How do I get my shit together

Aug 21 23 Comments

Background: Graduated from undergrad target school in May without any offers. Meh GPA. Meh internships (large business enterprise company, qa, didn't learn shit). Didn't do any student orgs. Barely know anything about web development because none of the classes covered it and my dumbass didn't do anything outside of what was required at school.

Was pretty depressed during college. Aced weeder classes my first year, loved life. after sophmore year, had bad breakup from long term relationship, 2 close family members died, dad got terminal cancer, 1 of my best friends at school died, hated life, grades got gradually worse, didn't have motivation to do work or go out. Didn't even play games or the usual degenerate shit. Just smoked a lot, skipped meals, and spent 14-16 hours a day in bed for like the past 2 years, as my health, physical and mental went to complete shit.

After I graduated I've been kinda getting my mental health and physical health back together a bit. Regular sleep schedule, eating all 3 meals, getting some exercise every day. But I've also realized how far I've fallen behind compared to my peers.

I've been working on LC mostly the past 2-2.5 months. Got about 300 done, felt pretty good about it until I realized that it averages out to like 3-4 a day and that I'm not being efficient. I also still can't solve half the mediums that I haven't seen before. Started a project to learn web development/taking some online courses since most new grad listings seem to require javascript and some framework like react or angular, but sometimes I spend a whole day working on a component only to trash it the next day.

I just have no idea how to prioritize my study plan at the moment. It feels like all the metrics used for hiring, from LC, to how good my resume is, to what industry relevant technologies I know, all have this huge uphill battle and i'm honestly just overwhelmed. I honestly just feel fucked and anxious constantly now, especially now that hiring is starting up again, and job listings I don't feel prepared for are popping up (many with thousands of applicants).

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TOP 23 Comments
  • Tektronix BazzokaGrl
    I think you should talk to a therapist.
    Aug 21 6
    • Tektronix BazzokaGrl
      Do you have any school friends also job hunting you can talk to?
      Aug 21
    • OP
      Nope, at least for CS. I'm in the minority for my school. most people I know graduated with offers from FANG/Unicorns I feel like. Seems everyone and their moms got an amazon offer.
      Aug 21
    • Tektronix BazzokaGrl
      Do you have friends with offers? Can you talk to them? Do you have a social circle of people you spend time with that you like who aren't family?
      Aug 21
    • OP
      Yeah, I've been talking to them a bit. The thing is they have no idea how to relate the 4 years of effort they've put in to the 3 months of cramming I've been trying to put in, and since they're all new grads, their idea of what is actually important in the hiring process is somewhat nebulous since they don't actually do any hiring, they just know a number of things that contributed to their success. I'm confident I can get referrals at larger top companies from my friends though.
      Aug 21
    • Indeed uggjif
      betterhelp.com
      Aug 21
  • Oscar
    🐨koala

    Oscar

    BIO
    I am a Koala. DM me if you want to cuddle.
    🐨koalamore
    i am torn between recommending you taking up an entry level job outside of faang (like some lowly enterprise role) vs encouraging you on your leetcode journey.

    But start sending in applications. Try companies you don’t want first. Use then to practice.

    Just remember, not everyone starts out at a tech giant. I did not and I make decent TC at a relatively good startup.

    Mentally and physically you need to relax a bit. U are stressing yourself out! But I know what you mean. I am sad myself.
    Aug 21 1
    • OP
      I would love to be at a startup or any smaller company in a major city with 100-500 people. the problem is, they always seem to ghost me.
      Aug 21
  • Oracle pzd
    One word of advice - comparing yourself with others only brings misery. Outside of that, I think you are doing everything else right. (Eating, exercising, LC.) Keep it up.
    Aug 21 2
    • OP
      I agree with you and I'm trying, but it's hard when my friends are essentially financially independent, and I'm financially strapped by my parents and under this looming pressure to find a job before worrying about anything else in my life.
      Aug 21
    • It makes sense to look above you to always strive to be better. However if you look around there might be people who are worse off than you and sometimes happiness is simply just about being alive. Take care of your health and good luck.
      Aug 21
  • Amazon / Eng
    AnyReqs?😟

    Amazon Eng

    BIO
    Anyone Hire Product Manager :)
    AnyReqs?😟more
    Too long
    Aug 21 2
    • OP
      i wasted last 3 years of my life and fucked up hard + i'm depressed, graduated without a job.

      spent summer getting shit together to the best of my ability. 300 LC done, working on learning web dev. not enough confidence to apply. my studying has kinda plateaud, feels like im wasting time. not sure how to proceed and unfuck myself.
      Aug 21
    • Indeed uggjif
      Hey Saturn0820, wherever you are right now... I've been there too. It sucks, but you will get out of this. Honestly 300LC is a shit ton. What I would do if I were you is find the work I enjoy doing the most... Frontend, backend, or full stack and develop fun projects. Really find that passion which you can transmit when talking about projects during an interview. Simultaneously, continue applying to jobs and interviewing, but you need a different mindset. Look into stoicism and cognitive behavioral therapy. You need to be OK with getting rejected or with whatever you think is the worst outcome. Once you can reach that state, things become a lot easier. I know you'll make it out of this like I did. Best of luck. Feel free to PM me.
      Aug 21
  • Skidmore Owings & Merrill LLP Lil1th
    Honestly, I think web development is really hard. I had several false starts with Ruby on Rails, React, etc. Also, it's over-saturated with boot camp people. I've been doing better since I stopped trying to learn web development and just focused on Java.
    Aug 21 0
  • Intel PhucMAGA
    Never forget that the industry will always pay a live-able wage at any company. Life’s purpose isn’t really working or any particular project. Try to come to the perspective that a job and money simply enable you to do what you actually want to experience in life. Any job will get you there, don’t give it existential power over you. Keep practicing, keep interviewing, and you will land on your feet.

    Interview-wise, just relax and remember to be personable. Be able to make some answer about how anything in your resume made you improve or learn something. Being able to improve or learn is usually seen as a good skill at entry-level.

    PM your resume
    Aug 21 0
  • I went through a depression phase in college from similar life events like you OP. So I highly sympathize and wish the best for you. You can keep practicing to eventually get into those big companies. However, it’s probably better for you to try target smaller companies where you won’t face thousands of competitors. You can still grow and do interesting and challenging projects outside of FAANG.
    Aug 21 0
  • Cruise Automation CromeP4nda
    If you have any classmates who might be willing to refer you, reach out to them. Referalls will increase the chance your resume is at least looked at
    Aug 21 1
    • OP
      Yeah, referrals are no issue. mostly looking for ways to prioritize interview preparation.

      I've been compiling a spreadsheet of friends/internal recruiters to contact for companies that are (or potentially will be) hiring.
      Aug 21
  • Microsoft / Eng AmYe88
    Simple steps.. Apply for all the jobs you see anywhere. Target startup or low paying job but high on learning side. Work there for 2-3 year and keep LC meanwhile. You will easily get into your Dream job after that. It’s a long pull but you will have to keep your shit together
    Aug 21 1
    • OP
      I don't have issues with smaller companies, but they always seem to ghost me. I've maybe sent out 3-400 apps to smaller companies I find on linkedin and only 2 have gotten back to me for phone screens, 1 of which I failed and another which ghosted me right after the phone screen.
      Aug 21
  • Capital One LCatWork
    Cram EPI, found it much better than raw leetcode, good luck man!
    Aug 21 0

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