My career is mostly fine, but I noticed that everywhere I go, I end up being excluded by the other team members: they take all the work leaving me with scraps (I effectively always have to hunt hard to find work to do), they reach all decisions without sharing them with me, and even when a person has a technical question about some parts that I personally worked on, many times they just go ask it to another team member who doesn’t have as much context as me on that specific part, and just use me as a fallback if nobody really knows the answer. I like to think I’m not a jerk and I try to always help and explain things when asked. I never reply with terse sentences or annoyed. From a technical point of view I’m not the best developer but I can get stuff done, passes code reviews and I can leetcode. What do you think might be the reason? This has happened with different teams, so the constant must be me. TC: 350k, 8yoe
Are you a female? This happened to few my my female friends
Male, white.
This is a very rare case!! A white male being excluded??
Do you give the answer in a concise manner someone can understand? Are you approachable? I usually avoid people who are prone to go off on tangents or if they’re arrogant I avoid them too.
I give enough details to make people understand the full context, and not go on a tangent. And yes, I like to think I’m approachable. I smile when they ask me stuff and try to be welcoming in my body language.
Do you have any hunch as to why?
Absolutely not. Interestingly enough it hasn’t affected my career, in the sense that I keep receiving good feedback by management, along with raises and such. Managers are generally happy about me (I have good communication skills so I’m able to explain well technical aspects), it’s just team mates who exclude me.
Are you vocal about this situation? Maybe sometimes you are too quite? I would voice it, or say things louder to have people notice me
If you're more on the experienced side, people might feel comfortable trying to solve things themselves and avoid bothering you. One way to overcome barriers is to take your immediate reports out to a team lunch where absolutely no work - related topics are discussed. This could help you seem more personable. (Just my $0.02)
Maybe.. whenever they ask questions, encourage and say it's a good question. Also maybe talk about your past failures, learning struggles. Might make you sound more approachable and relatable.
Do you socialize and shoot the shit with your co-workers ? Or are you all business ? I was the latter and people generally wouldn't approach me unless their job demanded it.
May be your team members are too junior with more authority. May be they are too senior and have not kept up with latest greatest so people see you as threat . It could also be you are too passionate about things and when you voice things it can come in different way to others
Honest suggestion - really make sure you don't have bad breath. It could be a long shot, but if someone has terrible breath it's a good reason to avoid face to face conversations. Related question then: do people just avoid face to face conversations or also chat/Slack questions?
I’m sorry to hear this. Are you often the most junior person on the team?
No, quite the opposite. I am pretty senior and most people respect my skills. They just exclude me.
Are you a jerk that folks don't like you?