In most cases I find engineers are great people and friendly, maybe introverted but still friendly. On the other hand most managers tend to be fake friendly and less of what I would call a good person. Is this cause by the roll, or does the roll attract that type or something else?
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1. Take care of your people
2. Take care of yourself
3. Take care of your job
If you can't do 3 without doing 1 don't manage. Not sure why it's so hard
So no, managing doesn't make you bad.
But there's a perception and/or situations that causes managers to look like "bad managers":
1. an inexperienced manager dealing with though situations.
2. an underperformer that fails to recognize their issues and blame their manager (and everyone else). A good example is that sometimes you need to deliver feedback to someone who disrupt the team members who don't feel comfortable giving feedback.
3. sometimes there's a top down decision that needs to be carried out and managers are paid to execute it. even if it's downsizing/firing people - there's literally no one else but the managers who are responsible to carry this out whether they like it or not.
4. bad company culture creates bad habit (also happens to IC)
I however have slowed that on the small talk, if you say stupid shit around me, I might be forced to report you to HR especially if there are witnesses. I need to mark a clear separation between friendship and leadership so when I give instructions you don't end up taking it lightly.
Can't really ping pong and bar hop like in the past. It's a balancing act and the optics can make some of us seem a bit colder than we actually are.