Office Life

Going to join Amazon in a month

Microsoft IcM_Alert
Dec 5

I have made a checklist of everything I need to do before going there. Feel free to add to the list

- Napkins for the times I will be crying at my desk
- Hepatitis shot since I will be crawling through junkies and hobos to get to work
- A MAGA hat for the times I feel suicidal so I just put it on and walk in down town Seattle
- Hemorrhoid ointment since I’ll be sitting on my ass 12 hours a day
- Some books to balance the old wobbly half broken computer desks
- Toilet paper
- Hand sanitizer to sanitize the used keyboard I’ll get
- A man purse?

What else? 🤔

Current TC: 160

TC at Amazon 190

comments

Add a comment
  • McAfee JohnMcPee
    A holster for holding bananas.

    🍌 🍌 🍌
    Dec 50
  • Amazon SorFillson
    A new wallet to hold that fresh 30k
    Dec 50
  • Amazon / Otherfuckamazon
    lube
    Dec 52
    • Microsoft IcM_Alert
      OP
      I hope they buy me dinner first
      Dec 5
    • Amazon / Otherfuckamazon
      frugality. you'll get a banana and then their "banana"
      Dec 5
  • Amazon coIsks
    Noise cancelling headset so you can pretend you’re not squeezed into an area with 25 people
    Dec 50
  • Snapchat +1s
    A bottle. You know what it's used for
    Dec 53
    • Microsoft IcM_Alert
      OP
      Unfortunately I don’t. I hope it’s not what I think it’s used for 😨
      Dec 5
    • Starbucks / Eng
      bakedbread

      StarbucksEng

      BIO
      Maximum of 160 characters
      bakedbreadmore
      Piss jug bro, get with it
      Dec 6
    • Microsoft IcM_Alert
      OP
      I need to ramp up fast. There is so much to learn!
      Dec 6
  • Microsoft Gandalfee
    This is not about bashing Amazon or any. New job in a competitive environment is stressful for anybody especially for the first year.

    For the things you need to prepare for to do well at Amazon or any new company:

    1. Get familiar with Linux if you were Windows guy
    2. Go to AWS and start free trial, explore. You may not have time to learn about these if your job is busy yet they expect you to know all these things.
    3. Read blogs about Amazon engineering (eg Vogel).
    4. Visit the area often so you get familiarized with transportation and where to eat etc.
    5. Sleep as much as you can. This will prepare your body to endure pressure and stress.
    6. Collect all the good stories about Amazon so you feel good (which will relieve your stress at the job).
    7. Collect all the horror stories about other companies so you don’t feel too bad when things go south.
    8. Exercise during weekdays since you may not have this time once you get there.
    9. Start dating if you don’t have a partner. You may not have time for looking around or making yourself attractive. If you are under stress, it will be hard to give good impression.
    10. Make friends or connect more deeply with existing friends so you have someone you can vent with.
    11. Find a daily stress reliever that is not too addictive. Casual gaming or learning new hobby. Skiing will waste too much of your time. Weight training will exhaust your body. Walking while listening to podcast or light running or playing an instrument or indoor soccer/basketball or tennis might be better.
    Dec 52
    • Microsoft IcM_Alert
      OP
      These are all very good advices. Thank you I needed them. I am more than stressed I’m terrified. But one of the main reasons I’m leaving is to find more interesting and challenging work to grow. I’m at the beginning of my career and don’t want to rest and vest at Microsoft.
      Dec 5
    • Microsoft Gandalfee
      If you are at the beginning, I think Amazon is one of the tops. May not be a good place for people with kids but since you are not the case, you can ignore lots of complaints about Amazon.

      Prioritize work wisely. Don’t try to do everything. Also when things don’t work as expected, don’t get too stressed. Everybody has a down time and it happens frequently. The difference is whether you got hung over there or move on and get over. I don’t mean switching jobs. I mean to say forget about hard feelings and keep continuing to work smart and well.

      Don’t be a perfectionist. Lots of successful people are due to luck such as being at the right place and at right time. But it doesn’t happen if you are not ready.

      Amazon can give your good work ethic which will translate well when you move to other company as well.

      Based on your witty post, I think you are a smart person and have a bright future. Good luck.
      Dec 5
  • Microsoft Gandalfee
    According to the poll about PIP, Blind users responded 1 out of 3 who spent two years or less got PIP. So be prepared for what to do if you happen to belong to the statistic.

    Considering that, here is additional list:
    1. More leetcode
    2. Scheduling for the interviews (Google if you didn’t fail recently).
    3. Remind recruiters that you may want to start seeking for job in 6 months. No need to inform you are moving to Amazon.
    4. Don’t screw up the current job in case you want to come back.
    5. Connect with colleagues over LinkedIn
    Dec 51
  • Amazon / EngxgIO00
    You are the most prepared new-hire. Respect
    Dec 50
  • Amazon hDDb11
    You should be ok, I had the same fears as you but things are over exaggerated outside. One shocking thing I had after moving out of msft (after 8 years) to here was how you get feedback both from management and peers - it is straight at you, no beating around the bush (which is good imho). If you messed up you know that people are not happy, be ready to face it. And secondly some teams live by the LPs, if you go to such a team you have to drink the kool-aid. This is not necessarily a bad thing but I hate it when they go over board with the LPs. Btw, this is only on the aws side. I don’t know retail
    Dec 51
    • New / EngEjDf82
      What’s an LP?
      Dec 5
  • Microsoft / EngFake Bugs
    Hang a portrait of Bezos in your home so you never forget who your God is.

    You can find a Jeff Bezos Life Sized Cutout on amazon.
    Dec 60
  • Microsoft / ProductTacoBoss
    Prepare flash cards of the LP and use at least one in every single conversation.
    Dec 50
  • RingCentral / Eng
    Duck-Bezos

    RingCentralEng

    PRE
    Yahoo, Oath
    BIO
    One life to live!
    Duck-Bezosmore
    Sleeping bag?
    Dec 50
  • Amazon meteo
    Toilet paper and hand sanitizers are provided
    Dec 56
    • Microsoft IcM_Alert
      OP
      I didn’t see them on the list of benefits.
      Dec 5
    • Amazon meteo
      Are there really company restrooms that don't have toilet paper?
      Dec 6
    • Microsoft IcM_Alert
      OP
      I thought maybe Amazon. Frugality, read your LP.
      Dec 6
    • Amazon meteo
      Think sometimes people take that concept a little too far
      Dec 6
    • Amazon / EngJеff
      Some high density buildings regularly run out of tp. This isn't them being frugal with tp, it's them being frugal by filing every square foot with desks.
      Dec 6
    • Microsoft IcM_Alert
      OP
      Potatoes potatoes 🥔
      Dec 6
  • New / EngEjDf82
    YOE?
    Dec 52
    • Microsoft IcM_Alert
      OP
      2.5
      Dec 5
    • New / EngEjDf82
      No need for hemorrhoid cream then. They typically come after 5 years.
      Dec 5
  • Salesforce dhjvduczs
    Condoms
    Dec 51
    • Microsoft / EngFake Bugs
      lol amzn engineers are probably the most sex deprived group of humans on Earth.
      Dec 6
  • T-Mobile 6lack
    This is the funniest post I’ve read on here so far 😂😂😂😂
    Dec 50
  • Microsoft / Product@zzz
    You are over stressing. My entire previous team is now in Amazon. Met a few of them and they are quite happy. The real issues/dofferences are much more subtle than you think.
    Dec 50
  • New / EngWDyo75
    Have you signed the Offer officially or you're told to sign it in January?
    Dec 53
    • Microsoft IcM_Alert
      OP
      Already signed.
      Dec 5
    • New / EngWDyo75
      Nice, when did you sign it? coz I just got an offer and was told that official signing will happen in jan!
      Dec 5
    • Microsoft IcM_Alert
      OP
      I signed it last night. Maybe your future manager is on vacation or the recruiter is too busy. Congratulations btw. I guess we access Bezos balls now.
      Dec 5
  • VMware Nsxlife
    Position?
    Dec 50
  • Google / Engandone
    Empty water bottle.
    Dec 50

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