I’m really tossed up on this one. From what I’ve gathered: Pros: -they bring tons of joy watching them grow up -they will love you unconditionally when they’re young -fun to play with -fills you with sense of purpose and happiness (can’t deny biological reproductive instinct) -gives you joy and fulfillment you might not get otherwise (instinct) -family to talk to when you’re older Cons: -expensive -huge chunk of your life goes to them -for 18 years, you can forget having time to yourself apart from them. hobbies travel and lifestyle take a major hit -when they grow up, they might not get along with you or give anything back -huge source of worry if you get a ‘bad kid’ -by the time they grow up you’re old Neutrals: -they’re time consuming but you will love the time you spend with them -it’s satisfying but you might not get anything back -you’ll be old before they’re out of the house but you’ll have joy and memories Add more pros/cons and neutrals in the comments. Parents and non parents perspective welcome A huge part of me is thinking, I’ll have to devote all my time to them, which sounds awful but would I do something better if I don’t? Maybe I’ll up wasting it on the internet, playing video games, reading blind, and eating out. Maybe I’ll do something great, who knows? Verdict?
Take the plunge buddy, some of your cons are actually not cons if you have the kids after you are well settled and already experienced the good life for a few years
Looking at it the wrong way man. It's not "oh crap I can't play as many video games now" it's "sorry honey kid wants to play Mario with me gotta do it"
Get a dog...
You are missing one aspect completely - can you, in good conscience - condemn a child to inherit this world? Politics all over the world is going batshit crazy, climate change will likely lead to shortages and unrests etc. - do you want your child to have to deal with all this?
Name me a moment in history where these or similar concerns weren't a thing.
I had the same concerns when my first little one was on the way. It looked like Hillary was going to win and the US was going down the toilet, but things turned out OK. I wouldn’t let these short term worries control major life decisions.
The best legacy you can leave is to have kids and raise them well. I had all the same concerns as you. Used to go into work at noon and come home at like 10:30. Now I’m in the gym at 6:30 AM so I can be home early to play with the munchkin before bed. Even if you don’t want to mess up your life now, do you really want to die alone with no kids/grandkids? What will you do after you retire?
🐕 is good option.
If you don’t then once you turn 40+ your going to find yourself alone and the only friends you have are fake, always running around proclaiming how happy they are to suck. Once you turn 50, they disappear too, leaving you to die alone. Having kids is as much a natural part of life as eating. They fact that you are thinking about it, means you are hungry, but just haven’t realized that it is kids you are after.
Don’t eat your kids.
Really sounds like kids are not for you, your priorities are clearly different from unconditional love if you are already thinking about what they will give back to YOU. Agree with others, get a dog
“...for 18 years, you can forget having time to yourself apart from them.” Only if you’re doing it wrong. Well, you’re not going to get 10 days to yourself very often, but getting 10 hours to yourself, or with your spouse alone, should be happening. (Assuming a two parent household...) And I have a niece who has three young children, and she goes on cruises with her husband while her parents stay with the kids. Time for hobbies and travel will only be there if you prioritize it and proactively make it happen, but it’s certainly possible.
Get Indian sibling. You don't have to much worry about parenting. Culture, family, values would make it lot easier.
Nice Try