Feeling put down by people in high places
I started this job 6 months ago. Moved cross country, started totally fresh. Felt great at the time. It's a great job. I work in a small team that develops software for a much larger organization. There is a person, a Senior Engineer, who I work with daily on various tasks. He seems like a generally distant person, but I really feel like he's been putting the barbs towards me since day 1. Some things that made me feel frustrated: Constantly being shut down for speaking up contributing new ideas (online and in person, where people can see) Being dismissive and ever-so-slightly condescending in conversations, digital and face-to-face Being generally unhelpful and unresponsive to queries for help or requests for feedback Just generally not being 1% as welcoming as the rest of the team has been!! Like WTF!! Man, I don't need to be worshipped. I just want respect. And I'm earning that among my other team members, and it makes me SO happy. But this guy is just dragging me down and it is killing my vibe and love of this job. He's untouchable. He's been there forever and he has a part in everything the larger organization does. I can't make a complaint, who'd care? He's worth a lot to them. Anyhow, just strugglin' with feelings of inadequacy while fighting so hard to make my mark on the world. Advice request: How can I do my job and grow as an engineer and as a person while this dude is negging me constantly?!
The Schmuck in My Office: How to Deal Effectively with Difficult People at Work https://www.amazon.com/dp/125007567X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_U8lUDb8FDHH4S
More importantly, how could you live with yourself working at QL? Look for a different company. And not in DT either, Dan owns everything there.
This is everyone on my team, except one. Talking to people probably won’t help, as you seem to know. You will probably need to switch teams if he’s too much to deal with. My sympathies, and good luck.
It’s his way of keeping his territory. You are stepping on someone else’s ground. Lots of seniors are like that. They are afraid they could lose the power struggle so they hold on to as much as they can.
Is this person a jackass to everyone else? Hate to say it by there are a lot “little man syndrome” types in software engineering. I just ignore them. It’s rather sad that some people’s validation in life is some app or lines of code that no one really cares about 😂. From what you described it sounds like you’ll be able to take comfort in the fact that they will be still miserable and complaining at that job long after you moved on to 3 other companies and have gotten 5 promotions 😁. Ive seen it happen plenty of times.
This person has ego issues and you’re about to get yourself wrapped up in politics. 🚩Document everything 🚩
I think this guy is acting this well because he is insecure. He is seeing a new and young person is showing up and feels his days are numbered. My recommendation is to simply ignore him and have the minimum required interactions.
This most pernicious case is the one you are facing, OP. Not obvious or wide-spread enough that others can see it/ would easily believe if you brought it to their attention, but not minor enough that you can just ignore it and go about your day. It's people like these who make their team-members' lives miserable. Have a very similar situation in my team. My advice would be to look for another opportunity. People greatly underestimate the importance of having a supportive team. They can make or break your professional life. This person is not going to change or leave because he has inside support. So unless you can play a political game and turn the tables in your favor, please look for another opportunity and leave. It's not worth it.
Talk to him, talk to the manager, talk to the skip level, in that order, moving to the next one if the previous one didn't solve the problem. If the manager doesn't show signs of being supportive, start preparing to change teams or jobs.