Feeling lonely, empty, sad and lacking self-confidence to make new friends as I had earlierJan 4
I went through a break up 1.5 years ago, may be because of long distance, not sure. Still that pain exists.
I am not really up for a relationship right now.
Since I transitioned from school to a full time job, I have lost touch with most of my friends. May be because I relocated and so did most of my friends. All I do is wake up, browse Facebook, see 1-2 friends getting hitched every other day, get ready for work, come back and just browse the internet. I am facing depression as well because I have nothing to look forward to in life since a few years.
I am gaining weight, getting lazy and lonely with each passing day. Is there a cure for this? I miss my friends and family but they are far away. Most of my friends seem to be busy in their lives, and the rest of them married, even if they were not, all they can do it speak to me on phone.
Big void, emptiness haunts me everyday. Friends and family think I am very successful and all but I am a looser in my own eyes.
Does this phase come in everyone's life at school-->work transition? Is there a solution to this? What is the route to true happiness?
Serious responses only please!
- Microsoft solusan@mkcOwhatever Break-up happens. You're not the only one and 1.5 years seems to be a long time.
Stop that "if I can't be happy myself..." BS. Go on dates, meet new people, make new friends of both gender, pick up a new hobby, travel, go to pubs with your new friends, start working out.
It's easy to stay alone in your free time but this will only worsen your situation. Do something with your life or you'll regret it later that you wasted your youth crying over someone who doesn't give a shit about you.Jan 60
- Lyft aWBv38Making friends is hard. PC / snowflake work environment makes everyone act fake at work. Add to that cultural differences where cliques stay together. Work used to be a great place to socialize and even date!
- I’m in that phase right now, I’m hoping switching job and location will help me. At least for a bit.
- Putting a goal for myself to switch job to a better one made that feeling to be less painful since I have hope and I’m working on myself (leetcode) to get a job so I get less time to feel lonely. Maybe if you put a goal for yourself for the next few months, maybe get in shape since you noticed you are gaining weight. That will help you mentally and also could open your eyes to other things.
- 1 word: workout.
It worked for me very well. I dont see a reason it wouldnt work for you. Chase specific body image goals, get your calories under chexk, read up on macros and shit. Chase that greek bod. Give it 2 years. 1 year in youll be out of depression .
Flagged by the community.
- Go to a therapist and start taking vitamin D and get one of those LED lamps. Sleep better. Get a dog. Get a higher TC. Travel, go home and see your family more often. Exercise more.
It sounds like you’re depressed and still grieving the relationship. These two things can coexist and exacerbate each other. At least work on the depression which can be a chemical imbalance. Seattle can do that to people.
- 1) I’m suggesting it could be chemical imbalance caused by lack of sun light hence the light therapy lamp and vitamin d. I went to east coast recently and felt much happier and right when I flew back and saw clouds in Seattle and it got dark at 4 pm I felt blue. The lamp simulates more sun.
2) Mental health professional, can be any kind of therapist like a psychologist or social worker. You can start with a cognitive behavioral therapist or you can go to one that specializes in break ups or self esteem. What I’m saying is seek professional help and talk to someone about your issues.
- Salesforce lozeremoreDark chocolate helps. Cannabis oil.
This stuff is hard. N heart breaks later I still deal with it as badly as after the first one, maybe worse as I grow older, because lesser friends and raging biological clock. What helps me is to allow myself to feel sad. Don't set up high standards for yourself. If you come home and do nothing but watch TV it's ok - not a big deal. For me, I paint and play the violin. It helps me emote. Find what helps you - for some it's running, boxing, etc.
Also: Don't expect to be fully over your break up for you to move on. It may not happen. I've taken upwards of three years to get over relationships. If you find someone good, give the person a chance to be in your life. Another thing I learnt to follow - don't hold your future as ransom to your past.
Also, I'm off social media. I figured I don't need to know who gets married, makes babies, graduates or who's kid has a birthday party. It doesn't help me. Also people only put the best parts of their lives up there. I feel so much better after almost 3 years of barely any social media.
- 1. I found reading very rewarding, unlike venting to a friend or therapist, it gives you new perspectives to live on.
2. Still talk to a therapist, it’s good support.
3. Make a change on your diet and start exercising, no matter how down you are at least you are not hating your body. Plus, changing your body does affect your mental, it’s real.
- Says someone who’re on the same boat.
- New lsDz32Feel you brother. Do a lot of rest and do one step at a time. One day just do 2 pushups, next day 3, or treadmill. One weekend go and get your favorite food from place bit far so you will drive listening favorite songs, come home binge watch shows. If want to talk to someone message me.
As all said minimize Facebook this is root of envy in society.
- I'm male and i can fill your void :P . JK Buddy!
Put some goals, work toward them, meet new people and fill your time.
Also, feel free to talk with me ;)
- Cisco queen👸🏻Find a therapist and talk to them. When you talk about your feelings to someone and write what you feel in a journal it will slowly and holistically heal you. Meet your doctor to assess how depressed you are. There is no heart ache which you cannot overcome if you want to. Just be brave !
And like others said stay away from social media and other sources that depress you.
- Microsoft QwpoExercise, gym, martial arts etc. regularly. Eat clean, very super clean. Make this year about bettering yourself in every way and enjoying your time. Sleep enough. Go out when asked to join. Reach out to friends. Stop browsing Facebook in the morning. Exercise or work on something for yourself. Adopt a pet. Volunteer at a shelter.
- AMD GDKa06In general I have seen that in life you tend to get caught in upward or downward spirals. When things are going well, more good comes around. It is easier to more when you are uplifted. When things are down, it tends to get worse. YOU have to work to break the downward spiral. Make a decision right now to do something different that you don't necessarily feel like doing but theoretically know is supposed to help. Like exercise. Like going for a meetup. Like reading a book or investing time in a friendship. You have to snap out of the downward spiral on your own by doing something different. Because your regular routine is clearly not working. Best.
- Sovos $$$???Transitioning from college to adult life tends to narrow one’s world. Try a new hobby that will put you in contact with new people! If it involves exercise, even better - exercising regularly will make you feel better! E.g. yoga class, tennis, kickboxing, volleyball, biking/running club.