I have a co-worker who I spend a lot of time hanging out with. We're not on the same team but in the same group of friends. We're both in our own relationships. The more time I spend with them the more I think about them. Sometimes I feel like they like me too but I know that's probably just wishful thinking. What can I do about this?
Edit: "they" is to hide their gender. Coworker is cute but not the type I normally find attractive. My relationship is unhappy but I never felt this with anyone else.
- Amazon / Creative403Subscribing. Will ping in a month to check on the status of this incoming clusterfuck.
- Probably just proximity theory..and also to escape the unhappiness in your own relationship
- Be honest with yourself and try to figure out what is really happening with you.
Are you happy in your current relationship?
Is this attraction you feel based on something that has changed about your relationship? If so, maybe you should talk to your partner about what you need and hear them out about what they need as well. We can all do a better job of maintaining and improving relationships.
Are you truly interested in your coworker or does the thought of it just seem exciting?
There are so many other questions you could ask yourself, but really what it comes down to is, what are you looking for? What would make your life work best, and how can you achieve that in a way that feels honest to you?
- Ok so then deal with your actual relationship. Don’t just transfer your hopes of a better situation onto Simone else just because you get along well and you wish your current relationship felt that way. Remember that you are part of the relationship too. So if it’s not going well part of that is on you. Just to be clear, I’m not blaming you for your relationship not making you happy. I am only pointing out that you are responsible for your own happiness and if you are in a relationship that isn’t making you happy and you are unwilling to work on making it change then that’s on you not the other person.
Simply put, don’t use another person as an excuse to end a relationship. If you want out then tell your partner it’s not working for you and why. Then go pursue something else if in fact you are romantically interested in the other person and not confusing friendship chemistry for romantic chemistry.
Admittedly this is all assuming that you are looking for a monogamous relationship. If you are not then that’s a different discussion entirely, but still one that needs to be had.
All that being said, I hope you figure things out.Mar 101
- Not a problem. My advice, and definitely take it with a grain of salt. Use the time you have to be more open and honest than you normally are. Don’t be mean, not assuming you are but sometimes people confuse being hyper honest with saying nasty things. It’s definitely uncomfortable, but if you are able to have really open conversations with someone even if it is leading up to the end of a relationship. It can in many cases make the process far less painful for everyone involved. Remember just because your romantic relationship is end is good doesn’t necessarily mean this person needs to be stricken from the record of your life.
All the best, internet friend.Mar 130
- Microsoft / EngquijiboNot to be a dick but I'm willing to bet this coworker is just being friendly and happens to be attractive, and you're complacent in what would probably be a pretty good relationship if you actually put some effort into it instead of fantasizing about your coworkers. Obviously I'm assuming a LOT here, but I've seen it happen a bunch of times, and it always has sounded something like this.
- Amazon donut-“Sometimes I feel like they like me too” - assuming you really meant a singular pronoun - you probably are reading/feeling it wrong. Think back on the times since young when you have felt this, and the people who have passed you by. You are in a r/s, if you want something else, clean up what you have first...