Girls get 25+ matches a day with 2/3 of those turning into open conversations. All of you are cool/interesting so maybe we talk a bit. I was speaking with my friends about this, the guys seem offended when they get either no response or a "hi" and nothing else from matches, and one of them said they expect to at least get a note saying "no longer interested " rather than getting ghosted in that early stage. As a female, I was offended because to do that i have to manually go in and send dozens of responses, which would take so much time to do on a daily basis. Talking about this makes me feel like dating apps should encourage 2-3 open conversations at a time, discourage a long line of convos in your inbox. What gender/sexuality are you? What etiquette do you expect on a dating app?
You don’t owe anyone your time for free. The dating market is a free market, if men found this to be a dealbreaker, they would not keep messaging women on the platform.
Bi guy here. Gay guys are exactly the same, possibly worse. I got like 150 matches in two days when I joined OkCupid, mostly from gay men. When they did message, it was just "hey" half the time My strategy for women is generally to send the first message, and if they don't engage, I don't keep trying. It means I'm probably passing on a lot of women in OP's situation, but if their responses aren't good for continuing conversations, it's too much effort with nothing to build on. I don't even look at men's profiles unless they make a meaningful first message that could lead to a good chat.
Don’t feel bad about ghosting someone you never even met. Honestly I’d prefer to be ghosted than to get a rejection message. That way you just forget about them, rather than getting excited about a message notif just to see it’s a rejection. Demographics: I’m also a woman but I haven’t used a dating app in a long time. 3 dates is too little time to figure out if I’m into someone. I prefer the slow burn.
Improving/balancing the experience of the dating apps for male/female has been the Holy Grail of dating apps. It's not an easy problem. Put yourself in the shoes of the opposite sex and you'll probably think you landed in an alien world. A similar effect is seen in the beauty spectrum. If you can devise a matching/interaction mechanic that feels natural, safe, balanced and fair you'll probably make a lot of money. (Then again, monetization is another axis in this whole problem space) To answer your original question, while you think that you have a lot of work to do dealing with 25 new matches per day, many guys try to put a lot of effort into matches to stand out; so ghosting seems a little disrespectful since it doesn't seem to value that effort enough to send a message closing the conversation.
I still don’t understand why women get very easily way more matches than men. Is it because 90% of the women select the top 10% of men?
This is why i like using Bumble. Easy to filter out the girls who can’t put in minimum effort
Good looking girls who don’t have a boyfriend are less than 10% in dating apps. So they get a ton of attention. And men are probably 70% of the users
Flipside: why are you swiping when you have so many dudes to talk to you don't have time to bother? Are you just hot-or-not swiping for entertainment, or actually looking to meet a guy?
For a second I thought you were going to make a pitch for all the guys on Blind...
Demo is 6ft+ white dude who powerlifts 2x a week (from 75lb to 270 bench). In my heyday, my record was 85 Tinder matches and 3 dates a week. It gets really boring really fast. I was so lazy I'd always have the women drive downtown to get drinks where I lived because I didnt want to drive. If she said no, Id just move on and unmatch unless I was really interested. Girlfriend knows about the old tinder days. She always said she was just the sushi joint 2:30 on a Sunday girl. That did happen. This was further validated because my sister has a house in downtown SF, where I managed to match with 4 Indian doctors in my 3 days there. Lol
We understand exactly what you are going through. 25+ matches, all very eager to chat. It's a tough life... - every Indian male FANG engineer on Shaadi.com
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Holy shit