We dated twice. It didn’t work out because our expectations for relationship are different. We still want it to work out but clearly we need to solve the expectation issue first. Is it possible for people to manage expectations so we could find a common ground? What’s your thoughts on being friends instead?
TC or GTFO. Do I get any points for saying this?
You got some likes.
Don't do it
There’s a reason you split. Don’t forget that. Also there are over 7bn ppl you’re bound to find one who doesn’t need to change to be the right one for you.
What kinds of expectations are we talking about here? "Keep your toothbrush inside the drawer and not out on the sink" type stuff, or "I want three babies and you want no kids" type stuff?
Your money is our money and my money is mine
*shudder* that's some bad stuff
Same shits are gonna happen again. Move on. I know it’s hard. Once you find someone new, you won’t think twice about this.
There is no such thing as “just friends”. Our minds can’t be compartmentalised. What do you and the person want from the relationship? It’s not going to be a one time conversation that you have to find this out and move forward. Figuring your own self out is a longer and harder process. It’s much easier to expect the other person to know what they want out of the equation. If you want to invest your time and energy in finding out where it’s headed, do that. But be conscious of what you are doing. Use this time for self exploration. What are you really wanting out of this ex ? Unpleasant answers might surface, but it’s still progress.
In that last two times, after we broke up we didn’t talk for a year before we talked again. And we both dated others in that break. The expectation difference: one side wants to spend a lot of time together. But the other side can’t because of different priorities in life at this stage.
Seriously OP, don't commit the same mistake I committed.
What do you mean by "a lot of time"? In theory that's something you can compromise on but given that you've already broken up twice over it I'm not sure a third time is going to make any difference
There is a very nice podcast by dr Esther Perel on iTunes. She’s a renowned couples counsellor/author. I listen to it sometimes to review my own expectations from my partner.
If you’re simply talking about time expectations, it’s something that two adults should be able to work out. If you can’t do that for each other, then a more serious relationship can’t happen. Be friends? Sounds like there are some selfishness issues to work out first.
Pump and dump
This!!