I’m a female (non tech) who’s had a few run ins with a mysogonist peer that I’m expected to work closely with. I brought up a few of the more egregious examples of his behavior in a 1:1 with my manager, who immediately scheduled a 1:1 with the aggressor’s manager to share the feedback. The aggressor’s manager tried to play down the seriousness and even tried to blame me for being complicit in it. Now everything is out in the open but I feel like these three males are all trying to ignore the gendered issues and instead focus on general “communication improvements” we can make as a team (again implying that I’m an equal part of the problem). My team warned me that the aggressor’s manager has tried to sabotage their PSCs in the past and I’m worried I’m now in his line of fire. Is it worth raising this with my HRBP to have a paper trail ahead of PSCs? It’s my first PSC round and most people say you’ll get a meets all, but my team said that isn’t always the case. I read on Blind that approaching a HRBP can be dangerous for an IC. Are they just secret police, or will they give me decent advice/provide some protection in the event that my PSC goes pear-shaped?
We need a generic example of something that happened that won’t give away who you are.
Depends on the HRBP. I know some who were really nice and wanted to help things and make a difference and also others who sided with the manager by default. Remember at the end of the day, HRBPs work for the company. One of their jobs is to prevent the company from getting sued by employees.
I don't know your exact situation, so I can't advise on what's the best course of action, but you have to understand one thing: HR is not a resource to protect the employee, it's primary objective is protecting the company, so their disposition is usually avoid conflicts, not really resolve conflicts. That said, if you can build a case against this person and present it to HR, they will take action. Please review the Code of Conduct policy and Harassment policy (it's a subpolicy of the CoC)
Can you give us some examples of what the guy actually did or said? It would help us anonymous people to assess the situation in a non biased way. So far all you’ve told us is that there’s a disagreement and that he’s male and you’re female so therefor nobody should imply you did anything wrong. If it’s crystal clear that his behavior is sexist, you may succeed with HRBP. But if it’s a common disagreement and he just happens to be male, might not work. Give details
These are such specific situations that I don’t want to give away who I am. I’m certainly not suggesting that being female makes me right in any situation, but if it helps to validate things: my manager immediately told me this behavior is wrong, and the aggressor’s manager agreed. Their plan was to have his manager talk to him about bias and remind him of our culture. I feel like it’s the equivalent of sweeping it under the rug.
In your opinion, what would have been an acceptable response? Without knowing details, this sounds fairly appropriate. I’d be surprised if his manager wasn’t maintaining some record of it, so if the behavior continues, there will suitable repercussions.
My experience with HRBP is that they exist to protect the company from lawsuits. They can help you, but you need to be mindful that they're not automatically on your side. I wish you success. Oh also: record details. Those will help immensely in any conversation.
Document everything. Talk to him directly and tell him to stop the behavior. Go to the managers and report it, which you already did. If the bad behavior doesn't stop, go to hrbp. Document at every step of the way. And read up on code of conduct as your peer suggested. When you go to hrbp, you can then explain exactly how this guy violated the code with examples of how he did ir, and that going to the managers didn't work. Good luck.
Email Zuckerberg directly
document everything, but don’t expect hrbps to help. if you go to them expect and treat it like you are giving resignation because most likely it will end that way
Seriously, it’s that dire? I’m skeptical because others on my team have mentioned meeting with HRBPs semi-regularly and it hasn’t come to that.
obviously depends on the situation, but in my opinion and based on things i’ve seen in my career if the company is actually at fault and you haven’t seen any action taken or changes based on action taken the narrative can very quickly turn around on you if you stay persistent about bringing the issue up.
Don’t trust Blind advice too much. Most of the comments are posted by us immigrants who came after becoming an adult. We don’t understand the culture and subtle nuisance in many situations yet some are brave (aka dumb) enough to give an advice as if s/he has lived in this country for decades. OP, good luck. Read well written comments only. I can clearly see your writing is much better than almost of all of the comments. If I were you, I would ask real world friends and read the articles regarding this matter written by a professional.
Thanks for your comment :)
Tech Industry
16h
4859
Goog Employees Arrested
Cars
Yesterday
1661
Seattle people, what cars do you have? 🙂
Software Engineering Career
3h
2006
28 terrorist worshipping idiots just got themselves fired and I've never been prouder to work at Google.
Tech Industry
17h
1403
TC progression. Estimated to hit $1M+ this year. AMA
Tech Industry
Yesterday
778
Tried FSD for long drive 3000 miles. Its fuking awesome.
What do HRBP and PSC stand for?
Human Resources Business Partner
And Performance Summary Cycle...I think :/