Handling work pressure while TTC

I never really believe Sandberg “lean in”. In TTC period and pregnancy and post pregnancy, I just enjoy my time, the best gift in life. Got 3% raise, got assigned low priority projects, and took the opportunity to focus on the best part of my life. Once my kid turned 3, I started to take higher profile project and finally step up to a bigger role. I don’t see why you need to put so much pressure to do it all. Prioritize and keep your eyes on the prize. Introduce boundaries and don’t try to take on as many high profile projects during this time.

For me managing stress didn't really impact TTC, I had regular levels of stress at that time. After I knew I was pregnant I did as above poster said, scaled back work related ambitions for awhile. After some time spent focusing more on my child, built back up at work. Have it all is a myth.

I didn’t think much about it for my first. Planning for the second I took a role where I knew my management chain was family friendly and the company was smaller. About half way through the pregnancy I switched about half my work load to less critical projects. I stayed committed to work travel and some core projects. Ramping down meant I didn’t feel pressured to rush back after baby came (although the paid leave at a small company was a joke.) Now I’m back and feel sidelined at the boys club, but I came back ready to look and don’t take it personally. My kids are still young but I’m ready for the FANG challenge and a new team that doesn’t have history with me ‘pre-mom’ and pregnant. Having family help would be huge— and if you don’t you’re going to need the demanding job to pay for the help and schools that allow you to kick ass at the demanding job. Just decide what’s important to you and go for it. Keep in mind that once you’re pregnant or a parent your priorities will change in an instant.

Thanks 🙏 this is really helpful perspective

I’ve been there. Is is so hard. In my case, I found out that it would be difficult, if even possible, to have children because my metrics were those of someone 5-10 years older. It was a complete shock and threw me into one of the most heartbreaking, stressful, and anxious periods of my life. Let alone having to manage an unrelenting high-stress job, and keep it private because it’s a personal decision, and no one’s business what you are going through and the medical circumstances involved. I wish there was an easy answer for how to manage the pressure, let alone work pressure. After 2 years of hormone treatments, failed IVF attempts, and thousands (tens of thousands) of dollars spent on them, I had finally given up. I figured it wouldn’t happen for me. Stopped trying, resigned myself to thinking that it just wouldn’t happen. And then it did!!! Looking back on all of it, the thing I realize most is that work didn’t matter. In the grand scheme of things, those work projects that are JUST SO IMPORTANT just aren’t. In my case, the people at work at the time also made things even more difficult, had no idea what I was going through, and hadn’t earned my trust enough that I would share with them. Those kind of people don’t matter either. The best advice I can give is try to stay centered, laugh off people who make things harder for you (internally, of course, I wouldn’t recommend it in person ;) ), and envision them as a character in a sitcom designed to play a part. It helped me focus on what was meaningful to me and take the egregious parts less seriously. Also, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help, like a therapist. TTC is a stressful, anxious, crucible of identity and there is every reason to find someone to help alleviate that burden. Finally, don’t give up hope! Focus on what you can control and try to let go of the rest. Try to enjoy simple little pleasures in your day, like a cup of tea or a song that brings you relaxation. Whatever brings you a few moments of peace. All the best to you!