Have your relationships based on money and status been stable? Have your love-based relationships been any different?
Many people do casual dating based on money and career. Love and attraction is a completely different thing.
What has worked for you? What hasn't? What has been more fulfilling? What is longer lasting?
- Google / MgmtLovedooIts not as black and white. If you date someone, say an artist trying to survive on the west coast, you would be the one spending $$ on holidays and if you like fancy restaurants and day trips. The relationship in a way is purer as it’s not influenced as much by money, status and other considerations. This does not mean you cannot have an equally satisfying or loving relationship with a partner of comparable means, it just changes the power balance and your responsibility in some ways.
- That’s what makes the relationship so challenging. The worst is when you start feeling resentment. Or your partner feels like you try to control where you go, eat, travel, stay, gift. It’s tough to get out of the my money dynamic, as it is your money, and ultimately you want respect, and she needs to feel loved. Hang in there. It gets better as long as you both communicate and not let resentment build up
- Google / EngjigglypoffThe most stable relationships are those where the partners do not differ too much (in income, look, intelligence). If you are an 8 in say, intelligence, then your partner better be a 6 to 10, with any difference being compensated in some other dimension. It's not that complicated. Bigger differences are much harder to live with.
- Box Ufs:356@fvFor most people, dating is based on compatibility not money or career.
Although, welcome to the Bay Area machine where questions like this are the norm.
- Facebook YugeIt's never going to be completely clear. For me, my wife's earning potential was a factor, but that wasn't the way I chose to think about it. I loved her character traits that would make her successful.
She knows I wouldn't have married her if she was not "capable" and vice versa. But I think we have assumed being resilient and hard working is inherent to our personality, so we don't really think about it much. My advice would be to bet on the character traits that make him/her likely to succeed in their field of work rather than in terms of how much money they have now. Unless she is a rich heiress, in which case marry her 😛