In most cases I find engineers are great people and friendly, maybe introverted but still friendly. On the other hand most managers tend to be fake friendly and less of what I would call a good person. Is this cause by the roll, or does the roll attract that type or something else?
- Square Uu5dkGit’s because being a manager requires you to talk to people. so you learn how to grin through a conversation with someone who has no interest in talking to you- like an introverted engineer who would rather be coding
- I follow this simple priority set.
1. Take care of your people
2. Take care of yourself
3. Take care of your job
If you can't do 3 without doing 1 don't manage. Not sure why it's so hard
- Become a manager and then you will know. The thing that you so nicely put at #1 on your list is extremely hard to ensure. People want different things - some want good projects, some want extra time off to spend with family, some want promotions before they are ready, etc. but inevitably everyone wants high TC. A manager at pretty much any place has extremely limited powers and with Leetcode just around the corner, it is impossible to keep people motivated. The other day I had a direct under one of my managers come up to me and say: "I have been offered 20k more/yr at Amazon, and I want to leave. I'll stay if Oracle pays me 50k/yr more". This person was hired from Google, was given a higher title, a fat paycheck (think ~450k), and some of the most interesting projects on my team. And in 13 months, he is looking to switch jobs. How do I take care of him again?Feb 111
- Amazon qwer1234atIsn't part of the management process also letting go and creating fallback? If 1 person leaves, you should be able to come up with a failsafe 6 months before that or even a year or more in advance, right? If a senior or principal leaves, you should figure out how to operate without them or keep them. Some people need to leave and shit happens like family.
- Generalizing: Being a manager involves lying. So they have cover it up with fake friendliness. Smart people see through this very fast. Engineers can be brutally honest which is likable in itself.
- eBay / EngkhhgfManager needs to have completely different skill-sets compared to an engineer and unfortunately, being a good engineer is the prerequisite for being a manager. Very few people have both the skill-sets, and hence we are stuck with mediocre managers who don't know how to manage!
- New / Eng｢ＧＲＥ／ＮＡＤＥ｣moreThere’s a member of the tribe at my current company. He’s not technical and has shitty people skills, so I have no idea why he’s a director. Oh I know why, because one of the co-founders is a member of the tribe too! Funny how that works.
- New nfsmore(good) Managers learn to see and adapt different communication styles and manage relationships in a different level than the common IC. They learn how to grow and deal with people problems and also grow to be a better person thanks to that. They learn to grow their empathy skills and EQ to help their reports by understanding what they are going through.
So no, managing doesn't make you bad.
But there's a perception and/or situations that causes managers to look like "bad managers":
1. an inexperienced manager dealing with though situations.
2. an underperformer that fails to recognize their issues and blame their manager (and everyone else). A good example is that sometimes you need to deliver feedback to someone who disrupt the team members who don't feel comfortable giving feedback.
3. sometimes there's a top down decision that needs to be carried out and managers are paid to execute it. even if it's downsizing/firing people - there's literally no one else but the managers who are responsible to carry this out whether they like it or not.
4. bad company culture creates bad habit (also happens to IC)
- New VSwf01Being a manager has had me more emphathetic, I get to hear all sorts of things at 1on1 that I didn't inquiry about. Sick and dying relative, life debilitating illness, mental illness, Visa struggles, etc. Most people are silently carrying their burden, showing up everyday and trying to do their best.
I however have slowed that on the small talk, if you say stupid shit around me, I might be forced to report you to HR especially if there are witnesses. I need to mark a clear separation between friendship and leadership so when I give instructions you don't end up taking it lightly.
Can't really ping pong and bar hop like in the past. It's a balancing act and the optics can make some of us seem a bit colder than we actually are.