How do I get myself to settle for the right guy ?
Approaching 30 and still very single. My girlfriends tell me that I should just lower my standards and I’ll find a keeper. I’m just having trouble doing it when it comes to love. I realize we all need to do it in other aspects of our lives because nobody has their dream job, house, car etc .. but it seems so heartless to do it for love. Am I being childish for singling this out ? Did married people here settle and were fine in the end ?
What are your requirements?
Are you good looking.
Most women settle when dating. It's the guys who always "fall in love" (really lust) first, consistently. Most women are also more attractive than their partners. How many times have you seen a hot girl and average guy? What about a Chad and a nobody? Exactly. Basically girls can learn to find guys attractive based on their personality, whereas guys must fall in love with your appearance first before caring about your personality. So work on your appearance and you'll get guys lined up to date you. I mean you really gotta go the whole way (be skinny, have great skin, hair, best makeup practices, etc.). This is the only way you can be picky. Otherwise, you gotta settle.
Drake is right on the momey. Additionally the most basic criteria must be satisfied: you both should be friends first and must have something that you respect in each other. Whole relationship is balanced on that. Later comes the love and the trust thing in relationship. My 2 and half cents...
There’s a lot of girls who date guys who are hotter. I see it all the Time. Most date equal
If you're trying to assess things on a purely quantitative basis, when you're actually talking about something qualitative, then you're going to have problems. Trying to hit every quantity across many metrics, and not being flexible about it, will limit the pool too much, especially when some of your metrics will be in opposition to each other, in practise if not in principle.
How well do you know yourself? You should be able to rate yourself (on whatever point system you like) on many different facets and your partner should be about the same total score with no extreme differences in any category. It's really that simple. If you're moderately attractive and really awesome, you'll be able to get a hot guy but he might be so so intellectually and you'll have to work hard to find him (dating apps are hard for people who don't have perfect faces)
Hahahahahaha. Stop listening to what your friends say. Being single isn’t a crime. Most of the divorces happen because people do settle and then they realize it was a mistake. I’m a guy and on the same boat as you. I would rather be single for the rest of my life and be happy than be in a miserable relationship.
Truth. The married right after college move is almost a direct route to divorce 😂
This ^ is not true.
I am a single too 😥 guy. So.
Give yourself a bit more time. You'll learn how to settle naturally. Date more people when you are young and capable....
The real question is would you actually be happy if you lowered your standards or would you hate yourself in 10 years which would lead to a divorce and more misery down the road?
What kind of man are you looking for? Serious question.
I’m not sure actually, but when we talk about boys my friends tell me that my standards are too high. 😒
You're going to have to be a little bit more analytical about it. What attributes do you value in a man that your friends are convinced your standards are too high?