How do I learn to love and be a good boyfriend?
Hi beautiful people, I am a soon to graduate senior and I am really worried about my nonexistent love life. I have always been possessive and jealous boyfriend. At least my exes have told me so and these days I've started to realize it. I think about things a lot and it doesn't end well to me. I had a gf in high school and I was really possessive and it didn't go well. She was a nice girl but due to my overthinking it didn't go well. During my sophomore year college, I was with another girl and it didn't go well either. I blame everything on me. As I will be graduating soon, I want to be a good and understanding boyfriend. How do I be a good bf? Do you guys recommend any book to me? How do I be less possessive and understanding? My problem is that I think too much and run to conclusions. How do I improve myself? Genuine suggestions only please, I am serious. Thank you!!!!
stop fapping
I am serious people. I want to improve and learn more. What should I do? Read some books or sth else?
The jealousy and possessiveness is usually a sign of insecurity within yourself. I would get to the root of the issue as to why you feel/react that way, and seek therapy in order to figure out a better coping method. Only when you are fully secure and happy with yourself can you be happy with someone else.
Thanks! Yeah I feel insecure sometimes that I'm skinny.
it was a serious reply. Not fapping reduces overthinking. Try it for yourself
Thanks, if you were serious.
Well, even if he wasn't, he's right.
Jealously comes from insecurity/diffidence. Focus on becoming self-reliant and everything else will take care of itself.
Therapy helps. Feeling of jealousy could be from deeper issues of something else. I heard of insecurities. It could be something more to why you may feel that way. It is now always one sided. It could be the types of partners that you’re attracted to. Knowing your worth and positive enforcement can help. Anyhow, if you’re serious about getting better for your future partners, you will need to work on getting better for yourself first. I highly recommend a psychotherapist.
Focus on improving yourself. You make the mistake of putting your girlfriends on a pedestal. Work on your self confidence (and that comes from being successful, social and fit). Start lifting. If you’re the catch, you wouldn’t worry about your girlfriend leaving you. You will just get another.
+1 to lifting. People underestimate how big of an ego boost that gives
It’s great that you’re asking and a n amazing step in becoming mature. Blind is not a good place to ask, most people here are dysfunctional. Observe successful relationships in your surroundings. Being possessive is never good. Also, a lot of things also tend to get simpler with age , less drama is the key to success. Don’t overthink, set boundaries, learn to pick your battles, establish trust. You may get burnt -shit happens, but ultimately, you’ll find the person that is on the same wavelength. Ultimately, always remember that you cannot control another person. What you can control is you reaction. Your partner is not your property, neither Are they the extension of you.
Yeah, the problem is I don't want to overthink but can't stop overthinking.
This is a serious problem, that we, the blinders, cannot address. Read the love languages book mentioned above. And find out why are you jealous. Bad experiences? Childhood trauma? Over controlling parents? Answer for yourself. Get a friend and drink a six pack and start talking. Take notes. The important question to answer is: " why do I feel this?".
Meditate.
Probably negative. Still in college. Lol
Still interviewing. Not yet