Heaven is where...

Amazon Planck
Jul 29, 2018 44 Comments

The engineers come from Google.
The product managers come from Amazon.
The designers come from Apple.
The infrastructure is built by AWS.
Work life balance is managed by Microsoft.
The parties are organized by Uber.
HR is run by Lyft.
The promotion committee is run by eBay.
And your compensation is set by Facebook.

Hell is where...
The engineers come from Microsoft.
The product managers come from Lyft.
The designers come from AWS.
The infrastructure is built by eBay.
Work life balance is managed by Facebook.
The parties are organized by Amazon.
HR is run by Uber.
The promotion committee is run by Google.
And your compensation is set by Apple.

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TOP 44 Comments
  • Airbnb / Eng
    CFABurrito

    Airbnb Eng

    PRE
    500 Startups, 500 Startups
    BIO
    Profile info will remain private in company channels
    CFABurritomore
    Written by a PM at Amazon. The planet’s worst PMs are found there.
    Jul 29, 2018 4
    • Amazon Planck
      OP
      Okay, I guess our ability to enter new businesses and dominate them is unrelated to our product discipline, according to you. At an individual level, they vary greatly, but the consensus is that Amazon is a great place to be an MBA, way better than it is to be an SDE.
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Airbnb / Eng
      CFABurrito

      Airbnb Eng

      PRE
      500 Startups, 500 Startups
      BIO
      Profile info will remain private in company channels
      CFABurritomore
      Amazon’s ability to enter new markets is top down direction and not a PM’s vision. On the two areas of strength, retail categories are ops driven and AWS is engineering driven.
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Square Testarossa
      Cringe thread.
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Snapchat Evan
      Bnb dude, what’s your base pay? Just curious 🤔
      Jul 29, 2018
  • Amazon / Mgmt JeffBaizos
    Spotted an Amazon PM
    Jul 29, 2018 0
  • LinkedIn foobar123$
    Nothing good at Amazon.....
    Jul 29, 2018 1
    • Amazon Gfdsajhgfy
      The pot calls the kettle black.
      Jul 29, 2018
  • Microsoft IPSEC
    Is Apple’s compensation that bad?
    Jul 29, 2018 7
    • Apple / Eng
      CptHaddock

      Apple Eng

      BIO
      2 b or ! 2b
      CptHaddockmore
      It’s better than Amazon or Microsoft for sure.
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Microsoft IPSEC
      That’s what I thought. That was poorly crafted then
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Apple Hgvmjytf
      100% better than amazon.
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Apple Tim'sCock
      Got a better offer from Apple than from Google
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Apple Hgvmjytf
      Same for me. But generally G will give better offer than us.
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Uber yGKC82
      New grad level Microsoft offered much more than Apple
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Amazon z.(‘,%cal
      No. Manager has complete power in deciding it. Also apple pours money excessively in areas it needs to and will desert where it doesn’t need to.

      As long as you are on the good side, i think that place will be better than everywhere else. Otherwise it will be miserable.

      Right now - I presume services and AI are under limelight, so that’s the place to be.

      All companies are like this, but Apple has single P&L that makes this exacerbated
      Mar 24
  • Amazon Planck
    OP
    PS this was written for a laugh to brighten your weekend, not to be taken too seriously. I am not a PM at Amazon, and have seen mixed quality in the role, but our product decisions are driven in a highly effective manner. It just fit better into the joke this way.
    Jul 29, 2018 0
  • Epic eCBy67
    Why pm from amazon?
    Jul 29, 2018 0
  • Google burnaaaa
    lol infra built by AWS? No need if you have internal google infra (or prob fb for that matter?).
    Jul 29, 2018 1
    • Google / Ops Huhf13
      Yeah, I rolled my eyes at that. AWS scales well, but so does Google
      Jul 29, 2018
  • Square Testarossa
    I feel like if the designers all came from Apple and the engineers all came from Google, there would be some serious headbutting. Both roles coming from places where they reign supreme and expected to suddenly coexist.
    Jul 29, 2018 0
  • Google / Product Oakland99
    What about the food?
    😂😂😂😂😂😂
    Jul 29, 2018 1
    • Google burnaaaa
      Always hear Dropbox 😀
      Jul 29, 2018
  • Google / Sales cloud-fsr
    Microsoft has the best work/life balance?
    Jul 29, 2018 4
    • Epic eCBy67
      No. I think Walmart lab is the best.
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Oracle panther4
      Walmart labs is one of the worst with respect to wlb and culture
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Epic eCBy67
      Do I even mention culture? Just consider the wlb and wellness, it is good. I feel my friend only works 5 hr per day and they have unlimited TPO and very flexible work from home policy.
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Oracle / Eng NachoMan
      Oracle by far has the best work / life balance
      Jul 29, 2018
  • Pinterest ZuckHere
    Microsoft has good engineers and Lyft has good product managers.
    Jul 29, 2018 1
    • Airbnb / Eng
      CFABurrito

      Airbnb Eng

      PRE
      500 Startups, 500 Startups
      BIO
      Profile info will remain private in company channels
      CFABurritomore
      Lyft has really good product managers.
      Jul 29, 2018
  • Facebook Dah
    You forgot to say this for hell: RSU is given by Facebook and falls right before trading window opens!!😪😪
    Jul 29, 2018 0
  • Google burnaaaa
    Also if the worst part of google is the promo committee then I really like this special kind of hell
    Jul 29, 2018 1
    • Google / Ops Huhf13
      It's truth
      Jul 29, 2018
  • PayPal !QT
    You have no idea about eBay infrastructure!
    Jul 29, 2018 2
    • Amazon Planck
      OP
      Sorry, somebody had to lose there. My negative impressions are based on highly buzzwordy and "promotion oriented architecture" looking stuff I have seen in presentations. The reality may be different on the inside.
      Jul 29, 2018
    • Google / Ops Huhf13
      It's craptastic and the infra staff from there are weak
      Jul 29, 2018
  • Prosper
    anotherBro

    Prosper

    BIO
    Tall white dude
    anotherBromore
    Can i just mark this post childish and have blind never show this to me again?
    Jul 30, 2018 1
    • Amazon Planck
      OP
      Apparently you are not familiar with "heaven is..." "hell is..." jokes. Usually made about various ethnic groups and stereotypes about them. If you took this post seriously, you are probably lacking the relevant cultural context. You also whiffed on the point that the grass is always greener somewhere else depending on what you are looking for.
      Jul 30, 2018
  • Amazon xLps82
    Why is lyft HR that good?
    Jul 29, 2018 0
  • Google qGgS01
    What's with eBay and promotion committee?
    Jul 30, 2018 0
  • Salesforce dghh
    Wlb heaven is Salesforce
    Jul 29, 2018 0
  • Twitter Yyg8z
    Heaven is not at any office.
    Jul 29, 2018 0
  • New forever
    Is Facebook work life balance that bad?
    Jul 29, 2018 0
  • Microsoft IEjP42
    You don’t like the Amazon parties?
    Jul 29, 2018 0

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