Relationships

Getting a prenup with Indian fiance

Google 5'10Indian
7d

We both work in the US. Can other 5'0" to 6'6" Indians who are married or have fiancees revert back with their thoughts on getting a prenup?

She's a sweet girl, and I plan to be with her in the long run, but I need an insurance policy if she walks away 10 years down the line. (My TC could eventually end up becoming 10x hers if I move into management).

However, she is worried when I bring it up, and I understand her point of view as well, given that divorces are still rare in south India where we both are from, and she feels that it will make it easy for me to walk away instead of fighting for the marriage if we hit a rough patch. How should I do the needful?

TC: 🌲fiddy for me, 100k for her.

comments

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  • Microsoft Porchse
    A prenup is one foot in divorce court. If you have apprehensions about her loyalty. Do. Not. Marry. Her.

    Fuck her and enjoy it. 🤙
    7d6
    • Apple KGHP41
      This is solid advice.
      7d
    • Intel burrrp
      Nice to hear this advice. I feel prenup and stuff are things when you don't fully trust the other person. Again it depends on each individual
      7d
    • LinkedIn Wolverine5
      Good advice
      7d
    • Uber Deer
      Not good advice. People change. especially over the course of an entire lifetime
      7d
    • Google 5'10Indian
      OP
      I've seen too many people I trust do malicious things, and people I mistrust do generous things, to keep faith in trust alone. People change over time. So, while you should always hope for the best in people, also be prepared for the worst.
      7d
    • Amazon Jеff Bezоs
      That’s bullshit advice. Do not get a prenup only if you trust the government to make the right decisions for you about how your assets should be redistributed.
      7d
  • LinkedIn Xr6cF3
    Marriage is for life. Prenups are for quitters. You are literally planning your exit before even starting your marriage. Your fiancé is right to be worried about it.
    7d3
    • Dexcom xXhT11
      The marriage system has become so unfair to men that any man who gets married in the modern era would be nuts not to have one.
      7d
    • Uber hotboi
      ^ troof
      7d
    • LinkedIn Xr6cF3
      Making a total commitment to another person for life is already “nuts” arguably. If you’re going to get married, go all in.
      7d
  • Google UJBa23
    I told my wife it’s like an insurance. You buy an insurance with the hopes you’ll never need it. But if shit happens you are happy you were insured.
    Same with marriages. Of course you don’t get married with the hopes of divorcing. But life is full of incidents, many of which can break solid marriages. If that happens, you both will be happy you had a prenup
    7d9
    • New ktFx33
      But why get married then in the first place? Why not stay unmarried? Sure the tax advantage is compelling but it feels like you’re locking her in without holding up your end of the deal. Part of marrying is that it’s a huge commitment and IMO that also means sharing your future wealth
      7d
    • Medallia hFEH36
      whatever happened to equality
      7d
    • Blizzard others
      I Heard of marriages were the child unfortunately pass at a young age and both the parents resent each other or are just broken and divorce. Life throws curveballs, money is just another issue that can easily be safeguarded if something happens.
      7d
    • New ktFx33
      Yes many marriages fall apart in case of death of a child. Sad fact. But I don’t find fear or prenups a good foundation for a healthy marriage. Keep in mind money is only split in case of divorce for future wealth not current
      7d
    • Google UJBa23
      There’s stress, mental and physical injuries, death of relatives, relocation, change of jobs, loss of jobs, difficult children, etc etc
      I’ve seen divorces were it got really ugly and nasty with kids being used to get more money from the other side. Add some daily drama and blaming to it and you’ll see the value of a prenup speeding up the divorce process.
      Wrt equality, you are pretty much free to put the any conditions you want in the prenup as long as both parties agree to it. Declaring a 50-50 split is something plausible
      7d
    • IBM ecmv
      I am not sure if it this makes sense or not but I can think of one reason why the Indian bride might be concerned about prenup.

      Does having a prenup increases the chance of divorce when things go south?
      7d
    • Blizzard others
      I think it’s dependent on if she has a good job. Good job probably doesn’t care as much but if not cares a lot more.
      7d
    • Google 5'10Indian
      OP
      Did your wife agree to the prenup in the end?
      7d
    • Google UJBa23
      She did. Won’t lie, it wasn’t easy but in the end we signed. Something I wish I had done is to find a god lawyer who does more than the basics (e.g. show some stats, share real life examples, etc) Ours just did the minimum and got it notarized...
      7d
  • Microsoft PlCO53
    If you're both working why do you need a prenup? Prenup doesn't make sense until there is a big gap in wealth between the two, and you want protect yourself from a "gold digged" situation. But it doesn't sound like you are in that situation.
    7d1
  • Apple PraXin
    I had a divorce . I am Indian . Its not rare. Get a prenup. Its the mature thing to do. As a couple you need to be able to talk about sticky stuff. This is a good test of being able to navigate through wanting different things. Make sure to protect ur income and if both of you work , waive alimony. A marriage works well if you want to be with each other but don’t have to be (self sufficient)
    7d0
  • Intel UrMomma
    Do either of you have assets already? Will either of you inherit large estates? Otherwise it isn’t really needed..
    7d0
  • New RzFr15
    Pics of fiancé
    7d1
    • Google 5'10Indian
      OP
      👩‍🔬 | 🤺 | 💃

      Shot on Pixel 3
      7d
  • Amazon Xode
    Lol

    Revert back 😂
    And from where you found out that divorces are rare in India ?
    7d2
    • Microsoft nyxnyxnyx1
      Divorce rates are really low in countries with arranged marriage. There's a study on it, discussed by Dan Areily, professor from Duke University. You should look it up.
      7d
    • ServiceNow lilcheeto2
      They’re fearful that their mother in law will poison them. That’s why divorce is rare.
      6d
  • Facebook N/A
    No advice except that it's good that you are getting one. Divorces can get incredibly messy. Especially, if in the meantime you've live in multiple countries as courts are unsure about jurisdiction. My mom made that mistake and the divorce process took 10 years, even with good lawyers...
    7d1
    • Salesforce / Other
      Sassy_

      SalesforceOther

      PRE
      Salesforce
      Sassy_more
      Bigger mistake is your parents' choice of lawyers who milked both of them....
      7d
  • Facebook QgLd56
    I don’t know why so many people in this thread are framing this as a women vs men thing.

    I’m a woman. I’ve been with my partner for almost ten years. We plan on being together for the long haul, but don’t really feel the need to get married to prove that to the world. If we did get married though, we’d probably talk about a prenup. We’ve always been very matter of fact and collaborative about discussing finances, and make sure that we’re in agreement about how to handle stuff. And would probably approach this the same way.
    7d2
    • Google 5'10Indian
      OP
      Not Indian. Also, it is a mostly a men vs women thing when divorce laws have a gender bias.
      5d
    • Salesforce
      Bhoot

      Salesforce

      BIO
      I am blind to something and you are too.
      Bhootmore
      Seen many women on blind making North of 500k paying child support and alimony to their exes. It's uncommon but not on this app. Search for prenup - there are other threads.
      4d
  • Facebook frustsoul
    Great work. How are you guarding against 498a?
    7d2
    • Facebook bl@ckmamba
      The US will not extradite for 498a
      7d
    • Google 5'10Indian
      OP
      Both of us would have to sign a declaration during engagement, as well as marriage, saying no dowry/money was exchanged. I'm marrying her for the person she is.
      7d
  • Slack / Eng
    namelessyo

    SlackEng

    BIO
    Looking women Chinese speakers for lunch in SF
    namelessyomore
    What do you mean by revert back? I am confused by how it is related to the height.
    7d2
    • RackWare Dreamlight
      It's a troll post.
      7d
    • Google 5'10Indian
      OP
      Nope, it's a serious post, with some preponed humor.
      7d
  • New / EngAussieSWE
    Lawyers make money by angering people that are divorcing. I watched my two dear friends blow $200k fighting over mere bullshit. It’s my understanding that prenups only protect what you already own or have. So when you’re making 10x the amount you do now, it probably won’t protect that.
    7d0
  • Salesforce / Other
    Sassy_

    SalesforceOther

    PRE
    Salesforce
    Sassy_more
    I thought more traditional indian women bring significant dowries to the marriage?
    7d0
  • Salesforce
    Bhoot

    Salesforce

    BIO
    I am blind to something and you are too.
    Bhootmore
    Your marital income is community property. Prenup will only help your premarital assets.
    4d2
    • Google Rajnikanth
      Is it true that even with a prenup, capital gains from premarital assets will become communal property, but with a trust, this can be avoided?
      3d
  • TriNet AYwy24
    I agree with the insurance analogy. Regardless of prenups you have to split your post marital assets down the line . Most prenups are for your preexisting valuations
    7d1
    • Qualcomm VRnw43
      OP wants to save his earnings since he is making and going to make more money, while the significant other will not.
      How is it you don't want to share 50-50 of total earnings together?
      7d
  • Microsoft Devreg
    Don’t get a pre nup. Setup a trust. It’s safer. Prenup gets challenged in courts. Trust is hard to challenge. And you don’t need her approval for setting that up.
    Btw. In both cases, only your pre marriage assets will be protected.
    4d0
  • Bloomberg iVX372
    I would never get married without a prenup. US law has given women the ability to financially ruin men, and you never know what your wife will do in 10 years.
    7d0
  • New ktFx33
    True love
    7d0

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