      Thanks, curious to see the results. I hope you voted :)
      Oct 19
  • Believe in something even if it costs you everything
    Oct 19 0
  • Cisco boooombox
    Marriage is just a legal binding. You can do all the things that you defined in your concept and more without being bound by that. I don't complicate my life by getting into unnecessary bindings.
    Oct 19 0
  • GE F499
    Female married- don’t believe in it
    Oct 19 5
    • Google swinglyf
      Why is that?
      Oct 19
    • GE F499
      End of a fairy tale
      Oct 19
    • Google swinglyf
      Confused!! Are you saying you had a vibrant relationship pre-marriage and marriage ended the fairy tale?
      Oct 19
    • Axtria AtinIay🙄
      OP
      Thanks GE. I know a few others like you - both men and women. You are not alone.
      Oct 20
    • American Airlines duuuude55
      I think I get what you’re saying. I feel like society conditions women (more so than men) that marriage is some sort of end game. Like being married in itself is the accomplishment. When the real accomplishment should be finding someone and being able to stay married.
      Oct 20
  • Cadence / Eng
    pretzle

    Cadence Eng

    PRE
    Intel Corporation
    pretzlemore
    I think you should have a single/whatever gender/ not sure.

    How can someone have an opinion about marriage until they gave gone through it?
    Oct 24 2
    • Walmart suul61
      Do you have an opinion on being run over by a car? Would that opinion be valid only if you’d been through the experience? There are other ways to arrive at wisdom besides personal experience.
      Oct 24
    • Cadence / Eng
      pretzle

      Cadence Eng

      PRE
      Intel Corporation
      pretzlemore
      Still makes no sense; your example is pretty lame. Running over by a car has only one opinion. Are you equating running over a car to marriage?

      I don't have an experience with marriage so have no first hand opinion to share. The sample set I am aware of from which I can derive data is pretty random. So there you go - there is my wisdom.

      Why is a no opinion no valid? That's where I am - NO OPINION,
      Oct 24
  • Fuck your shit poll.
    Oct 19 1
  • Walmart suul61
    Marriage is an institution. And no man or woman can be free if they’re bound to an institution.
    Oct 19 1
    • Cisco unit-test
      But you don’t have to get married. It’s a choice
      Oct 20
  • Facebook artifex
    Married male here, I like it. I also believe I could live as single and date casually. It’s a matter of organization and communication
    Oct 19 0
  • Facebook / Eng
    eniA65

    Facebook Eng

    PRE
    Google
    eniA65more
    Sex
    Oct 19 0

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