Relationships

Have your relationships based on money and status been stable? Have your love-based relationships been any different?

Workday eP8fFr
Dec 6

Many people do casual dating based on money and career. Love and attraction is a completely different thing.

What has worked for you? What hasn't? What has been more fulfilling? What is longer lasting?

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  • Google / MgmtLovedoo
    Its not as black and white. If you date someone, say an artist trying to survive on the west coast, you would be the one spending $$ on holidays and if you like fancy restaurants and day trips. The relationship in a way is purer as itโ€™s not influenced as much by money, status and other considerations. This does not mean you cannot have an equally satisfying or loving relationship with a partner of comparable means, it just changes the power balance and your responsibility in some ways.
    Dec 64
    • Facebook derpd
      I'm in this situation right now, and my concerns are with the changes in power balance. I don't really mind paying for stuff etc. I'm just more concerned about a weird power dynamic being created because they're spending "my" money, or that they feel bad doing so.
      Dec 6
    • Google / MgmtLovedoo
      Thatโ€™s what makes the relationship so challenging. The worst is when you start feeling resentment. Or your partner feels like you try to control where you go, eat, travel, stay, gift. Itโ€™s tough to get out of the my money dynamic, as it is your money, and ultimately you want respect, and she needs to feel loved. Hang in there. It gets better as long as you both communicate and not let resentment build up
      Dec 6
    • Facebook derpd
      Yeah that's what I'm hoping for too. It's working really well at the moment, and we communicate really well, I was just wondering if that changes with time. Thanks!
      Dec 6
    • Google / MgmtLovedoo
      It does change, esp if you get married and have kids. 4+ years here. Just nip it in the bud when resentment sprouts. You may expect your partner to do her fair share of housework, since you are bringing in the bacon
      Dec 6
  • Google / Engjigglypoff
    The most stable relationships are those where the partners do not differ too much (in income, look, intelligence). If you are an 8 in say, intelligence, then your partner better be a 6 to 10, with any difference being compensated in some other dimension. It's not that complicated. Bigger differences are much harder to live with.
    Dec 60
  • For most people, dating is based on compatibility not money or career.

    Although, welcome to the Bay Area machine where questions like this are the norm.
    Dec 61
    • Snapchat MatM61
      looking at statistics, women almost always marry sideways or up in terms of income. So to say it isn't a massive factor isn't true.
      Dec 7
  • Facebook Yuge
    It's never going to be completely clear. For me, my wife's earning potential was a factor, but that wasn't the way I chose to think about it. I loved her character traits that would make her successful.

    She knows I wouldn't have married her if she was not "capable" and vice versa. But I think we have assumed being resilient and hard working is inherent to our personality, so we don't really think about it much. My advice would be to bet on the character traits that make him/her likely to succeed in their field of work rather than in terms of how much money they have now. Unless she is a rich heiress, in which case marry her ๐Ÿ˜›
    Dec 60
  • EA / Engthinkalot
    gtfo gold dig
    Dec 60
  • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
    Big D + BIg O = Stable Relationships.
    Dec 66
    • New stuY17
      How would YOU know ๐Ÿ˜‚
      Dec 6
    • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
      Ask your GF. Oh, thatโ€™s right this Blind the land of virgins. Ask your mom instead.
      Dec 6
    • New stuY17
      I have two dads, which one should I talk to?
      Dec 6
    • Citibank / Finance$$>RSU
      Make that plural on the Oโ€™s. I banged them both. ๐Ÿ˜‚
      Dec 6
    • New stuY17
      You must be the catcher they always invited over ๐Ÿ˜‚
      Dec 6
    • New stuY17
      Hahahaha, you went back to change your response after it turned out you were gay? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
      Dec 6
  • New 0hedge
    Depends on your need. If you want to be a successful politician, you better marry rich...high earning wife is not enough...her daddy must already be rich.
    Dec 60
  • Microsoft TBDlatee
    I did so 10 yrs ago. It's lot of extra money, she earns way more than me ...
    Dec 60

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