I’m really tossed up on this one. From what I’ve gathered:
Pros:
-they bring tons of joy watching them grow up
-they will love you unconditionally when they’re young
-fun to play with
-fills you with sense of purpose and happiness (can’t deny biological reproductive instinct)
-gives you joy and fulfillment you might not get otherwise (instinct)
-family to talk to when you’re older
Cons:
-expensive
-huge chunk of your life goes to them
-for 18 years, you can forget having time to yourself apart from them. hobbies travel and lifestyle take a major hit
-when they grow up, they might not get along with you or give anything back
-huge source of worry if you get a ‘bad kid’
-by the time they grow up you’re old
Neutrals:
-they’re time consuming but you will love the time you spend with them
-it’s satisfying but you might not get anything back
-you’ll be old before they’re out of the house but you’ll have joy and memories
Add more pros/cons and neutrals in the comments. Parents and non parents perspective welcome
A huge part of me is thinking, I’ll have to devote all my time to them, which sounds awful but would I do something better if I don’t? Maybe I’ll up wasting it on the internet, playing video games, reading blind, and eating out. Maybe I’ll do something great, who knows?
Verdict?
comments
Having kids is as much a natural part of life as eating. They fact that you are thinking about it, means you are hungry, but just haven’t realized that it is kids you are after.
Culture, family, values would make it lot easier.
I thought the Blind community is obsessed with TC. Having a kid is a huge setback to financial independence and personal freedom. Nothing is better than DINC life.
Wife (or husband) probably won't have a crush on another and betray you when you are both old, unless you are an awful person.
I'm not planning on adopting soon. Not ready but I'm not closing the door on it. I know I don't want kids of my own though, for a wide variety of reasons (aforementioned too many people, mental health issues my wife and I have both struggled with that have family histories.)
I was also adopted and it greatly affected and improved my life, which affects my view on it. I'd just rather do my best to help someone who already exists have a good life than bring my own offspring into the world.
Sapiens were also animal friendly. It's nice to see, legacy is back.
2) If you aren’t sure, don’t have kids. It’s way too much work and the risk is too high of you decide you don’t.
3) As you age, you realize what you do at work doesn’t matter other than providing a living.
4) The giving up significant portions of your life and your relationship with your spouse is really just the first 5 years. It’s why most parents are unhappy in their 30s and happier in their 40s.
The one word you hit on that resonates the most is “purpose.”
Only if you’re doing it wrong. Well, you’re not going to get 10 days to yourself very often, but getting 10 hours to yourself, or with your spouse alone, should be happening. (Assuming a two parent household...) And I have a niece who has three young children, and she goes on cruises with her husband while her parents stay with the kids. Time for hobbies and travel will only be there if you prioritize it and proactively make it happen, but it’s certainly possible.
Take one year for yourself to do a lot of what you want...novelty will soon wear off and you won't enjoy much more.
Then you are ready to have kids and experience the joy of simple things through their curious eyes.
18 years of that, then you get tired of raising kids too and can return to independence again.
Then you get lonely and will want to see grandkids...
Better to be buying clothes for your own child then for someone else's and even better than pets. It is sad to see older women carrying cats around in a baby stroller
Biological imperative is the destiny. People who dont like having kids will eventually take themselves out of the gene pool no matter the TC.
I spend most of my free time trying to get out into places mostly untouched by humans.
More existentially humans will come and go like anything else, I don't understand why we need to survive. In short giant meteor 2020!
Now in aggregate, yes humans just look like ants.
Cons:
https://www.sciencemag.org/sites/default/files/styles/inline__699w__no_aspect/public/greenhouse_DRUPAL_copyedited-01.png
I wouldn't expect anything from the child in return, just feel happy that the universe gave me the privilege to walk this child through life and watch them grow. Because I acknowledge it was my need to have it and I didn't do any favor to a child by birthing it.
All this is subject to high TC. Unconditional love without expectations is a luxury, not something one can give if your short yourself.
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