Office Life

Have you experienced gaslighting?

Goldman Sachs not_Lloyd
Feb 11

This new concept to me. Have you experienced it? What does it look like?

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  • Genentech / Engratsey
    Yes, and many people may have experienced it without realizing it.

    For example, have you ever been in a bad relationship where your SO is upset with many different areas? And then when you try to break up with them it’s suddenly “no we can work this out”, crying and begging not to leave, and then the relationship goes right back to where you were with the SO being unhappy with the relationship again, that’s gas lighting.
    Feb 112
    • Twitter uSmC67
      This isn't how I understand gaslighting at all. Has its definition evolved to just mean lying?
      Feb 11
    • Genentech / Engratsey
      Fundamentally, gaslighting is to gradually implement a change while denying that the change is happening. In the sense of the relationship, it would be complaining about the different parts and “moving the goal posts” while denying that the relationship is broken. It keeps you involved and “fixing” yourself for the SO while preventing you from leaving. I guess it’s not the best example of gaslighting but y’all know.
      Feb 11
  • Amazon CiJN18
    Gaslighting: when someone pisses on your back and tells you it’s raining.
    Feb 111
    • Microsoft TheAnonBoy
      This is the perfect analogy.
      Feb 11
  • McAfee JohnMcPee
    Gaslighting: When someone convinces you that an L6 at Google translates to an L5 at Amazon.
    Feb 113
    • No
      Feb 11
    • McAfee JohnMcPee
      It’s meta:

      Check out this post! "Amazon only gives SDE2 for Google L6??? (Career)"
      https://us.teamblind.com/s/HqnnAhBQ
      Feb 11
    • Oracle not_larry
      I’m pretty sure that’s just a stupid person who just thinks Google L6 is equivalent of Amazon L6, and trying to say you get one level lower at Amazon.
      Feb 11
  • Okta nfc
    AOC over the weekend with "that pdf that my staffer wrote and sent out to people and NPR published for us wasn't really from us. It was right wing trolls, yeah!"
    Feb 112
  • Amazon / EngjNeo42
    Work at Amazon as an IC and give the impression that you might be the “low performer” on your team. Then watch what your manager does. You will experience gaslighting.
    Feb 110
  • OpenDoor MhBB55
    Just ask Trump
    Feb 110
  • Amazon Sengupta
    “Our relationship wasn’t unhealthy or abusive, you’re just remembering it wrong— shame on you.” - paraphrased from my abusive ex when I broke up with her.
    Feb 111
    • Amazon Sengupta
      Their memory is perfect, yours is perpetually flawed. Your feelings will be downplayed and minimized. When you have 100% objective proof that your memory is correct, the goal posts will shift suddenly or they’ll be dropped entirely. This is gaslighting.
      Feb 11
  • Cerner / EngZenobia
    I was in a bad relationship last year and I was always going through it. Of course back then I didn’t even knew there is a term for such a behavior.

    If you wanna learn about what it means, there are great videos on YouTube for it.
    Feb 110
  • Why are you asking the second question here instead of googling it? And of course there are people who have experienced it, since there's a word for it.
    Feb 110

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