Sorry about this brain dump, I just feel like I need to let this out...
I make standard amount of fang tech salary (not a lot per blind standard) but I feel bad about how much I am making and how greedy I became when switching jobs / negotiating offers.
Last year my son’s daycare teacher got fired from an innocent incident. She held herself accountable and reported the incident herself. yet she got terminated. She’s a single mom raising two kids and came from a different country (she’s an immigrant, and a mom like me). I donated $500 dollars and helped her do the job posting to find a new nanny job. She’s making $25 an hour as a nanny with no benefits. That’s about $60k a year. And as the kids grow up, she will need to look for a new job again.
This really makes me sad. Am I really 5 times better than she is? Do I work 5 times harder? Am I generating 5 times more value to the society? Do I deserve the salary I am making? Despite this, when I am trying to switching jobs recently, my first reaction to a $350k offer was “lowball”. taking a pause looking at my life, I think I have a problem. I don’t appreciate enough the fact that I got the life I am living, and how lucky I am compared to other people in the world, even compared to many people who were still in my home country.
I maintain a very simple and non materialistic life style - buy clothes from h&m and Uniqlo, wear free t shirt often times, cook at home during weekends, never bought business class flights, and go to Walmart for household stuff. I feel contained with my lifestyle and don’t think more money will solve any of my problems, and yet I still want to make more money(maybe as proof of how much company values me?), all while feeling like I don’t deserve the money I am making at all.
Anybody ever felt this way at all..?
Sorry about this brain dump, I just feel like I need to let this out...
- Clover Health sinkinshipNo one deserves these things. It's capitalism at play. Let it motivate you to give back to the world. Be kind, loving, compassionate. Volunteer. Teach others these things through example. And two very important things: thank everyone and hate less.
- Airbnb junegoThank you. It is people of your kind pushing the society a better place to live.
- Symantec GoRamsYou didnt get ahead in the race to look back. Win it, then retire and do non-profit/volunteer
- FreeWheel sundayblindThere are people who make 10 or maybe 100 times more than you and they don't work any harder than you. Some of them don't even work.
- It’s $1 million & up. Think of famous billionaires: Gates, Zuck, Bezos, Buffett, etc. almost all are self made.
The data collected by the Stanley’s for The Millionaire Next Door & The Next Millionaire Next Door show inherited wealth tends to be spent in about 1 to 2 generations. There are some rich kids, but there are far more not in the US.
Those books are a great source for that low inheritance rate. They’ve tracked it back to the early 1900’s.
There’s also this study:
And yes many of these people just saved. But most started businesses or were service professionals (doctors, lawyers, accountants).
- Donate it! I make $400k/y and donate $300k/y. Not only do I not struggle with feeling guilty about my good fortune, it's given me a pretty compelling reason to push myself at work. I'm actually making a difference!
- nice! I am running a small non-profit to try and make free mobile games for kids that teach about climate change, ecology, and what possible future decisions the kids can do when they grow, to help humanity. Would you join as one of our patrons on Patreon? :)
P.S. lol I'm trying to run all of that with my poverty-line 140 TC :D but we already have a good prototype of our first game that we plan to release this year.5d1
- By the way, regarding that: "Wow. How do u make sure your money is being used well? That’s what I struggle with while making big donations."
It's a very good question. IMHO non profits who live on donations should have their financial records and organization bank account activity open for public inspection.
I think that in every organization there are people who will attempt to profit personally from the donations, more than what they care about their causes. And it's not necessarily happens at the top, budgets can get eaten somewhere on their way through the organization. And someone needs to audit all expenses, best auditor are the public, the people who donate.Yesterday1
- I had this weird idea of having all org bank in\out transactions log posted online so anyone (or at least the patrons, members on Patreon who are donating) can see full activity and decide whether they like it or not. If they disagree with something (for example a game is being developed that is against their ideologies) they can stop donating.
But I'm not sure whether it's legal to display (because it'll show also the graphic artists and developers who got paid and how much) but it's possible to mask real names\ids with ***** , and show only the balance and how much got in and got out. This will have live comments by the core team who initiated a payment, in a few words what this transaction was about (like "updated textures for characters":2700$, "3D model of oil rig":700$). The comments will be left voluntarily by the team members, but a public can demand explanation by marking a transaction (clicks on "?" Icon for example, we'll have it near each record)Yesterday0
- Snapchat uOkV57You have a good heart OP.
I think you should NOT feel bad about your TC, if companies pay you that much to work for them, your work is valuable and well worth more than for the price they pay. I understand your frustration and IMO, part of it comes from inequality of wealth distribution, part of it comes from inequality of education system, and there’s more to be factored in such as luck, opportunity and resources.
It’s hard to fight the system, you can’t change inequality right away. But if you truly want to help out, don’t just offer money, offer the resources needed for this busy mom to acquire skillset, help her advance her career than just a nanny. This is also not an easy task but it’s a much much more sustainable path.
- Microsoft xigocatomoreWhen I was young, my Aunt and Uncle had an in house maid (common for middle class in low income countries) who was super hardworking and smart. So, when my cousins left the house, they pay her tuition to learn Windows and Office. Today she is manager at a large telecom...
You can’t fight the system, but you can make a differenceMay 1614
- MailChimp cICL00Just remember Bezos made $65 million in the time it took you to write that post and gave it to no one.
- Square jTCr61Jeff Bezos is probably the worst example you could've picked for this... https://www.cnn.com/2019/02/26/tech/jeff-bezos-philanthropy-trnd/index.html
- This makes me feel good to read - it’s a nice respite from the usual garbage from entitled tech employees. I’m glad someone else thinks critically and with maturity and perspective about this.
I’d say don’t feel bad necessarily - you’re living well in the world as it currently exists and shouldn’t fault yourself; it wouldn’t help anyone for you to arbitrarily take an 80% pay cut because really no-one is better off in that case. Add positive value through donations of time and/or money with the freedom you’ve been granted.
- Fun fact: studies show that as a whole Republicans give far more charity than Democrats. At the same time, Democrats are more vocal about their giving than Republicans so again, it all comes down to virtue signaling on the left.
- It’s a book by a left wing researcher/author/professor who set out to prove conservatives were less charitable but discovered the opposite. It’s called Who Really Cares.
“Arthur C. Brooks is Louis A. Bantle Professor of Business and Government Policy at Syracuse University's Maxwell School of Citizenship and Public Affairs. The author of Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism, Brooks writes widely about the connections between culture, politics, and economic life in America, and his work appears frequently in the Wall Street Journal and other publications. He is a native of Seattle, Washington, and currently lives in Syracuse, New York, with his wife Ester and their three children.”
- The author is President of aei which is a conservative think tank, he isn't a liberal researcher. That's just a lie. Even if it's not a lie the op is clearly misinformed so I wouldn't take his word seriously.
I didn't read all the detail but it sure sounds like his survey wasn't a representative sample, if so it doesn't generalize to anything. There's no external validity.
Quora has also identified a number of issues with his methods https://www.quora.com/Is-the-book-Who-Really-Cares-The-Surprising-Truth-About-Compassionate-Conservatism-based-on-accurate-research
It's an opinion piece not rigorous research and it's never been replicated. So yeah... Science.May 167
- This doesn't surprise me because it is a conservative mindset that charity should be handled by society/individuals and a liberal mindset that the government should be responsible for the welfare of its people. There is no right or easy answer to this, either. Some examples:
Veterans with PTSD: Is it up to the VA to help them or is it up to individuals and charitable organizations?
The caregiver OP mentioned: is it up to the government to provide her with job assistance and food stamps and surplus food during her time of transition or should the government step out and let charitable food banks and relief organizations help?
There is no correct answer. I wish you would see how wrong it is to point fingers at the other side and use Ben Shapiro buzzwords, though. Saying "conservatives are better because _____" is virtue signaling too.
- The author started out as a liberal and is now an independent. Geez, do some actual research. FYI Quora doesn’t count, Wikipedia is far more reputable than Quora which is universally accepted as where unqualified Indian SWEs go to ask questions about the job they should already know how to do so let me put this in words you’ll understand... do the needful and revert back 🤣
More examples, the book is mentioned but also another group that found the same thing. Article written by liberal at NYT: https://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/21/opinion/21kristof.html
- You make so many assumptions it's laughable. I'm saying his methods are flawed. I guess you can just make ad hominem attacks, racist comments (no I'm not Indian you fucktard and it wouldn't matter if I was) and cite opinion pieces instead of use your brains. Also did it ever occur to you socialist counties give less to charity because their government's doing the work? Or they give less because they have less disposable income? Total individual dollars don't matter because their entire political system is more charitable and gross income doesn't account for cost of living factors. What matters in this country is giving as a percent of your actual disposable income. None of your "evidence" speaks to that. Now I've explained to you like you're five. Good day, troll.
- I work hardly and I do bring value. I learned hardly to get where I am now. I was leaving on 20$ a week in California (can u do this?) for several years when I was studying. I did not have any fun for 4 years, no handouts with friends, no travel of any kind, just 4 walls and books. But now I can afford a lot.
Why we should pitty ppl who had fun instead of learning and now they are broken. She still can go to school and raise her market value. They are doing low qualified job and getting paid accordingly. She can benefit from walfare. Ppl are paying taxes for this.
- You have done well considering where you started from but life does not deal the same cards to everyone - some people are even less fortunate then you are and not everyone has the same opportunities or fortitude to put in the effort to pull themselves out of their dire situation. We should have empathy for others no matter how successful we become. That’s basic humanity and without it we lose the core essence of being humans. What we take with us is not as important as what we give to others and leave behind when we die. We came with nothing and we will go with nothing. It’s ok if one doesn’t want to help others as it’s their choice but at the end of the day we are all in this together and we should make a difference if we have the good fortune and opportunity to do so.May 1617
- You cannot live on 20$ a week while having a kids. Also, making sure you raise a kid properly is ridiculously hard and consuming. Two of my cousins are each married, have kids, and are both going to school for an NP license. Their lives are in shambles at the moment and each of them they have to luxury of 2 incomes. Studying at that level requires a lot of time and effort as well as all of the parental duties that are part of raising young kids. Before you prescribe, it’s better to attempt to understand first. Not everyone has the opportunity or affinity to learn the specific field that happens to be paying well this decade.
- Sorry too much grotesque virtue signaling to read this whole thing. About lost my dinner just making it through the OP 🤮
- It's funny how many of you tell this person how they should feel about their experience.
No nobody here deserves to make half a million bucks to make some shitty app that gets people addicted and substitutes screen time for real social connection. For every problem you solve you create 10 more. Making a feature that's used by a million people who go on to feel little more depressed and isolated each day isn't creating value for the world. Just cause you work at scale don't mean anything you do is inherently more valuable than someone who works with a sample of 1. You're just ascribing it more value.
The economy works the way it does because we agree it should. We could also decide to pay some professions more, but political parties choose not to do it. We as citizens don't demand it. Economics is something we agree on and we can change it by actions and policy. There is no natural economic law despite the fact there's math involved.
It's rewarding to donate your time and money, keep it up. You have empathy and that's good, despite what some of the mutants here want you to believe.
Flagged by the community.
- Amazon / Engdock thisLmaoooo you understand he’s joking right? The economy isn’t some constructed thing, it’s an aspect of reality that we try to understand. It makes as much sense as “the ecosystem is a Jewish creation” only his comment is a parody of conspiratorial anti-semitism.
Then again I may be giving Albertsons way too much credit, and they are indeed a dumb racist, who knows?
Flagged by the community.
- Facebook / DesignDanziggymoreOr, take the money and invest in specific goals... Help that lady to start making her own preschool... Donate cash and tech skills to orgs that help single mothers get high paying jobs. The feelings that you have are a call to action. The action does not have to be quiting.May 154
- Oracle 66ggff44That is the way of life. Some people make 10x or even 100x your TC, sometimes without even working. We all go through some guilt trip sometimes. We should feel grateful and give back to the community as much as we can. Also remember opportunity and resources make a huge difference.May 151
- It makes me feel relieved to see comments like this. Too much time on Blind can convince you tech is 100% sociopaths, and you're a loser for having feelings. TC at every level in tech is ridiculous, we need more empathy, and more support as a society for people who struggle.
- Amazon rhdbxiDumbest post ever. If you feel bad, please donate it to me, I’ll gladly take it and continue adding it to my wealth :)
I’ll DM you my PayPal so you can start the transfer immediately.
- LinkedIn ex-fbYoe 6, TC: 350
I don’t think getting into FANG and being a swe is some great accomplishment. Anyone who can hell afford tuition for college can easily make it (and not they hard even if you can’t pay for college but can afford a laptop)
So I never thought I’m more deserving, just that I’m more lucky.
Linkedin and Facebook are not run by morons to pay me so much if they don’t have to. And that’s not my problem.
Lastly, who cares for luxury cars or hundreds of dollars worth dinners?! Not me for sure!
The more I earn, the better is my ability to make the world a better place and also pursue personal interests.
Becoming rich and donating the money is way better and more impactful than working a low wage job in a non profit and public sector jobs. Some people think EMTs, soldiers etc serve the society, but Bill Gates would have saved more lives than a dozen doctors!
- When I saw the headline I thought- oh great -another whiny little b!#& crying about not making enough.
Pleasantly surprised with your post and perspectives.
We need more of that on Blind.
- Zillow Group CroissantsWe should be grateful for our salaries in tech. I'm donating 20% of extra savings every year. I hope to get more involved with how the money is spent so that I give the money to the causes/people I'm supporting and not just go through the regular charities.
- Capital One / EngTXrR83So there's this guy called Karl Marx, he wrote some stuff, I highly recommend it. Also she is more important than you and should be paid accordingly.
- Google AI SnotFirst off, you are not going to add 5x value or even 2x, compared to a teacher or fireman. Your TC is reflective of a demand and supply equation. There are more teachers and nannies, thus commodifying the skillet, as compared to you, who happens to be top of the value chain for a limited period of time. Sometime in the future, AI or younger, faster coders with better skill sets may replace you. You have the privilege of being valued more in society. You can fee better by giving back. Volunteer, donate, teach, mentor to help those less fortunate get a jumpstart in life. The very fact that you introspecting is encouraging.
- I have the same feeling with 650k. My parents worked 10 times harder. I see people in other industries who work much harder and are smarter. I just think I am lucky with the right job at the right time. Will start donating to feel better. Thanks for sharing your honest opinion OP. Respect that!
- Microsoft Cogito$Offer to pay for classes to get your friend to upskill into the tech sector - so that she can learn new skills and create a new career for herself. Doesn’t have to be SWE if that doesn’t appeal to her, lots of network/arch/consulting/design careers that will deliver better income for her and her kids.
It can always be thought of as an extended loan that she can pay back when she has a new career, depending on how well you know each other.
Teach people how to fish.
- Netflix isitmeI totally feel for you. I feel terrible for being so tall, tanned and beautiful. Ugly people deserve to be beautiful like me. I feel disgusted with myself. You can't imagine how I wish I was at least a little bit average. Sorry I needed to get this off my chest. Please help🙁
- Snapchat eeXB43Taking care of kids is really hard. I have to take care of my daughter once a week, and it is harder than when I am oncall.
- I make half what you do. I think about my parents who work multitudes harder and longer than me and together make 75% of what I make. I feel how you're feeling everyday.
The fact is, you need certain amount of money to live a regular Joe life. Anything above that is excess and will help you buy luxury. A slightly larger house, a brag worthy logo on your car, a smart watch etc etc.
The underlying question is - does that excess money buy happiness?
In my opinion, a combination of good friends, community service, helping the less fortunate, going to the place of worship, good relationships and good health are responsible for happiness beyond that regular Joe pay check.
- Goldman Sachs not_djSolJust curious why are teachers in states paid so low? Even in a developing country like mine, teachers earn good money. Sometimes more than what entry level engineers do.
- New / Designfk specismmoreI feel the same way and I make less that you. I donated $70k last year to animal rights organizations. I still feel bad, but getting involved and donating makes me happy, although I do it for the animals and the planet, not for me.
Maybe you should try something similar.
- Wayfair sin()I’m glad to see that some people here feel the same as you OP. My views on developers at this point are entirely negative seeing how they all think they’re underpaid making 3-5+ times what I make, and putting in half as much work. I have a CS degree and it’s not what I want to do with my life, but I’ve worked too much in this field to see the greed that’s taken over so many people here, and the amount of disrespect to those who make less, while still asking for more. Be sure that you enjoy what you’re doing, that you aren’t bored, and just don’t let the money get to your head. In the end, that never works out for anyone.
- Amazon broke&dumbDo you think Bezos deserves 100 billion dollars?
Nobody deserves that insane money.
But it's not your fault that wealth inequality exists.
- It’s not how much you earn. It’s what you do with it. In the last 20 years I’ve given away more than a million $. Give to charities, be a force for good in the community, protect the weak from the strong. Money itself is not bad, nor is negotiating hard. Remember “he who dies with the most toys is still dead” it’s not about things, or goals. It’s about relationships and enjoying the journey. Enjoy the journey, take pleasure in helping others.
30yoe. 750k tc
- Push for a living wage and universal healthcare. Separating health care from employment will be a boon for society and spending money promoting this type of change is far better than donating directly to those less fortunate.
- This. Though not sure about living wage for quite some time. Universal Healthcare would be HUGE though. In addition to helping the poor, think of how much innovation would happen as super smart folks would not not feel tied to their jobs because of company provided health insurance
- MGM Resorts BionicManI agree we need universal healthcare. It would increase worker mobility instead of forcing people to work for a certain employer because of healthcare benefits. I disagree with a living wage but instead think there should be universal income something sort of like social security/welfare for all.
- I never said privileged people don't work hard. Imo basically everyone in the US works way too hard to begin with, both the McDonald's worker and the software engineer. Doesn't change the fact that privilege plays a big role in how much money you make for your hard work, or that we're allowed to talk about it w/o being hypocrites.
- Workday slotaThe bay area screws normal people, I really don't see how the people at restaurants, grocery stores, etc survive or how they plan on surviving. Bay area is a fucked up place to live in. The nanny should just move.
- New / EngRLBk13Yeah lets be honest, tech jobs are pretty easy and frankly very over paid. Just think of it as a gold rush. The insane salaries will dry up. In the meantime you have so much ability to donate to cause you care about. Donate some money. I have recurring donations to a few charities.
Also vote. Vote for people to pay teachers better. Support teachers when they strike. Support workers when they strike.
- Considering how much money these companies make from our efforts, knowledge, experience, etc. I think we are underpaid. Definitely people in other professions like teachers, nurses, firefighters, etc. should be paid a comfortable living wage as well for what they contribute to the society. The two are not mutually exclusive. A more equitable world will lead to more happiness and less discontent.
- Apple tooooooI won’t say my job isn’t worth the money I get, but I would say the gap in incomes is too much. The gap between my income and a teacher’s is too much, and between everyone and CEOs or others with vast wealth that makes more wealth is definitely wayyyyy too much.
That said, I don’t support teacher’s unions. I think they led to abundance of lazy and ineffective teachers.
- Amazon ZmaaonHere you go my bank account:
Transfer your money in or GTFO!
- I moved from Europe to the US because where I am from being better off than a guy next door is wrong. I just hope this country doesn't follow the suit and instiutionalize the guilt of being better than others. I am of an opinion that people shall be responsible for the decisions they make. And, yes, life's not fair.
- A lot of these guys chose partying over reading books and taking classes. I feel for those whose cognitive abilities are worse than mine, but, sorry, I refuse to feel guilty for being smarter or being rewarded with more money for working my ass off in school and working long hours when others went looking for their inner selves in Gia and Nepal, and you can call me medieval all you like
- There’s a difference that can’t be solved overnight. It’s a culture thing in general. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get more for doing more, I’m saying that should never have been the thought process you went for. It’s a thing that can only be changed over several generations of forward-thinking individuals, innovators, and leaders. We’re living in the past, with a concept we can’t get past in our heads.
- This post makes me laugh. Volunteer your time and help people like the teacher make themselves more valuable to make more money. You're not even making that much money. Most people are one incident away from bankruptcy. What happens if the same incident happened to you. Would your kids be fine? Unless you have an automated income source you should probably look at your own situation before feeling guilty. Get your income on cruise control, then use your time freely to help less fortunate people.
- Move bdvsjzishA true first world problem - stop whining and start acting - you claim feel bad for the teacher? If you really care about people which you clearly don’t you could use the money you so much dont need to change lives - start a nonprofit with that mission- truth is you’re a greedy mtfcker and you don’t really care - you donated $500 lol it’s like 3h of your time. That how much you care for her
- Amazon aXiN38I think this post is really brave and vulnerable. It sounds like you are a very compassionate person, as well as someone who also knows how to get what they want and is driven. I’m curious what money means to you... you mentioned you are content, but you still want more. I think that’s pretty normal, but why do YOU think that is? And where does the belief come from that you don’t deserve the money you make?
All of this is just coming from a curious place, not an interrogation whatsoever :)
- How long before SJWs start demanding we recognize our unconscious "paid guilt" biases?