Drunk d-bag at work

Uber
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Uber

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Uber, Google
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Jun 25 29 Comments

There’s this guy at work who I thought was being nice to me cause he genuinely wanted to be my friend and viewed me as a human. Then eventually I realized all he cared about was getting in my pants and just viewed me as a sexual object. On multiple occasions he’s gotten blind drunk at work parties, sleazed on to me and totally disrespected me. Then when I call him out on it the next day, he denies any wrong doing because he was drunk. I hate how he thinks that being drunk absolves him of responsibility and the need to apologize. Now I’ve stopped being polite to him in work conversations, and people are noticing. Now I’m worried someone will call me out on my impoliteness. I know the obvious thing to do is to just keep acting normal around him. But I hate how he expects no consequences and expects women to keep treating him normally after he treats them like shit. What should I do?

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TOP 29 Comments
  • Honeywell wellHoney
    Unfortunately work is work. You have to at least be professional.

    That however doesn’t mean harassment is ok and you should consider HR.
    Jun 25 0
  • Twitch giu37&(2
    Da fuq? Is this still happening at Uber? Definitely not ok and you should take action.
    Jun 25 0
  • E*Trade / Finance cbEV72
    Maybe consider slapping him with a fish on the spot. It’s not cool to be complaining next day and being impolite at work, it’s unprofessional
    Jun 25 5
    • Amazon / Eng eztP64
      What? So she is the one being unprofessional by calling him out for his bad behavior rather than him for being bad in the first place?
      Jun 25
    • E*Trade / Finance cbEV72
      Calling out? Nope, she’s just being cold to him. It’s not the same. If his behavior was bad enough she should have dealt with it on the spot.
      Jun 25
    • Amazon / Eng eztP64
      She may not have felt safe doing so on the spot if he was drunk and acting inappropriately. There are consequences for being a creep, drunk or not. If he finds it uncomfortable for her to be cold, maybe he should control himself.
      Jun 25
    • Amazon / Eng eztP64
      Exactly, it's not cool. Yet he has, according to OP, been blind drunk multiple times. Why is this OPs problem and not his?
      Jun 25
    • Intel D’s🥜
      The OP has 0 obligation to instantly absolve him of his wrong doing without acknowledging or apologizing for behavior. Owning your mistakes and making conscious decisions to improve is professional. It is professional to work to regain the trust of a coworker after your own transgressions.

      On the flip side, OP should not lash out - but has every right to hold disdain to the aggressor. You should not be expected to be tolerant of wrong doing from your coworkers. I don’t expect my company culture to tolerate wrong doing of my coworkers.
      Jun 25
  • Amazon / Eng eztP64
    If this guy gets drunk and acts inappropriately. Report him. Inebriation is no excuse.
    Jun 25 3
    • E*Trade / Finance cbEV72
      You should check the term _mens rea _
      Jun 25
    • Amazon / Eng eztP64
      So if I get pulled over for driving drunk, just yell "mens rea" out the window as I drive away?
      Jun 25
    • E*Trade / Finance cbEV72
      If you’re pulled in USA you better shut up and comply, with certain colors of skin it’s advisable to show your hands to an officer at all times
      Jun 25
  • Crew aXFh35
    Switch teams and don't stop ignoring him
    Jun 25 3
    • Microsoft not-a-dev
      So she needs to change teams because he is an idiot?
      Jun 25
    • Amazon YupYupYupY
      Agreed shouldn’t have to switch teams. That’s a horrible suggestion.
      Jun 26
    • Microsoft not-a-dev
      In reality that’s what happens too often. It shouldn’t however, it’s not fair
      Jun 26
  • Amazon +?
    "Now I'm worried someone will call me out on my impoliteness."

    If people know that you are being impolite because of his actions, that would excuse your impoliteness.

    You don't have to go into details if you don't want to. It is just to say you are not rude because of you.

    Also, If you don't treat everyone else impolitely, then it would stand out as something specific to a situation.
    Jun 25 0
  • Indeed getlikeme
    HR. Considering how things have shifted a bit for women, its enough to tell someone your story so they can record it and have a conversation with him. The odds are in your favor that at the very least someone will hear you and look into it.

    Don’t be surprise to learn this isn’t the first time. Men like that usually have a track record.
    Jun 25 0
  • Microsoft not-a-dev
    This is not cool, and sorry you’re going through this.

    I’d talk to HR. Do you have people and/or texts that can back you up? I would expect Uber in particular to be very sensitive on the topic given the things that happened there before.
    Jun 25 4
    • Uber
      dghjllllll

      Uber

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      Uber, Google
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      OP
      He has a reputation for being abit of a sleaze. Unfortunately my texts show evidence of me calling him out - and him denying it all, so it doesn’t back me up.

      Also - I’m worried even if I do HR, he can easily twist the story to say that I welcomed the advances and make me look like the evil one.
      Jun 25
    • Microsoft not-a-dev
      Yeah that’s a though spot.do you have people that could back you up?
      Jun 25
    • Uber
      dghjllllll

      Uber

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      Uber, Google
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      OP
      They could probably back me up in regards to him sleazing on to me. Actually people will probably think he had a cute innoncent crush on me - but they don’t know the extent he goes.

      Hmm maybe I’ll will call the confidential hotline first instead. Tbh I don’t care about whether he gets in trouble, but I hate how when I see him - I feel so angry, and then it affects my work because I’m not nice to him - and then everyone thinks I’m the horrible person
      Jun 25
    • Microsoft not-a-dev
      Sorry this sounds really awful and it’s not fair to you :(
      I hope this doesn’t go on for longer
      Jun 25
  • PayPal 🔔🔔69
    Tell your manager and hr right away. There are no consequences if nobody knows!
    Jun 25 0
  • Amazon YupYupYupY
    Tell HR.
    Jun 25 0
  • ViaSat / Design mark1650
    Next time knee him in the groin.
    Jun 25 0
  • Nike Iudh58
    That's why it's awesome we have mini recording devices with us at all times. Hit record on your phone next time he comes near you (or download a video camera app that records even when your screen is turned off to black), then if HR won't act on it lawyer up & enjoy the settlement $$$ during your year or more on a sandy beach in Mexico.
    Jul 23 1
    • Amazon YupYupYupY
      This is bad advice. You should check how many parties are required to give consent to record in your state before doing so.
      Jul 23
  • This comment was deleted by original commenter.

    • Amazon undertaker
      What if he replies "OK, your wish, Parking lot is fine"?
      Jun 25

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