Do you have any close friends? If so, what do you do to maintain that friendship? Do you call them often without any need or purpose? Or anything? I feel I don’t have any close friends because I am very bad at maintaining any relationship. When I meet them it’s fun; after that I don’t talk to any of them until we meet again. Please advise. No trolls!!
It does take effort by both people to maintain a relationship but show interest in them by asking questions and listening, and share about yourself...look for things you have in common or could be something to build on in future conversations. Exchange contact info and initiate a time to get together again.
In my experience: Meet internationals. Americans are terrible at profound/long-lasting friendships
Have you considered that it could be your own background? If you yourself are international, it can be culturally different interacting with non internationals which could lead to stronger relationships with people who share commonality.
I agree, but have not been able to come up with a complete theory as to why. There might be a good reason. Any thoughts? My hunch is that it’s because— A: The US is a heterogeneous society so people trust each other less. B: Because people trust each other less they adopt a clubby mentality, and prefer interacting with people similar to themselves. (Though to some extent this is human nature, it’s compounded in the states.) In the US, where you went to school, your religion, ethnicity, political affiliation, or nerd/frat identity are key markers. C: Americans are used to moving a lot because of their jobs, and money plays a greater role in people’s lives here. Also distances here are greater than in many other countries, so that’s an additional barrier to maintaining friendships. D: I might just be a loner 😂
I don’t have any close friends either. I had a few in school but have fallen out of touch/moved away. I find this very hard here as well. In ca I feel people are more ambitious and career focused than where I am from.
Taking a shit on their shoes
I find it exhausting maintaining friendships. Mostly because it seems like I'm always the one having to do the maintaining. It would be nice if I was the one receiving all the calls for a change.
If you make more friends, some will stick. I'm really bad at maintaining too so it's just whoever I meet (and I meet a shitton of people) who sticks
So it's a numbers game lol
I have a good circle of close friends. I select my friends based by common interests, morale and values. The type of persons I want to be around them regardless of fun. We can talk to each other about happinesses and difficulties. I don’t meet with my friends often. I keep in touch via texting. If a friend needs me. I will go and meet. I show my feelings and empathy. I try my best to be there. I stay true to my friends and myself. Consistency is important to building friendship and relationships. Good luck!
Do you ask for help for small things like airport drops etc?
Never. I don’t bond over doing chores. My friends get “no” for these types of requests: - Moving - Airport drops - Painting I spend quality time with my friends. Hiking, running and traveling activities are welcome.
Same here
Great relationships are based on empathy, common ground which emerges from trust. Share your vulnerability not just accomplishments, be genuine. You will make friends.
I am neither American, Indian or Chinese and find it hard to make friends, those group circles usually keep their circles within the same race, Chinese with Chinese, Indian with Indian. Also Seattle sucks to make friends, people are nerdy as shit and we got seattle freeze, I am from Vancouver Canada, and made so many friends when I moved there but not Seatte.
It's pretty easy nowadays to maintain communication. I usually keep running conversations with close friends on FB Messenger. I periodically ask them to hang out and we do. Easy.
Same, messenger and Skype group chats. We call for a few hours every day
"We call for a few hours every day". Really? That's not what I would call easy, more like codependency.